The Holy Grail

[HeatherD]

Yep folks it's cantering again. Hi, I'm from New Zealand and like so many others of you (I have been reading most of the afternoon when I should be working!) I have just started to learn to ride at the ripe old age of 31! (My sister started a web site in NZ for new riders also as there is nothing available there either. Fine if you start as a child in Pony Club, but forgotten if your're older. We're at www.homestead.com/nzhorses/) (http://www.homestead.com/nzhorses/))
Anyway enough waffling I need help!!! I have never been a confident rider - nervous as hell when I first got on my horse for the first lesson thinking "God this is high!" In the first lesson however we were sitting to trot with the instructor convinced my sister and I had ridden before we had such good seats! This is the problem for me. I had been told from the start I have a good natural seat and sit like a sergeant major, perhaps leaning back a little too far and therefore would be good at the canter. Three falls later, one particularly bad into the metal iron railing that encloses the arena. (I had it's imprint from my left shoulder to my butt for over 6 weeks.) Poor Dommie will be getting a complex as each time it is off of him,and he looks sooo upset each time I come off. The first time bounced off, others just trotting very fast, and then cantering alright but no control until he went round the corner and I didn't!
So we gave it a rest for a while and concentrated on trotting and I was feeling really good. Even managing to stay on after a little forward mishap leaping over trotting poles instead of trotting. I had not previously had any problems sitting trot, infact I spent forever trying to rise trot. I liked it in the saddle! Now things have changed however. I have gotten myself into a state over it. I feel bouncy in the sitting trot even when eveyone says I'm not out of the saddle at all and my position is perfect. I feel mirrors would be a great idea so we can SEE what instructors are talking about. Just a suggestion. We have taken photos and that helps. Anyway, Christmas came and went, had a break and still not cantering. I wanted to have another go at cantering as I was by this time obsessing about it just befor Christmas, but the instructor wouldn't let me. The same fill in that had told me it was impossible to come off at the canter and no one in her class ever had. This was the spectacular FENCE evening! She couldn't say that again! So now what little confidence I did have is shattered. My hands are sweating now just thinking about it. I have dreams about it, I read about it! I'm reading Mark Todd for inspiration and it's not helping. (Especially as every now and then it's got people who have died horseriding!)
Heather I have read all you info. which is all well and good until I get on the horse! My mind goes blank, the nerves take control and I start to panic which of course the horse picks up as well. I feel as if I'm never going to get there. I cannot spend my life trotting around an arena!
HELP. My confidence, what little I had is gone, and the whole build up to the canter in the 20 metre circle is tensing me out majorly. I've had to miss other lessons as I managed to twist my ankles so badly I can hardly walk, so that has delayed things even more and making the delay to the next lesson even worse. My sister is merely trotting and cantering with ease. Though even she says it's still bouncy.
I think it's the whole bounce factor. I'm not small, and feel like I've got two sugar sacks (even in the highest intensity sports bra)bouncing round uncontolled in front of me. I know I just have to DO IT and I'm thinking way too much prior. So reassurance is needed.
Also I am coming to England in March, any suggestions for good schools in Central London, Hertfordshire. Patient good schools hopefully.

thanks, H

[fran]

Hi HeatherD...really sorry to hear about your falls, and hope you're not feeling too sore. There's lots of good advice about cantering in people's replies to Kimberley's post but I just wanted to say I know how you feel! It took me ages to stop being scared of canter,and I used to fly off into a panic at the very thought of it. I can remember going through lessons getting more and more nervous thinking, oh god, I'm going to be asked to canter...I found that what was happening was that the more nervous I got, the more my body was wanting to curl up into a ball (the good old fatal croach) which, of course, was exactly the opposite of what my body should be doing. I found it helpful to really think consciously of stretching my legs down and becoming longer. Even then it took me ages to be able to canter without immedialtly losing my stirrups. The other thing I found tough (and still do) is the transitions into and out of canter - for me this was the bounciest bit, and the time when I most felt I was going to come off. I realised what I was most afraid of was not the canter but the trotting afterwards when I slithered around like crazy. I think the best single piece of help I ever had (although it certainly didn't feel like it at the time) was when I was out riding in Hyde Park, and my then instuctor was getting me to do some walk and trot without stirrups. Suddenly she said, very calmly, 'Okay, into canter.' MAJOR panic. Canter with no stirrups???? It was like one of those major life decisions: either give it a go and see if I could do it or say no and postpone the terror for another day. In the end I cantered off, and to my amazement stayed on. And found that cantering without stirrups was easy than with! I nearly came off when I went back to trot but somehow stayed put. This really helped my confidence, although I still got pretty scared at times. Individual lessons really helped on that front.
fran

[Kiwismum]

Hi Heather, I'm from NZ as well. I read your sister page a while back, and if I remember rightly you and your sister were learning to ride at Fruitfields. My daughter started there in 1998 and last year we changed her to a different place as we felt she was not progressing there. Don't get me wrong I am sure that they have some very good horses and instructors, but not everyone makes a good teacher.
Anyway she is now going to a woman who charges a bit more but spends a lot of time ensuring that you have the right position and doesn't push you into anything before you are ready. My daughter has come on really well there and after watching her style of teaching I even went back after 20+ years of not riding and had some lessons.

I am not suggesting for a minute that you should change as only you can decide that, but since I know what Fruitfields leaching style is like I would just like to say that maybe it might help to get a few lessons somewhere else and see if a different style of teaching would help. It doesn't sound like your instructors there are doing much to solve th problem.

[HeatherD]

Thanks to Fran and Kiwimum for your words. Not sure if I'll be able to go for a lesson on Friday because of my ankle - lovely yellow and blue, but I want to canter now. I go through those changes, panic through to calm determination. So thanks.

Fran you said you ride in Hyde Park? Is that at the school there that cost about 25 pounds a lesson? I'm coming to London mid March and was planning to take some lessons if I could afford it and get there from wherever I will be staying, once I've decided what to do with my life. I take it they're good since you go there? I think cantering without stirrups might be a go, as making my legs longer might be more productive.

Kiwimum I know what you mean about the school, it can be a little frustrating not knowing what instructor or horse I get when we go. But our latest Emma is really good. A bit older, told us stories of her throwing up from nerves so that made me feel a little better.

thanks again guys, I'll let you know how it goes.
H

[fran]

Good luck with the lesson on Friday, and do let us know how it goes. Your poor ankle. So you'll be in London soon! I've recently found a great riding school on the outskirts of London, at Trent Park. Good teaching and really great horses - responsive to light aids and forgiving of me struggling to learn (the horses, that is). Cost is about £25 for lessons. There are actually two stables very close to Hyde Park, but both concentrate on hacks in the park or teaching children, so I opted for pastures new. But it's great to have at least one ride in the park and a canter up the main bridle way. (Yes, you will be cantering by then!) Do get in contact when you hit London...
all the best for Friday :)
fran

[Patricia Hodges]

HeatherD: GIVE YOURSELF TIME!!! If you fell really badly you would completely lose confidence. It doesn't matter how long it takes but it seems to me you're in too much of a rush and that is why you're getting into a panic. I was the same.......I learnt to ride at 46 years old and it was difficult, canter was particularly difficult and I got into a muddle about the whole thing UNTIL I stopped trying too hard and let my body relax and LEARN the movement of the horse; it took a while but I got there, I've never fallen off and now I even gallop BUT it takes time, some people take longer than others, you must not compare yourself with your sister or anyone else, that's my advice and I hope it doesn't sound too bossy! An excellent riding school in Hertfordshire is CONTESSA riding centre. Also Heather Moffett's courses in Devon are excellent particularly as you can learn sitting trot and canter without fear on her EQUISIMULATORS! Keep at it despite your age, this morning I went out on a long muddy hack on my own on a lovely hunting horse I hire sometimes and I thought it all worth it.

[HeatherD]

Hi Fran and Patricia,

Thanks very much for the info about places to learn in and around London/Herfordshire. Excellent. Yes Fran I would like to keep in touch, to know a fellow learner when I get to England.

I didn't get to my lesson as the poor old foot is still struggling to recover, but am determind to go this weekend. Have learn't we have yet another new instructor. Shame.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to my sister, but it's very hard when she's now tearing around cantering without stirrups and I think why can't I get it! Am feeling a lot better emotionally, I know I can do it if I relax. A lot has to do with your mind, more than you think at first I feel.

Will let you know how it goes, and thanks very much for all your support.

Heather

[Kecia]

Hi Heather. You've had a rough time by the sounds of it. One thing first, don't compare yourself with anyone else. Everyone is different and everyone learns at different speeds.
The main thing is that it should be fun and it doesn't sound like you're having much fun. Cantering can be great but you can get hung up on it. The most important thing is to relax but you need to be confident first that you won't come off! I would suggest that you get your instructor to lunge you & the horse. She can control the horse and you can concentrate on your position and getting used to the movement. Are you leaning forward because that will cause you to become unbalanced. It's better to lean back than forward. Make sure your shoulders are back, one of the other posts said pretend you're Dolly Parton and that is so true. it works for me. But do try the lunge, you need to build your confidence up first before going it alone. It may take a while but you sound determined, so stick in there and take it gradually and try to relax! Easier said than done, I know!!

[Maisie]

I posted a reply on one of the other posts, and you can go look at it, but if you have any problem with canter transitions, I've got some advice.
The most important thing is for you to advance you inside seatbone when you want to canter. This automatically takes care of your lower legs and it's very efficient! Good luck! (P.S. Be patient and don't compare yourself with others!)

[HeatherD]

Hi everyone,

You'll be pleased to know I did manage to go to my lesson on Friday, but took it easy as my right ankle still can't take all my weight. So a did a fair amount of walking and sitting trot and standing around which 'Cheekie' thought was great!

Will wait till my ankle is a bit better before attempting to canter again. I was quite nervous not having been for 3 weeks, but once up on the horse quite relaxed. Whether this was because I knew I wasn't going to canter and the pressure was off I'm not sure. Probably.

Thanks for all your tips, will now just have to take time to put it into practise.

thanks, H :)

[Nicola]

Hi HeatherD,
I hope you're ankle/foot is feeling a lot better now. How are you going with your cantering?

I am also in NZ in the Wellington area. Where are you?
N

[HeatherD]

Hi,

Well I have been off lessons for a while. Ankles weren't quite right, and now I've been ill and off to the chiropractor. So I'll now wait until I'm in England to take up instruction there. Fly out on the 18th March, so will hopefully meet some of you people.


Nicola, my sister and I are in Auckland. Though you can see from the above, not for long for me. But my sister has a web page for NZ riders starting out late in life - homestead.com/nzhorses if you want to check it out.

thanks again, and will pop in for a look when I'm in the UK.

cheers, H

PS love the new look homepage!