Nimbus65
13th Mar 2006, 06:54 AM
Me . . . not the horse.
So I've always been a little wary as a rider. Came to it as an adult (38) and all that jazz. My first instructor was also a fairly conservative rider and while she set me up well, she probably let my fears take hold a little. I've had my current instructor for about a year and a half and together we have worked really hard on progressing my riding. A little over a year ago I had a very nasty fall - came off in canter and ended up being ambulanced to hospital w/ a torn back muscle. It's played havoc w/ my confidence ever since but I had really felt in the past 6 months that I'd conquered it. I've been regularly cantering out hacking (usually on the same horse). Late last summer, I spent loads of time out in the cross-country field (where the horses are much fresher). I don't back off Stan when he throws a tantrum and bucks. I got after Poppy when she popped a couple of bucks when I was riding w/out stirrups the other day. I didn't turn a hair when Nimbus took off with me in the outdoor school - just laughed and brought her back to me. I was doing really well. Until yesterday. I was riding Maverick in the outdoor school - I was getting fabulous canter transitions (he's very well schooled and if you don't ask him properly, he won't do it . . . and until yesterday, I'd struggled with him) . . . he was popping straight into canter no problem. We were working on my hands - I tend to bury them and block the horse's withers so we were working on my keeping them UP . . . and then I don't know what happened . . . all of a sudden a trip-switch went off in my little brain and I was suddenly afraid to canter :( Mav got a little strong . . . but he's the sanest of all the horses . . . he doesn't buck (at all), he doesn't tank off (at all), he's not remotely spooky . . . but he is very forward. Perhaps it all felt a bit fast all of a sudden. Whatever it was, I just panicked. And that was the end of the lesson. I don't get to ride Mav very often . . . along with Stan, he's probably my favourite horse. My RI and I had a long chat afterwards - she asked me why I didn't trust her and I tried to explain that it's not about trusting her, it's trusting myself (and Mav). She told me (and I know this) that I'm not progressing as fast as I can b/c my fear holds me back.
I need a kick in the hind area . . . or a way to stop saying "I can't" . . . when I know that I can. Right now, sitting here, I want to go and get back on Mav and canter him again. I'm just so cross w/ myself for "spoiling" what had been a really good lesson. And for letting my fear get in the way.
N
So I've always been a little wary as a rider. Came to it as an adult (38) and all that jazz. My first instructor was also a fairly conservative rider and while she set me up well, she probably let my fears take hold a little. I've had my current instructor for about a year and a half and together we have worked really hard on progressing my riding. A little over a year ago I had a very nasty fall - came off in canter and ended up being ambulanced to hospital w/ a torn back muscle. It's played havoc w/ my confidence ever since but I had really felt in the past 6 months that I'd conquered it. I've been regularly cantering out hacking (usually on the same horse). Late last summer, I spent loads of time out in the cross-country field (where the horses are much fresher). I don't back off Stan when he throws a tantrum and bucks. I got after Poppy when she popped a couple of bucks when I was riding w/out stirrups the other day. I didn't turn a hair when Nimbus took off with me in the outdoor school - just laughed and brought her back to me. I was doing really well. Until yesterday. I was riding Maverick in the outdoor school - I was getting fabulous canter transitions (he's very well schooled and if you don't ask him properly, he won't do it . . . and until yesterday, I'd struggled with him) . . . he was popping straight into canter no problem. We were working on my hands - I tend to bury them and block the horse's withers so we were working on my keeping them UP . . . and then I don't know what happened . . . all of a sudden a trip-switch went off in my little brain and I was suddenly afraid to canter :( Mav got a little strong . . . but he's the sanest of all the horses . . . he doesn't buck (at all), he doesn't tank off (at all), he's not remotely spooky . . . but he is very forward. Perhaps it all felt a bit fast all of a sudden. Whatever it was, I just panicked. And that was the end of the lesson. I don't get to ride Mav very often . . . along with Stan, he's probably my favourite horse. My RI and I had a long chat afterwards - she asked me why I didn't trust her and I tried to explain that it's not about trusting her, it's trusting myself (and Mav). She told me (and I know this) that I'm not progressing as fast as I can b/c my fear holds me back.
I need a kick in the hind area . . . or a way to stop saying "I can't" . . . when I know that I can. Right now, sitting here, I want to go and get back on Mav and canter him again. I'm just so cross w/ myself for "spoiling" what had been a really good lesson. And for letting my fear get in the way.
N