what are the best ways to become a friend with your horse?

[Pinto mad!]

my horse is scared of everything so, how do i get him to trust me? i want him to be a friend but how do i get him to be my friend? what are the best Parelli exercizes as well. any help would be appreciated.

[Est]

You really need one of the NH people to reply to this, but...
If he's lacking confidence, he's not so much needing a friend as needing someone to say, "It's okay, I'm in charge, no need to worry". By doing this and being a leader, you'll find you become his friend anyway :) (I own a bit of a worrier too!)
Some things you can do:

Keep your body language positive and confident when you are around him. Stand tall, breathe regularly, steady eye contact, confident and purposeful movements.

Take time to build up a bond - groom him, give him a massage, etc

Do some basic groundwork. Start by leading him around from next to his shoulder like you normally would. Make several changes of direction so he is watching to see what you will do next, and following you. Start to work in a few halts, and then also change the speed you are walking at (slow, fast, normal, fast etc). Really make your body language clear and even a bit exaggerated - for example if you are slowing down, bring your shoulders and upper body back slightly. If you are turning, turn with your whole upper body just like if you were riding. As he gets the idea, start to walk slightly ahead of him, still making lots of changes of direction to keep him focusing on you. Keep it short at first and make a big fuss of him afterwards. After a few sessions you will probably be able to do this without him having a headcollar on - he will just follow "the boss" with a relaxed, lowered head and stick at your heels!

Lungeing is a good follow up because then you are still telling him where to be, but it is telling him to be further away from you and to keep that distance. Again, keep confident body language that is a bit more "squared up" to him. When you call a halt, soften your shoulders so they are more rounded and less firm and then walk up to him and praise him.

After this, you could try training him to walk through water (maybe he does this already?), or over weighted-down bin liners, or to walk/trot over poles with coats draped over them, or past a carrier bag tied to a post etc. Because of the work you did earlier, he'll feel confident that he's safe with you and you'll find he's a lot less scared than he was.

Anyway, an NH person can give a much better reply, but hopefully this helps for now :)

[mayS]

Spend lots of time with him and don't be doing hard work 100% of the time.

I build wonderful relationships with my horses via Clicker training. But I feel anyone who spends alot of time with their horse (provided the horse isn't being overworked or stressed) will develop a good relationship. The more you work with him, the more he'll look to you for leadership.

One tip: be consistent. For example even if you're in a really grumpy mood, don't be short with the horse or extra-quick to correct him. Reward him for what he does right, not just punish what he does wrong. And reward/punish somewhat consistently... don't go one day and be extra harsh with no rewardsa, then shower with treats and no corrections the next day, etc. If you do find yourself getting angry/frustrated with him, take a time-out or do something else. You're not training if you're really angry.

[Yann]

Anyway, an NH person can give a much better reply

I doubt it:)

[Crystal Fire]

Oi you! :D
I'd say spend relaxed time with them and find their scratchy places. Soon you'll be wishing you hadn't as they'll follow you round the field getting in the way of you poo picking by positioning themselves for attention.

[Est]

I doubt it:)
Now was that a compliment, or an insult to the NH'ers? ;) :D

[Rips]

Find his itchy spot and scratch it :D

[Crystal Fire]

Whose itchy spot? Yann's??? :o

[Rips]

http://www.newrider.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[FRED]

:D
quote:Whose itchy spot? Yann's??? :o

Remember,no more than 4oz to tackle the itch and use a carrot stick if looking grumpy;) just in case of snaps:D

[Crystal Fire]

I will remember this... but in my case I will use my Tomato Stick, I do not have a Carrot Stick and I don't want to risk any harm coming to my Lip Stick :D

[Yann]

Find his itchy spot and scratch it


Works every time if you want to bond with me LOL:D

Now was that a compliment, or an insult to the NH'ers?

Definitely a compliment, you certainly covered everything I would have said:)
I think the most important thing is always to take enough time and go at the horse's speed, something we often find difficult:)

[Pinto mad!]

first of all, he doesn't have an itchy spot! weird huh? he seems to like me a little bit, but i am always giving him treats! and when my mom's around, it seems like he hates me! i don't know what to do. i am going to the barn today, and i'm going to braid his mane. i hop that gets his liking up! he seems to be scared of me to. he is 16.2HH and he was scared of a miniture!