Came last :(

[raingodz]

Several months ago I said in one of my NR posts that I was happy in a competition as long as I did not come last, well last night we had a competition and I came last :(

I was on Connor again (sorry still no photos). Connor is 14hh 5yo chestnut/roan medium weight something or other with a white face, and he does quite a good Elvis impression too. He came to the RS as a buy one get one (unexpectidly) free, so he has been there his whole life.

Back to last night, basically I just rode really badly. For this competition we were asked to do various things and we got maked on how well we did them. Looking on the positive side it does give me a huge list of things I need to work on.

Task 1: we all went on a 20m circle and had our position judged (in walk and trot). I was maked down for not being relaxed enough in my back and for having me legs too far forward with toes not pointing forward enough.

Task 2: with out stirups, start at K in walk, transition to trot at E, canter between H and C, canter a 20m circle from C, trot at M and walk at B. I was maked down for trotting too late at E, poor transition to canter, badly shaped 20m circle, dropping back to trot twice on the 20m circle.

Task 3: turn on the for hand. I was maked doen for not keeping my horse stationary while waiting for my turn, getting too much bend and basically walking a very small circle rather than doing a turn on the forehand.

Task 4: leg yeald. I was marked down for not getting enough bend and letting the horse fall in to the inside sholder.

Result... last place :(

This was not my usual RI, it was an RI I had a few lessons with in February and she must have thought I havn't improved at all since then :(

sometimes I think I must be a really frustrating person to teach, I cirtainly felt very frustrated and annoyed with my performance last night. I think I should be able to do better than this since the last 3 competitions I have come 3rd, 1st and 2nd, so I should be better than this, but I am not. And it doesn't matter what I think I should be able to do, what matters is what I do do, or more to lasts nights effort, what I don't do.

There are several things that concern me about last night, firstly riding should be about enjoying riding what ever, not about doing well in competitions that you think you should do well in and at the end of the day it is the taking part that matters - but I still ended up feeling rubbish last night. I could blame it on the fact that I find Connor a hard horse to ride, but, as OH pointed out, I am learning to ride horses, not to ride a specific horse and so the RS should put me on the horse I find hardest to ride and then I will improve in the long term. Which does seem to be what is happening since I have had this horse 3 times out of the last 4 lessons and I am probably improving.

So, I will not be giving up or anything silly like that, I did that as a teenager, and it solves nothing. I just need to regroup and try again - probably involves eating fish and chips for lunch today :rolleyes:

Sorry for this post, it must be a bit of a disappointing read considering how well I have felt I been doing in June. As you all know, I regulerly post after my lessons, and almost did not this week, but this is what learning to ride is about, and it would be unfair for me to make out that it is always a good experience. I have now been taking lessons at my current RS for 10 months (infact 10 months today) and I know that I have improved so much in that time, but a lesson like this helps to remind me that I still have so much to learn and that I am still very much a beginner.

[RustyMary]

raingodz don't be despondent, you have been doing so well that this is just a small blip I'm sure, and as you say it gives you lots of pointers to work on. I've had a little plateau in my lessons at the moment and it's so depressing as I was coming on in leaps and bounds (well, canters and trots anyway :D ) over a few lessons. But I used to work in child development (speech therapy) and children and adults learn in little rushes - a big step forward, then a period of consolidation and practice before the next big step - it will be round the corner for you for sure! And hopefully for me too :)

[Mehitabel]

we've all got a lot to learn. i've been riding for 23 years and i still have days where i can't do a half-decent walk-halt transition.
it is often frustrating, progress is never in a straightforward upwards curve. and while in our heads we may know that 'it's about the taking part, the enjoyment' and all that - nobody likes being last.

so have your shout, feel rubbish, and then put it behind you and aim to build on it. try to compare yourself to yourself a month ago, rather than other people - they may be having a spectacularly good day, or have a remarkably cooperative horse, while you may be having a shocker.

[Tots N Dots]

There are several things that concern me about last night, firstly riding should be about enjoying riding what ever, not about doing well in competitions that you think you should do well in and at the end of the day it is the taking part that matters - but I still ended up feeling rubbish last night. I could blame it on the fact that I find Connor a hard horse to ride, but, as OH pointed out, I am learning to ride horses, not to ride a specific horse and so the RS should put me on the horse I find hardest to ride and then I will improve in the long term. Which does seem to be what is happening since I have had this horse 3 times out of the last 4 lessons and I am probably improving.

its not dissapointing to read, we all have spell when we are "off form" me? sometimes I am plain rubbish! but I think you should listen to OH, in my opinion she is right! and you are also right in what you put above, it is frustrating but you can only learn from your experiences, turn the negatives into positives :D right have preached all that I am off to try and practice what I preach :rolleyes: I know I know easier said than done half the time :p

[Trewsers]

Don't be too hard on yourself!:p Sorry to hear it didn't go as well as you'd have liked, but hey, its a HUGE learning curve isn't it?! yeah yeah, bla bla, go eat your fish and chip lunch and you'll feel better:D :D Me, I prefer a huge hot beef and onion sandwich, works wonder for bruised horse ego.......:D

[raingodz]

Thanks everyone :) am feeling better.

Next lesson is on Saturday, I think we might be doing more XC work if it isn't too hot.

I have never been good at coping with failing at things, I used to play alot of tennis when I was a kid, my coach put me in for my first competition and I came last, so I gave up playing tennis compleatly. I used to play the flute, I failed my grade 5 and gave up. I have failed many school exams and gave up hope of academic success. But I am older now and I am beginning to try things again, I have now passed my GCSE English (last year) with an A and I am trying riding again afer giving that up and do realise the error of my ways in giving things up like that, but failing still scares me.

I do not want fail my riding this time, so I will always try and find the positive, it was just a bit of a shock to have been doing so well and then... well... errr.... not.

Anyway, the sun is shining and the birds are singing, etc, etc.....

[raingodz]

Actually, looking back at last night, the worst thing that happened was I was bitten on the elbow by a horse fly :(

[Yann]

As everyone else says, don't be downhearted. Chances are on a different horse you'd have come first, the thing that's sometimes hard to get your head around is that it's just as much down to the horse as you sometimes. I can sometimes ask for things on Rio in the school and they just don't happen. I do exactly the same thing on Tess and it does, beautifully:D You're not suddenly a rubbish rider who's made no progress :)

[Tots N Dots]

but failing still scares me.
:eek:
you dont fail. you just find another way not to do something, and learn how to not do it next time, :D umm does that make sense? umm time to take my tablets again :D

[Lace]

Honestly, don't worry about it. It happens to us all and we all still have bad days (even the professionals). Doesn't mean you're rubbish or can't ride at all - far from it!

I took my horse out at the weekend - did a really simple dressage test and came last too! Made ever so slightly worse that 5/6 year kids did better than me (and I'm 17!) . It was a real shocker of a test too - horse was very wound up and spooky and I don't think we walked once, halt transitions were non existent and we threw in a few very intresting jog-canter-buck-spook-buck-buck transitions thrown in for good measure too!

In the long term you probably learnt more than you would have done if you had won - which is what real progress is about :)

[Ross]

Echo everyone else - don't be downhearted :) It is disappointing not to do as well as you hoped, but that's horses for you - and pretty much everything else, too! I spent the weekend taking photos of seabirds, and the results are disappointing to say the least, especially since the trip before I took some cracking shots - sound like a familiar problem?

Look on the bright side - it'll probably be better next time :)

Ross

[joey_olop]

Aw bless dont despair-you will learn from what you did and it will make you better for next time:)

[raingodz]

OK, You are all right, it will better next lesson.

I have since been for my chips from Northern Sole and a wonder round the botanical gardens (one of Sheffields really nice places).

Before I went out I read through my previouse posts on my lessons and have reached the following conclusions.

Firstly this has not been my first problems lesson, but inbetween these problem lessons there have been some really fantastic lessons, and will be again, so there is pleanty of evidance that you all speak the truth :D

So I got to thinking what causes these confidence wobbles I have, and I think I have to go back to my school life to explain (and I mean explain and not excuse) this behavior.

I am dyslexic, this was not discoverd until relitivly late in my school life (around 12 or 13). This caused me numerous problems at school resulting in at the age of 12 my French teacher refusing to teach me ever again and at the age of 15 me and my english teacher deciding there wasn't much point me doing an more lessons. At the time this seemed so cool, you ask and school kid if they want to stop doing french, especially one how finds it hard, and they would jump at the chance. Again with english, maths and art, I got to a point where the teachers felt they could do nothing with me. I just used to hang around in the music room playing guitar which at the time seemed a cool option (I know all three chords as well! ). I suspect that the school never told my mother, I certainly didn't.

Looking back I am a bit dissapointed in my education and feel that maybe my teachers should have been giving me more work than giving up. But I suspect I was not the easyest child to teach, not because I was disruptive but because I just lacked the ability to overcome my failings and I found it so difficlt to ask for help when I needed it. I did have two very good teachers who got me to get a B in music and C in all three sciences at GCSE, but there was also the teacher who thought he could cure my dyslexia by keeping me in a break times to copy out the dictionary.

So what has this got to do with my riding? Well I have an irrational fear that someone might say that it is pointless me having lessons and I really don't want that to happen and I am sure it won't happen since this is not school, and I know that my current RI would probably be quite upset if she knew a thought like that even entered my head, because she is so supportive of everything I have done while in her lessons.

I hope none of you younger NR people who are still at school have to face problems like these with out the support you deserve, I am told that alot of schools are better trained and have better facilities to help children with learning difficulties.

Just so you all know it isn't all doom and gloom on the education front, I am slowly filling in the my educational gaps with evning classes, currently doing English AS level. And about three years ago I manged to to improve my reading to a point where I can now make it through a novel and read it well enough to enjoy it, but my hand writing, as any one who has seen it will testify, still looks like that of an 8 year old. But as with giving up drinking, some times you have to take each day as it comes.

Sorry, this is probably hugely off topic, but I do feel like I might finaly have worked something out about myself. We shall no doubt see when I have to cope with the next bad lesson.

[NoviceNic]

I agree with what others have said. It isnt that you are failing. Heck I bet you can pick faults with your own riding. I bet you couldnt do that this time last year. I know what I am doing wrong but can I get myself to sort it out. No I cant. But that is what you are having lessons for isnt it. So that someone else can give you their advise and opinion on how to improve your technique. Lets face it you can ride. Blimey you can do more than me and I have been riding 5 yrs and owned my own horse for the last 2 yrs. Oh and as for the RI telling you that you havent improved since last Feb. Well isnt she/he MR/MRS motivator and confidence giver. :rolleyes: They need sacking. :p

Hope we have cheered you up. Keep your chin up chappy and smile. :D

[raingodz]

Oh and as for the RI telling you that you havent improved since last Feb. Well isnt she/he MR/MRS motivator and confidence giver. :rolleyes:
She did not actually say this, sorry if I wrote in a way that seems like she did, this was more my fear of what she might think of me :o

[Crazy Mare]

Hi Raingodz

I hope you enjoyed your chips. It's good to treat yourself sometimes ;)

Ah the ups and downs of learning to ride... After spending months struggling with my canter I now seem to have cracked it and I'm even popping little jumps BUT at the same time I seem to have lost the ability to trot a 20m circle!

I'm sorry to hear that things didn't go as well as you would of liked.

On the positive side you seem to have learned a lot from the experience, not just about your riding but about you and the way you approach things too.

Keep going Raingodz. I always read your posts about your lessons and it sounds like you're a fantastic rider to me.

Best Wishes,

CM

[jenren!!]

There is no failure, only feedback.

All riding has its ups and downs, i can tell you. Dont feel so bad about yourself, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Chin up :)

Jenny xx

[drookitsheep]

As jenren says, there is no failure, only feedback. People can only make you feel like a "failure" if you let them.

Positives

1) You came last - coming last is a positive thing, because it means that the only way is up next time
2) We all have off-days, horses included, and it's normal. It's annoying, but we're not always repaid in proportion to the amount of time we spend practising/amount of effort we put in/however badly we want it.
3) What you "do do" on the day isn't what's important, not really (unless your aim is to win a competition) but in the long term, it's about something different. It's about knowing what you are capable of doing, and having an RI who knows this too.
4) You can play three chords on the guitar. I think we all know a rock band who made quite a success of playing three chords on the guitar... ;)

Chin up and don't let an off day get you down!

[~*sugarlump*~]

i dont think thats a failure at all! well done for actually entering a comp!

dont let it get you down or youll become fixed on failure and never improve.

as my PE teacher says whever we do badly in a match

'Its not the medal (or ribbon!) that counts, its the taking part and holding your head up high that matters'
and
'failure makes you a better sportsmen(or rider!)'

as you can tell, we lost quite a few matches and races, but we always had fun and did our best and thats why we enjoyed it
dont let it get you down, i think youve done remarkably well tbh.

[laura jeanne]

Raingodz, don't be silly! You can only "fail" at riding if you give up and quit. You have proved to yourself by continuing to take academic classes that you can learn and follow through and produce great results.

Besides, Someone always has to be last and you were just taking your turn. :)

[raingodz]

I am looking forward to Saturdays lesson now :)


well done for actually entering a comp!


We have no choice! At the RS I go to we have competitions once a month, then points get awarded (3 for first, 2 for second and 1 for third) and added up and at the end of each quarter the top three point scorers in the RS get a trophy to take home to impress their mum (or at least that is what I will try to do if (or should that be when) I win it). I highest I have got on the leader board was 4th in my first few months their, but since being promoted in to the adults groups things can get a little more competative.

On the whole I enjoy the competitions and I am getting quite good at the jumping ones :) and in the 10 months (and so 10 competitions) I have been their I have won 4 firsts, 1 second and 3 thirds, which I realise is not anything to complain about at all, since that means I have been placed in 8 out of 10... OK, only just done that bit of maths and feeling a hugely embarissed that I was complaining about comming last :o and as Laura says it must have been my turn to come last!

Maybe it is all part of the master plan to help me realise that failure is not the end. I think it is cirtainly one of the things they do well where I ride, I have never seen anyone being put down or ridiculed for not doing well in a competition, and they do choose a wide variety of things for us to do, everything from the usual dressage, jumping and XC to general equine knowledge, general riding (as this one was), gymcana games, or things involving mazes, trotting poles, transitions (like how many times can you do a trot-canter-trot transition in one loop of the menage).

Thanks again everyone, I will try harder next time not do a wet lettuce impresson next time I end up in this situation :o