*Sad Dilemma* - don't know what to do [Archive]

domane

7th Mar 2006, 01:27 PM

Pink's lady

7th Mar 2006, 01:37 PM

Get a sharer in for one or two days a week. that will give you time to catch up on things and if they share a weekend day, a chance to lie in. For everyone's benifit, that would be best. You'll have more energy to devote to Cherry, make less mistakes at work, and have more time for you're family. And cherry will love having another admirer to pamper her. ;)

teabiscuit

7th Mar 2006, 01:39 PM

domane-summer should mean less work for you, less feeding, mucking out, less struggle in cold nasty dark weather-it will be easier i promise. i'm knackered too, i get like it this time of year, it is the hardest part of the year IMO.
hope you feel better soon

mayS

7th Mar 2006, 01:45 PM

Have you considered full-care livery so you don't have to visit her every day? At least temporarily, it could give you a break.

Do you feel more tired than you used to? (Sorry for my silly questions as I do not know the details of your sitation) Maybe you're under lots of stress and it's translating to exhaustion; try to cut back on some of your obligations. It may not hurt to talk to your doctor as fatigue is health related. Here in the US we have Lyme and fibro myalgia as common causes for fatigue. Diet/nutrition can also play a part.

Belle1

7th Mar 2006, 02:24 PM

This is always the worst time of year for any horse owner. My motivation levels tend to nose-dive in mid February and pick up again when it gets warmer. Why not wait and see how you feel in a month?

I used to be on DIY, but due to ill-health and no decent yards within 10 miles of home I found it tough going to do DIY, hold down a demanding job with a 60 mile round trip commute, and find time for things like housework. I can't afford full livery, so I now have Tali on working livery 12 miles from home. For me it is the ideal solution as I don't use all of my energy up on mucking out, he gets some etxra exercise and I can still ride him whenever I want (which I couldn't if I had a sharer).

katieB

7th Mar 2006, 02:27 PM

I really dont know how people cope when theyre in your situation - how is there possibly enough hours in the day to fit in looking after a horse on DIY livery (thats what you do isnt it?) work full time, do the housework and spending time with kids? :confused: I work full time, look after Milly on DIY and attend college but I know I would struggle if I didnt live at home. When I finish at the yard I can go home and not do a thing all evening and there have been times lately where I have been sooooo tired, like you ive been ready for bed by 7:30.
Dont feel bad about considering a sharer, its true this is the hardest part of the year but there is only so much you can cope with without running yourself into the ground - you wont be much good to hubby, kids or Cherry then!

LMS

7th Mar 2006, 02:33 PM

There are also other factors that contribute to fatigue (continuing with what MayS has suggested) such as depression.
Getting your doctor to do a full blood test in order to check your vitamin & other levels would be a good idea.

*Sez*

7th Mar 2006, 02:33 PM

I often find it difficult, too, but luckily am in a position that if I'm too tired to go to the yard, I know my parents will see to Salsa. Sometimes it drives me crazy and I feel like he's not really mine (I came close to having a strop last night :o when I was told I'd given him too much hay as if I didn't know what I was doing with my own horse) but I know that ultimately it's to my benefit, and they've probably just gotten close to Sal while I was too unwell to go to the yard the last few months. Still, I wish I could manage on my own like I used to!

I have to admit that sharing with someone outside the family doesn't appeal to me (in fact, after how emotional I got about Jacob, sharing inside the family doesn't appeal either!). I would always worry about the sharer thinking I was breathing down their neck, or them getting over- attached to my horse and leaving me feeling "pushed out" like I did with Jake.

Have a check at your yard and see if there's someone who will do jobs for cash? We had a helper for most of the winter and for three or four pounds a day she would rug up, feed, turn out, and muck out. She would even exercise for £2 for half an hour. What you could do with is someone that'd do the evening a few nights a week. That way you don't have the expense of full livery and you wouldn't feel like you were stepping on a sharer's toes.

andreaB

7th Mar 2006, 02:48 PM

would your yard do part livery? even doing morning turnout would probably lessen the load for you so that you just have to go to the yard once a day

i don't mean to be rude , but have you had a health check recently?? maybe there could be a little issue that is dragging you down a bit??

ps , things really do improve once the light evenings are upon us so chin up

Big Ears

7th Mar 2006, 02:59 PM

I have five to do but I keep them at home so that makes it much easier, as I can fit my day/work around them and I work from home.

If I had to commute to work and have them in a diy yard I would be worn out. This time of year with the wet etc is just horrible too - people get tired and weary as it is just such a slog, out there in the cold and wet. Gets much better in summer.

Get a sharer and some help and enjoy it a bit more.

nicolaj

7th Mar 2006, 03:01 PM

As has been suggested, part livery - just leaving the weekends for you to do? You can then go up on the evenings when you feel you have the energy!

Another thought is can you begin to keep Cherry out 24/7? I know some yards don't allow it due to limited grazing, but start keeping her out during the spring /summer and just leave her out during autumn and they do aclimatize, just ensure she is well rugged up during the horrible weather. As long as the yard owner checks in the morning or a friend, this could limit your visits to once a day, then you just need to bring her in to feed and then turn out again, no mucking out etc? Just another thought.

Also ditto others, sometimes nasty viral/bacterial infections can really knock you off your feet and this time of year there seems to be so many around. I know of somebody who has been off work for 6 weeks due to something like that.:(

Also take a look at what you are doing, has your job recently got more demanding and/or more responsible? Are you travelling a long way to the yard and/or work? Sounds like you've got loads of balls up in the air at once. How much help do you get at home ie with cooking tea, housework, shopping etc. (I'm sure you've got a supportive family and they help out), but sometimes this isn't always the case and us being women tend to take on everything!

Sharers can be good if you trust them and they have the same philosophy as you, but could also add to your stress. If the finances aren't the problem (not prying) and you are juggling too much probably other options to explore. Firstly go to your GP!

Hope it works out and you feel better soon.:)

LMS

7th Mar 2006, 03:03 PM

I know what you mean! It is difficult!
My husband & I have our own business that we started from scratch 13yrs ago, we have two kids, have had a farm house moved onto our property a couple of years ago and are doing all the renovations, basement construction, and landscaping ourselves. As well I teach riding part time as well as put in my updating hours.

I'm just too pooped mentally & physically to spent training time with my 2 horses. And then with all the curve balls life likes to throw in...

I know how you feel domane!
No! You didn't get Cherry at the wrong time! With everything that is going on you may be heading for a burn out or depression or maybe your body needs some fine tuning from the help of a nutritional practitioner.

Blaming it on the horse as your coworkers are indicating is just an easy target for them.

I found that even though I went through a burnout which led to a major depression, knowing that I still had something that I knew I once was so deeply involved with (horses), is what kept me going forward. Well & also a bit of support from my doctor reminding me that it was. (Not bad for a non horsey professional to see that).

Later on when I began improving, I was still exhausted all the time. Even thinking about trying to juggle everything was mentally demanding.

A client of ours, who's a nutrition practitioner suggested that I get my blood work done. We found out that my B12, B6, iron and thyroid was really low. Other levels were within the norm but right at the edge of it.

She fine tuned a personal plan for me & I slowly began improving.

I'm still not 100% but I take it a day at a time & try not to beat myself up over it.

It's worth looking at these options.

Ross

7th Mar 2006, 05:54 PM

I would second everything that's already been said. The major reason I kept mine on part livery was that I couldn't give them a reliable routine (or temper!) around a stressful full time job. Could you put Cherry on part livery for the winter?

That said, I haven't got a horse any more, and I feel tired and kind of grey atm - I'm convinced it's just the time of year, and once Spring comes everything will look brighter. Sunshine does make it easier, I think.

I also think it wouldn't hurt to consider getting a health check - if it was the horse, you'd have had the vet out doing blood tests and all sorts by now, wouldn't you? We exercise some quite strange double standards between horses and ourselves sometimes, I think :)

the other thing to bear in mind - how long have you had her? It does take a while to get in to the different routine, and it sounds as though you've had it at the toughest time of year...

Hope you're feeling better about life soon :)

Ross

horseaholic

7th Mar 2006, 06:26 PM

Agree with everyone to get a health check. If you can establish that it isn't an unrelated problem, would it be possible to arrange morning turnout? I'm sure it would seem much easier without the really early starts. Or if your yard is totally DIY, could you arrange with someone to kind of share jobs? For example you could put out their horse one morning and then they could put out Cherry the next etc. You can't be the only one on your yard struggling to find time for everything!

Bay Mare

7th Mar 2006, 06:39 PM

Another 'I agree' - get a health check, get a diet check and make sure that you're drinking enough fluids (a big cause of fatigue). Also (and I don't know you so am only floating ideas here) consider that you may be suffering from mild depression whether it's as a result of the long, dark, dingy days or something else. It's certainly worth looking into everything. It could be just that you're completely overstretched of course!

Apart from that is there any way that you could 'share' horsey duties with someone? Even if you only get one day off to recuperate it may help you to recharge your batteries.

Also look at other things in your life, could your family help out more? are you taking on too much at work? are you getting your lunch breaks? are you working too much overtime? Is there any way that you can offload some of the responsibility that you have? I don't mean cutting and running (though that may seem attractive at times) but just making others responsible for themselves occasionally :)

All the best.

domane

7th Mar 2006, 06:59 PM

Thank you ALL for your concern and comments..... for the record...

Yes (hands up) I have an appalling diet. I crave sugar so I love biscuits and cakes. I do eat a lot of green veg which I adore but I'm not much into fruit. I lost weight a couple of years ago through Slimming World and whilst I stuck to the diet I was blooming with energy and vitality BUT I was a bad-tempered moody cow... So Yes, I do plan to change my diet as I know that contributes - healthier stuff when I hit the shelves of Asda on Thursday!!!

I have a step-dad at death's door and I am an only child so my mum is leaning heavily on me. I don't have a brilliant relationship with her. She is in Middlesex which is good in that she is not on my doorstep but bad in that I have to visit and to me that wastes a weekend day (sorry if that sounds awful about my own mother but I could write a book about her!!!)

I have a teenage daughter (who lives with my mum) who has been hell on earth these past few years and is only just coming through it as she reaches 18 next week.

We have very little spare money due to stupidity with credit but I don't dwell on this, after all we got ourselves into the mess so we are paying it off bit by bit and we make the best of the life we have and don't complain that we can't have holidays, go out, etc... I feel a bit guilty having Cherry but she has brought a lot of joy to us all.

Hubby is wonderful (posted a while ago) - he does MORE than his bit around the house and never complains about me disappearing down the yard or being constantly asleep, which only makes me feel worse and guilty!!! :D

Yes the yard does do services so I need to look into what will suit me best in terms of our finances and timings.

My work is a great place, they all think I am barking for getting up at the crack of dawn to muck out but they understand my obsession and there have been no digs or complaints about a change in my work (nor the fact I often drop bits of hay when I walk :D ) - with regard to the mistakes I made, they could well have been made by me anyway and may not have anything to do with fatigue.... it's just I feel bad. They were only small and didn't have a massive effect but I noticed!!!

I feel slightly less tired tonight.... I think confessing my failing has helped - you know the saying about a problem shared???

Once again THANK YOU ALL..... :)

Imp

7th Mar 2006, 07:00 PM

Have you always felt like this since you got Cherry or is it a recent thing? I agree with the other posts that you maybe ought to have a health check, a simple thing like mild anaemia can cause over tiredness and is usually easy to fix :D

I'm feeling much the same, I've got 2 teenagers at home, one away at uni, husband (he's great :p ) and other animals (dog, cat, chickens and ducks) to care for when I'm at home.

I'm lucky that I share the morning run to do Megan with my daughter and we muck out, groom/hoof pick, turn out, get water ready and put down hay and prepare the night/morning feed. We can do that in 1/2 an hour in the morning but it's a 15 minute drive so we're out from 6-7am then back to get ready for work/college. In the evening I go on my way home from work to bring her in, groom, hoof pick, put her bed down and rug up, feed her and have 5 minutes kisses and cuddles before getting home at around 6:30 to get dinner for everybody.

This leaves me exhausted and I don't feel like I'm giving my family and other animals - to coin a phrase - their share of attention even though my sum total Megan exposure is down to an hour each day (longer at weekends though). I thought I was tired because this is a new life changing event and that it would get easier with time and I admit it has to an extent, but I'm permanently pooped :rolleyes:

Sorry, rambling on again, I find hearing about kindred spirits makes me feel better but even so I would also feel happier if you had a check up... just to rule out some trivial irk that may be causing you to be tireder than you would normally be :)

domane

7th Mar 2006, 07:03 PM

Imp - I was fine before I got her and I forgot to add to my other ramble that I am almost ashamed to admit that the yard is just over a mile away - it takes me 2mins 7 secs to drive there.... yes, I'm such a saddo that I actually timed it! :o

sidesaddlelady1

7th Mar 2006, 07:21 PM

OK, I have posted loads of times and you all know what a fab time I am having with Cherry but I am just SOOOOOOO tired all the time... I never wake up in the mornings and dread going or anything as I love everything I do for her and with her it's just that by the evening I can hardly keep my eyes open and I'm ready for bed by 7.30!!! I just don't seem to be able to fit in seeing my family, running a home, working and Cherry. There aren't any corners I can cut at the yard as I already have my mucking out/haynetting and watering down to a fine art!!!:p

I think I am going to have to consider getting a sharer as I have made a couple of silly mistakes at work (nothing too bad but my personal standard has been compromised!!) I feel really bad having to admit that I can't cope when others around me cope with theirs, some with more than one and I am having trouble with just the lovely Chez!!! I feel pathetic and inadequate.:(

People I have spoken to all say I bought her at the "wrong" time of the year and the fact that I have coped until now should boost my morale but it doesn't. I know that the summer is coming but I can't see that longer days are going to give me any more energy.

I'm fed up with feeling so drained all the time.

Any suggestions??? Thanks cyber-mates.....
If she's a fairly recent acquisition bear with it as it does get easier with practice. I used to do all my feeds and haynets for the week on Sundays which takes some of the pressure off(Obviously you don't moisten feeds and it isn't a good idea to mix a lot of sugar beet as it goes off partic in the warmer weather). The sky doesn't fall on you if you don't do a full groom every day. It won't hurt if all you can do is a quick brush down and picking ut hooves. Turning out in a rug keeps the horse cleaner.

Are you looking after your own health? Eating lots of fruit and veg, adequate protein, calcium containing foods? wide spectrum vitamin and mineral supplement. Rest whenever you can - I used to sneak out to the car in my lunch hour for a nap which helped. If you are tired in the evening go to bed. Can you get the family to help at home? Even the little ones can set the table, put away their own stuff and do a bit of dusting. It will do your family good to get to grips with the idea that Mum has a life apart from being their servant :) Is your O1/2 available to do the horse one night a week? If you offer him the horse or the ironing you win whichever he chooses. If he won't do either sack him:D

sidesaddlelady1

7th Mar 2006, 07:25 PM

Wise advice to get a check up. You couldn't be suffering from depression, could you? It can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

cazrider

7th Mar 2006, 07:51 PM

Domane, I couldn't do what you do! I work full time, long hours (quite often leave the house at 5.30, and not back until 7) and I have the yard feed, turn out, muck out and bring in during the week. I feed and finish off during the week, and do everything at weekends. I also have a wonderful sharer who adores him for two days a week. Don't feel guilty for not wanting or being able to have every spare minute with Cherry. It doesn't always work that way. I value and love the time I have with Sen, and especially enjoy the weekends. He's my antidote, and never a chore. Do what feels right for you, and if that's having a sharer, then go for it. It worked for me.:)

LMS

7th Mar 2006, 07:56 PM

Thank you ALL for your concern and comments..... for the record...

Yes (hands up) I have an appalling diet. I crave sugar so I love biscuits and cakes.

I have a step-dad at death's door and I am an only child so my mum is leaning heavily on me. I don't have a brilliant relationship with her. She is in Middlesex which is good in that she is not on my doorstep but bad in that I have to visit and to me that wastes a weekend day (sorry if that sounds awful about my own mother but I could write a book about her!!!)

I have a teenage daughter (who lives with my mum) who has been hell on earth these past few years and is only just coming through it as she reaches 18 next week.

we make the best of the life we have and don't complain that we can't have holidays, go out, etc... I feel a bit guilty having Cherry but she has brought a lot of joy to us all.

Hubby is wonderful (posted a while ago) - he does MORE than his bit around the house and never complains about me disappearing down the yard or being constantly asleep, which only makes me feel worse and guilty!!! :D

Yes the yard does do services so I need to look into what will suit me best in terms of our finances and timings.

That is a heck of a lot of stress! No wonder you're in the physical & mental state that you are in!

Hey at least you're not living with your mother!

We lived with my in-laws for over 8yrs and it was Hell! My mother-in-law has Borderline Personality Disorder (and other loverly mental ailments that come along with it) and my dear father-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia but finally lost the battle 2 1/2yrs ago. He couldn't take the mental anguish she was causing & let himself go. So, I can really sympathize with you regarding the stress value.

This environment that you are in has caused a "catch 22" kind of deal where eating/feeling fatigued is concerned. Sweets are easy access & a comfort food.
My secret diet consisted of tubs of ice cream & scones. (My son remembers how much it was fun to help me make the scones).

And yes, having a wonderful husband will make you feel worse. Why? Probably because "you just can't kick a puppy"! Meaning, how do you let out your frustration?

I bet talking about what really bothers you feels a bit strange but then again has lifted you in some way?

NoviceNic

7th Mar 2006, 10:12 PM

Ditto what everyone else has said on this thread. It really is the hardest time of the year to own a horse. On top of that you have work, house, kids family worries. Believe me even wonder woman would be on anti depressants to get her through these worries. I do all this by myself as well. My OH works away all week and just likes to stand/sleep around the house all weekend resting from his hard week. :rolleyes: So 12 months ago I went to see my doctor and hey presto he stuck me on anti depressants. Which I am again on this Winter. But it does make me so mad that I am on these dam tablets. When I am not unhappy just worn out. Maybe we all should go on a energy boosting diet? Anyone with ideas very welcome..:)

Gill

7th Mar 2006, 11:22 PM

Thank goodness spring is on the way, the days will be longer and the mud will dry up. Sounds like Cherry is helping to keep you sane even if you are exhausted with a lot on your plate.

Teenage daughters from hell grow up into fabulous people in my experience and by age 18 you are over the worst. My twin girls are 26 and you couldn't get better anywhere. So hang on in there.

Could Cherry not live out, causing much less work? Or perhaps you would find that more difficult?

Whatever happens it can only get better. I look back to my stressful time juggling terrible job, home, kids, horse and somehow you manage and peace returns.

Dummer&Drummer

8th Mar 2006, 09:00 AM

it is hard, i work full time in a hospital, got my daughter. i am lucky that drummer can live out though which gives a choice to go to the yard or not, but we do try and have a couple of nights at home. when we ride at the mo, we usually go straight to the yard from work (after picking up my daughter of course :) ) which means i dont see home all day and most evenings either, very tiring, but luckily the nights will pull out, lost about a stone in weight since i started riding :eek: was tiny anyway :)

you will feel better when the lighter nights come and it will give you a boost :) sharing a couple of nights a week could be a great idea x

Ross

8th Mar 2006, 12:43 PM

Domane, with all the other stuff going on in your life, there's no wonder you're feeling stressed! I think it's important to remember that Cherry is your quality time, and try to relax and enjoy her.

I do think, with a view of the other problems, that it might be a good idea to try a sharer, even if only for a couple of days a week, to take some of the pressure off. Perhaps you could set up an agreement for an initial period (say 3 months) to see how things go, and then review the situation...

Keep your chin up :) And we're all here if you want a pep talk!

Ross

mad mare1

8th Mar 2006, 04:35 PM

Go to the doctors, and have a check up, it may be medical, or you could be like me and suffer from Seasonal Affected Disorder. It is where your body doesn't get enough sunlight to make Vitamin D, so you feel low, depressed,no energy etc. I have a UV light,like a mini sunbed lamp that I sit in front of if I get really bad, it's amazing how much better I feel afterwards!!! I wasn't properly diagnosed until I was 18, so my mum just thought I was lazy,but then my doctor diagnosed SAD, and I can now manage my condition pretty effectively, but dull days like today don't make things easy!

Asti

9th Mar 2006, 08:30 AM

I have skimmed through this thread so excuse me if someone else has already posted this

As well as reiterating all about diet etc (I read a book on GI and the effects sugar has on the body scared me into eating better - try it)

Is there anybody else at your yard who does the same type of thing as you. I wouldn't like the idea of sharing my horses (even with my sister) but sharing tasks is a different thing altogether.

What I suggest is maybe 2 of you getting together and sharing the duties between you. For example if you were to do both horses in the morning then the other perosn could do both in the evenings. If you did this on a week on week off type of thing it would enable you both to have one week of lie ins and another week of evenings at home with your family!

You can often do 2 horses in only a little more time than 1. Also fill haynets in advance so you have a couple of days to hand in one go.

OK it would take some organising but you may not be the only person feeling like this.

I must be odd cos I don't mind winter, but will admit that with tasks etc the summer is much better. Our Horses go out 24/7 and don't get hard feed at all.

Stick it out for a few of the longer months and then make a decision come July August kind of time for the next winter.

A

Bebe

9th Mar 2006, 02:07 PM

I'm pretty much permanently shattered, particularly in winter. I don't have as much going on as you do by the sounds of it but I do have a very slightly underactive thyroid. It went seriously wrong a few years ago according to the symptoms I presented, enough to be picked up by blood tests but even at it's worst it only showed up as being very marginally below the normal range. It picked up again after some thryoxine but the Drs pulled me off it when it went back into the normal range, despite some symptoms still being present. I don't have the energy to argue about how, just possibly, what's normal for me may well be not what's normal for other people, so I just get on with things as best I can. I suspect it will probably keel over completely at some point, by which time the NHS might bother to do something about it.

Most people wouldn't notice but 99% of the time I'm bone tired and the 1% of the time when it gets beyond that I do start to come apart at the seams a bit.

I find little things help. My bosses at work are good about letting me work through lunch so I can finish early every now and again which means I can spend that time doing necessary things whilst allowing myself some time to sit down and rest. I try not to schedule too much at the weekends so I can have some time to myself, run everything else with almost military precision as otherwise it just doesn't get done, and don't let myself stop for 5 mins when I do have a lot to do otherwise I'll fall asleep (I can sleep anywhere).

Anyway, just thought it was worth mentioning that sometimes there can be things we don't know of, above and beyond a hectic lifestyle, which could be the cause of excessive tiredness. It's probably worth getting yourself checked out, addressing your diet, etc before making any big decisions about sharers, etc.

Little Dolphins

9th Mar 2006, 02:55 PM

I had a bit of a meltdown some while ago due to pressure;depression and Chronic Fatigue syndrome too, and didn't realise how bad I was till I went to the doc and she said STOP.
A while sick from work and gradual help from better diet, rest, etc. helped me. I also didn't know I was dehydrated- under stress we don't drink enough water. It was my osteopath who pointed out this aspect as well as giving me guidelines about vitamins and minerals. Stress begins to work against the body in loads of ways. If you are brave and determined as a character- and that's you, Domane- you tend to go BEYOND your body's capacity to cope by trudging on too long ...

So, please get some help soon;) Not saying you have the above probs, but still, if your GP is someone who knows you, a visit there might be a good thing. Sounds like you need a break with a sicknote, take some time, look after yourself:) Hope things get better for you soon, dear thing:)

domane

9th Mar 2006, 05:45 PM

Once again THANK YOU ALL for your continued good wishes and support.I have done my weekly shop tonight (AND had an evening away from Cherry as my lovely OH offered to muck her out etc, bless him) and I have stocked up on lots of lovely healthy fruit and veg. First step for me is to change my awful diet. If I am not starting to feel differently in a couple of weeks (roughly when the clocks go forward) I PROMISE you that I will book a doctors appointment.

I don't use the word depression lightly and I don't THINK I am (I had an episode many years ago and I don't feel as bad as I did then, and one episode does not make me "prone" to it either ;) ) but I may need a check over as you have correctly pointed out. Of course being in the circle of "other people manage so why can't I?" guilt probably just adds to it but I do have a few options which I am exploring, starting with looking after number one from the INSIDE :rolleyes:

Watch this space........

HairyCob

9th Mar 2006, 06:03 PM

Caz&Irena

10th Mar 2006, 06:37 AM

Domane, I think it's unlikely you have depression or anything else medical, although it is worth getting it checked out of course.

I think you are just understandably knackered!

I'm pretty shattered too, and the time of year doesn't help- it's all arse backwards with horses- in the summer when the evenings are lighter and we all have more energy, there's not much to do, in the winter when it's miserable and dark and we'd all rather be hibernating, there's loads to do;)

I can however heartily reccomend asking around at your yard to see if anyone else wants some help- as has been suggested, you do mornings, they do afternoons etc. I've had to have this arrangement at all the yards I've been at- working shifts means I just can't get there either in the morning or in the afternoon. Sharing the work load does help- wether you have two of you sharing it and only have to go once a day, or have a 'rota' with three or four of you, which means that occasionally you can have a complete day off!:D It also means that as long as you trust the others to do your horse properly, you don't have the worry or hassle of having someone sharing (and riding) your girl:eek:

Good luck, and keep your chin up mate, it's only a few more weeks and they'll all be going out, the weather will improve, the mucking out will stop, the haynets won't need filling....:D You're gonna LOVE having a horse in the spring, summer and autumn, promise:D It will be your bolt hole and sanity saver;) ;)

I couldn't agree more! To be honest I go to bed at 8.30pm as my alarm goes off at 4.30am and that is just to go to work, I don't even muck out in the morning. That is left to my OH or I pay someone to do it (they do it as a business on the yard). I don't get home until 6pm and by the time I get back from the yard it is nearer 7. I have something to eat, normally a take away or convenience meal and yes I also have a very sweet tooth, I'm sure I comfort eat this time of the year:o Then hour or two of tv and bed! Housework and shopping is saved until the weekend. I'm completely knackered too and the only way I catch up is sleep! Weekends I stay up longer and treat myself to a lie in around 7.30am Saturdays and 9am (bliss!!) on Sundays. It is true that this time of the year every horse owner that I meet at the muck heap questions why they do it, me included, but once Spring and Summer arrives you realise exactly why you do:D

esse

10th Mar 2006, 07:04 AM

A parent or step-parent in trouble - regardless of your existing relationship with them or their partner - is almost bound to stress/depress you. Take it from one who knows NOW but who didn't realise it when it happened some 20 years ago.

Being in debt is also very stressfull - take heart that you have the sense and intelligence to be climbing out of it!

Otherwise, I second the o.p's ideas about getting a physical health checkup. Also see if you could find - maybe not a sharer if you don't like the idea - but a horse-mad teenager who could turn out or bring in for you a few times a week, if you leave everything "ready", which will only take an extra few minutes when you are already there.

There are also all sorts of time-saving tricks - for instance you can mix up dry feeds by the week or month in ziploc plastic bags to save a few minutes, just adding oil/soaked beet/water when "ready to serve".

Megans mum

11th Mar 2006, 07:14 PM

maybe your diet cause you say you eat sugary things biscuits etc and that can pick you up quickly and drop you further down than you started' also you should drink plenty as that can leave you lethargic' look after yourself as well as your horse and you will find a difference' my daughter used to say when I ate chocolate to keep going' an orange will give you the same amount of energy but slower and last longer'

ponytails76

12th Mar 2006, 10:08 PM

WOW. I am tired for you just reading your posts. Thank god that you have a supportive other half. I was feeling tired all the time I was doing no where near what you are doing. I saw my Dr saying that I was tired all the time etc she said that in the winter months people can suffer from seasonal depression due to lack of sun light (vit D). I am not sure if this could be the case as I am not sure of the weather where you live but. I took some multi vit and it helped. Spring is just around the corner and maybe think of all the good things that it can bring. Good luck and take care of yourself. Life is to short to be un happy!