Just bought my first horse.... [Archive]

domane

20th Mar 2006, 10:18 PM

Hey all! I have come to you to ask for some guidance...

I have just bought my first horse. But there's a problem...I'm having second thoughts! I'm thinking it's the idea of the responsbility and obligation...but I was just wondering if anyone else felt this way after purchasing their first?

BTW....he's a total sweetie...I really like him and get on with him well.

Congratulations.... we want all the details and PHOTOS!!!

I had a major panic attack when I bought Cherry last November about the responsibility, the obligation, being sure I wasn't knowledgeable enough and the FINANCES :eek: Even though I was walking around on a cloud of happiness, it took 3 weeks and I was sitting at work and turned to my colleague and said "Oh my God! I've bought a horse!!" (she was looking at me all puzzled as I had talked about Chery non-stop prior to that moment) and it finally sank in. That was when the worries fizzled away and now I just can't imagine life without her. It has been a hard slog for me during this winter but I have stuck with it and I am glad summer is on the way.

I'm sure I won't be the only one to confirm that what you are feeling is entirely normal!!! :)

HorsieLuver

20th Mar 2006, 10:23 PM

thank you for replying domane!! I'm glad I'm normal lol
ok...the stats on Dante!!

He's a registered half - arab, 10 years old, 15.3 hh, chestnut with a big blaze, super sweet. He's got this great personality, very forgiving, always trying to please...:rolleyes: He's my first horse and the first horse I have felt confident on in a while. I bought him yesterday, but I've had him on trial for the week!

Grace O'Malley

20th Mar 2006, 11:08 PM

Welcome to the "new horse owners of 2006" club! :D

And, yes, I think your feelings are pretty normal. At least I'm still going "OMG, what have I done!" :eek: , at times, because the responsibility is just so huge (reminds me of having a baby!).

Still, as stressed as I get about worming and training and hoof care and riding etc....just spending time with her makes me happy :)

And your guy is gorgeous! And you say you get on well, so...there you go ;)

Tehiti_Horse

21st Mar 2006, 12:46 AM

Congrats on your gorgeous horsie! :D

I don't have a horse, but I hope to one day! :)

worldtravel

21st Mar 2006, 03:43 AM

congrats. on first horse . I dont have a horse hope get one some day . Sometimes read magzine and talk at barn and think oh my there so much put into horse how will keep up .

MeMe

21st Mar 2006, 07:56 AM

Congrats on your first horse, Dante looks lovely :)

Est

21st Mar 2006, 08:44 AM

Very handsome boy :D Congratulations! Yes, it is terrifying. After I bought my first horse, the transporter got her off the lorry and handed me the lead rope, and I remember just standing there thinking, :eek: The transporter said, "She's a lovely girl and I fed her a digestive biscuit (!) on the way, hope that's okay!" And I thought, What are you asking me for?! :eek: Cos she's *my* horse!!
It took several weeks for me to feel that I actually owned her. It will be quite overwhelming at first, but also really good fun. Why not keep a diary with photos of your first months together? You forget so many little details otherwise and it's lovely to look back on :)

ANN H

21st Mar 2006, 08:49 AM

Its completely daunting at first, but becomes a way of life after a while. You're lucky to have the one thing most of us crave - the elusive CONFIDENCE!!

HorsieLuver

21st Mar 2006, 11:18 AM

haha thanks guys, for replying!!
ANN H , believe me, the elusive confidence? Not happening!!! BUt I'm working on it. :rolleyes:
Est thats a wonderful idea! Thank you!!:D
Tehiti_Horse and worldtravel: you will get a horse someday!! but as I'm learning, it's not all fun and games...so make sure you're emotionally and fincially ready lol! :cool:

Thank you everyone!

*Sez*

21st Mar 2006, 11:24 AM

This is actually a medical condition :D In the same way that many women suffer post-natal depression, many horse owners suffer Post-purchase depression. I have recently spent a lot of time convincing a friend that she doesn't actually hate her horse and hasn't made a huge mistake - she's still getting to know him and he will play up at every opportunity. I think every new owner I've met has felt like this for the first couple of months.

*carrie*

21st Mar 2006, 11:31 AM

You are certainly not alone. I bought my first horse at the end of feb and I was so worried that I had made a mistake but then I went to the yard and played with her for a bit and everything just felt so "right". I have never bonded with a horse as much as I have with Carrie.
She can be a bit of a handful but I seem to understand why she does these things.
Give it some time and see how you get on. Just enjoy your time together and get to know each other. Especially as the nights are getting lighter there is more time to do things.

Good luck

http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b53/SE3512/100_0106.jpg

Kazzie

21st Mar 2006, 11:51 AM

Hi, I bought my first horse last October and would agree with Grace that its very much like having a first child. I couldn't sleep for days with excitement on the run up to William arriving and then couldn't sleep for days for worry that I'd done the right thing! Now though I wouldn't change things for the world... I love our boys to bits - my partner bought his first horse in February this year.

I'd take things at your own pace - enjoy your horse, he's beautiful.

Kaz

Guest

21st Mar 2006, 12:19 PM

I tell you something I have just bought my second horse after things didn't work out with the first one. I have about 2% confidence at the moment even though Bryony is a sweetie.
It's so terrifying not knowing a horse, at least with Grady I knew he was a little s*d so I knew what to expect, yesterday whilst out hacking when Bryony starting playing up and I was asking her forward I didn't have a clue what she might do - with Grady I knew he might buck, spin, walk backwards, bounce or all of them :eek: but somehow knowing what the worst they'll do even if it's that bad is better than not knowing at all.
Hopefully the uncertain feeling won't last forever!!

vimto92

21st Mar 2006, 04:04 PM

Aww! Congratualtions on your first horse!:D

Dante is stunning, really handsome and looks forgiving like you said.;)

Don't worry - of course you aren't alone. I'm bound to feel the same way when I buy/recieve my first horse.:o

Well anyway glad you are having fun on him already...even though you are going through some stress about the matter and good luck and best wishes.

Vic x

notpoodle

21st Mar 2006, 04:09 PM

i know the feeling! its called PANIC :D i got that as well when i got mine ... i freaked a bit when all the responsibility etc suddenly hit me. but fear not, it WILL pass :)

have fun with the horsey :)

LMS

21st Mar 2006, 04:17 PM

Dante is absolutly stunning!
Congratulation my dear!:D

wanabe

21st Mar 2006, 05:02 PM

After I bought my first horse, the transporter got her off the lorry and handed me the lead rope, and I remember just standing there thinking, :eek: The transporter said, "She's a lovely girl and I fed her a digestive biscuit (!) on the way, hope that's okay!" And I thought, What are you asking me for?!

:D :D

HairyCob

21st Mar 2006, 05:08 PM

Another vote for 'you're completely normal'!

Only sorry to have to tell you this, but it's no different when it's your second horse- Dolly is my second one as an adult, and if anything I'm even more terrified this time round...what if she's not 'the one', what if I do something to hurt/frighten/confuse her... what if, what if, what if.

Just turn it round- what if this horse and I were absolutely meant to be together and I hadn't bought it?

What if s/he is perfect for me?

What if s/he is happy and well loved and well looked after by me?

What if this is the best thing I have ever done?

Dante is gorgeous, and I'm sure your initial nerves and 'second thoughts' will pass- mine are just beginning to- I've had her six weeks!

Stella2

21st Mar 2006, 05:18 PM

As the others have said, this is quite normal and the doubts and teething troubles go on for a while. Even after the OMG what have I done? :eek: developing a relationship with a horse is like developing a marriage, an amazingly bigger deal that developing a relationship with a dog, cat etc!

Just take your time :)

HorsieLuver

27th Mar 2006, 04:06 PM

An update!!

I cannot believe it...I have fallen head over heels...:rolleyes: I am in love....and the thing is...he needs so much work...but I just can't wait to get back out to my stable and ride!!! :)

Imagine that...

anyways, I figured I'd let you know how big my heart swells everytime I see him....I am such a happier person since taking the plunge....

So if you're sitting on the fence about buying a horse...just do it...if you're anything like me...It'll be worth every single penny :D

More on Dante later....

Daneva

28th Mar 2006, 02:05 PM

Our horse is arriving on the 8th April.
I/we have spent the last eight years wondering whether we should buy a horse. I/we finally decided that if we didn't take the plunge we might never do it and then would reach retirement looking back and wishing for what should have been. I am fully expecting the; what have i done/new baby phase, but what the heck life is too short, its a dream I've always had and for my son in more recent years so why not (of course it also helps that I have now returned to work to pay for the up keep)

We are all (husband and daughter included) excited and nervous as the day gets closer.

Ginger Thing

28th Mar 2006, 02:27 PM

Well, at the very worst, if horse ownership does become overwhelming you can sell a horse - I'm in awe of people who take the plunge and have babies! Now that's scary!

Although I have no time and no money, one little advert in Horse & Hound and my life could revert to pre-Thomas days, but if he was a child......:eek:

Not that I would change my life if I could - I waited 26 years for this!

You will have so much enjoyment from your horse, he looks lovely!

Good luck!

Trewsers

28th Mar 2006, 02:38 PM

Congrats on your first horse! Its a HUGE thing - its normal to feel overwhelmed, OH and I sat on our settee the evening we brought Joe home thinking "eek, what have we done"!!! Its great tho, once you get into a routine (which comes so naturally after a while) - it takes a while to really start enjoying riding them (well it did for us as we had some settling in issues;) ). Good luck! Enjoy! don't panic - read / learn as much as you can - ask lots of advice - (don't necessarily take it all on board tho):D

sidesaddlelady1

1st Apr 2006, 01:40 PM

Hey all! I have come to you to ask for some guidance...

I have just bought my first horse. But there's a problem...I'm having second thoughts! I'm thinking it's the idea of the responsbility and obligation...but I was just wondering if anyone else felt this way after purchasing their first?

BTW....he's a total sweetie...I really like him and get on with him well.
And you didn't think about responsibility and obligation BEFORE you bought this poor animal?

I'm sorry, I realise you want us to be nice to you and give you (((hugs))) and say "Poor you" but this is just the attitude to equines that fills the rescue centres. How dare you do this to a living creature! He isn't a sofa that you can chuck out because the colour doesn't quite suit you. It's to be hoped you don't ever develop a similar fad to have a child.

And yes, I am really, really angry with you! And no, I don't give a damn if you and anyone else round here thinks I'm unreasonable! And Mods, you can block me if you want to, it won't make a scrap of difference to my attitude,

stormandsummer

1st Apr 2006, 01:54 PM

:eek: sidesaddle if you have read all the replies and a further update you will see that she was just anxious and as many have said experiencing normal nerves re ownership and clearly shows that she does know the full resposible attitude to owning a horse, she did not mention about selling this horse, or giving it away, she showed nothing but compassion and thought about her new horse and in my opnion was looking for support as she received from many others who felt the same way after they bought a horse.

I am sure if you has read the update then you would not be so angry :rolleyes:

stormandsummer

1st Apr 2006, 01:55 PM

sidesaddlelady1

1st Apr 2006, 02:23 PM

phyzelda

1st Apr 2006, 02:24 PM

Congratulations!!

c2b

1st Apr 2006, 02:34 PM

I too went through the OMG thing. I HAD thought about the responsibilities, looked after another horse for a year to get a feel of the realities of life with a horse, had an army of experienced people just a phone call (in one case a stable) away, made arrangements with the previous owner just in case she turned into the horse from hell. In fact I tried to cover every possible situation. I still went into panic mode. Lasted about 2 weeks for me. Now ...... well like a new mother there isn't another horse in the world as wonderful as mine. Honest I am not biased :D . My friend who sat and listened and convinced me to not give up before a year was up was right. She has kept horses for over 30yrs and STILL PANICS when she buys a new horse.

Alice25

1st Apr 2006, 02:48 PM

I went through the whole "Aarrghh what am I doing? I'm not ready for this!" as well, especially as I was keeping Alfie at home. Thankfully there are wonderful horsey people around who are always there to lend a hand, give me advice on bedding, etc.

I still do have the OMG moments - I don't know if they ever quite go away. For example last year when Alfie cut his leg, I literally froze for several minutes unable to think logically about what to do (and the cut was only about 2cm :o ). And sometimes I get mind blanks - last week when I went to catch Alfie I realised I had completely forgotten how to put a headcollor on :eek: Alfie was not impressed.

Anyway, really glad to read the update, sounds like you've definitely found "the one". Look forward to hearing more about your gorgeous boy :)

shannonbeau

1st Apr 2006, 08:00 PM

i just bought my first horse too! i definately know how you feel! lol, but i think it will be good, once all the worry goes away and its just fun!

HorsieLuver

6th Apr 2006, 02:28 AM

First of all, I like to send a whole bunch of hugs and thank yous to everyone for their support, especially stormandsummer for fighting my battle.

But, I would like to say sidesaddlelady1 has a point.

But I can only understand her fury to a certain degree. But the thing is, we are only human. Of course there is going to be insecurity! Somedays we have trouble taking care of ourselves, let alone an animal who is dependent on us. I know what I got myself into, and I accept the challenge and the responsiblity. Dante means alot to me.

My friend was telling me about a well - known bible story. It was when some townspeople took a woman who committed adultery to Jesus and said that she needed to be stoned. He told them, he who has not committed a sin may throw the first stone. And nobody moved.

I see where you came from, sidesaddlelady1, so please see I am. I don't think it's fair for you to be so quick to judge if it's possible you cannot say you have never had a second thought in your life.

Now, I don't know you in real life. We'd probably find each other extremely different from these virtual selves. But if you knew me, you'd find that horses are my life, and I would never EVER throw one out like a sofa, as you put it.
I am a person who wants to save all those poor horses that end up in rescue centers. I want to be an equine vet so I can save these equine's lives.

It's been 3 weeks, I still wonder if I made the right move. But when I look into his eyes, it always hits me that I have. And that, makes it worth every penny.

We will have our ups and downs, the high roads and the potholes, the good and the bad....but that won't change a thing. I may still have thoughts, but thoughts are not nessicairly actions. I just wanted you to know that.

So once again THANK YOU everyone for their wonderful support. I'd put you all individually up here to be reconginized but I think this post is long enough. :rolleyes:

And especially, congrats to shannonbeau who also just bought her first horse, and also to Daneva who's horse is arriving soon!! :)

stormandsummer

6th Apr 2006, 04:29 AM

Thank you for the update, it is nice to know that your nerves have calmed down and the initial shock of being a proud mommy has now passed :D

I think it was your honesty that maybe some people objected too, many people do not openly display their emotions ( only at the far end of emotions ie elation and anger ) and like you said this being virtual world it is very difficult to know the true person behind the words. I admire you for giving an honest view on horse ownership and your obviously not alone in your thoughts, going by all the support you had on here.

I know many will agree that owning a horse is a huge resposibilty and commitment and may be someone in your position may well have re-sold the horse in the first few weeks having regreted the decision but by you having been so honest just may be people will see that it is perfectly normal to experience such emotions and work through the first part of horse ownership and go on to have many happy years of being a horse owner.

I look forward to hearing how things develope for you, Good luck and relax and enjoy your horse :D

Bay Mare

6th Apr 2006, 05:27 AM

I have to agree with Sidesaddle to a point, my first reaction was "why the hell didn't you think about the responsibilities and implications to start with?".

I'm glad that it's working out for you, though, and those first few weeks, even months, can be very scary especially if you didn't really know what you were letting yourself in for.

I'd worked with horses in my spare time so I KNEW the responsibilities that came with it but it still came as a huge shock to me. I never regretted it for one minute, though, even through the darkest hours of the Pasture Mix Episode :eek:

Hopefully your original post will make others think very carefully before taking the plunge :)

Good luck to you, I hope that it all works out.

HorsieLuver

6th Apr 2006, 06:42 PM

I don't know if this will perhaps help it so people don't judge me as much :rolleyes:

I am 15 years old, as of 3 weeks ago when I bought Dante. (best birthday present ever!) I should've have put this in my first post, but I didn't realize it would cause such a stir!

The reason I was feeling overwhelmed is because I was thinking of all the money I have to put out, and, believe me, it's a lot for a teen. I was the one who bought Dante. I saved up and bought him. It was a condition my parents held to. And also, they pay for half the board and and I pay the other half. Tack is my responsiblity too.

I don't know if this changes anyone's views, and I'm sorry for wasting anyones time. :)

Perhaps, you will see this no differently, younger or not, I just feel I should've specified. :( Again, sorry everyone.

Libbyo

6th Apr 2006, 07:07 PM

Congratulations and I hope it all goes well for you both.

Every one about to enbark on something as huge as buying a new horse/pony will have those feelings of self doupt, but most dont express them aloud.

When I bought Pinnochio in December I didnt realise what a life changer it was. Equally when I had my son 22 years ago I had no idea. I do remember those thoughts of Can I do this though!

Well for me its worth it. Pinnochio has given me so much, and I believe I have given to him equally. We enjoy each others company.

You have so much joy to come, some tears and frustration too. BUt Good luck. Enjoy. Have fun.

Libbyo :)

horseyrose

6th Apr 2006, 10:08 PM

Congratulations on your new horse! Hope you have loads of fun together!

I do see what you are saying sidesaddlelady1 but I think your post is a bit extreme! I don't know the original poster but haven't read anything that suggests that she doesn't know how to care for a horse or that she was considering getting rid of it! I think she was just feeling nervous at the prospect of taking on such a huge responsibility. There can't be many people that breezed through the first few weeks/months of ownership, it is very daunting! I personally would be more worried if she was blase about the whole thing.

bexj

7th Apr 2006, 12:39 AM

Congratulations, and I am glad that you are feelong happier about the whole thing now:D It is daunting and exciting, whether you are 15 or 35, as I was when I got my horse. You will, guaranteed, go through the downs, but you will also have the incredible "ups" too, and that is what makes it so worthwhile. Go for it girl, and don't forget you have the help and support of a friendly forum to share it all with.:D :D I've had my mare nearly 3 years, and I still gaze at her incredulously, thinking it can't all be true:D :D

fatflamingo

16th Apr 2006, 10:13 AM

what a beautiful horse, dont be having second thought that will douse you confidence really wishing you hadnt got him!!!:)

Dummer&Drummer

21st Apr 2006, 11:37 AM

your feelings are perfectly NORMAL :) congratulations and ..........dont justify your post, it was fine :)

you have decided to share you life with something bigger and stronger than you weighing in at 500kilos +, look after it and love it, personality still unknown to you or him and you want to sit on his back and learn to trust him with your life and vice versa ;) horses are big animals and along with the fact that you will have no money ever and your whole life is going to change in the name of love....who would not be nervous ;)

good luck x