help with confidence building please!

[hunny]

hi
i dont own my own horse but have dun in the past and am currently lukin 4 a part loan but my boyfriend actslike i am completely incapable n always tries 2 be little me now i have lost all my confidence when i go and try one out but want 2 get it back as i ustu b confident and i think im getting 2 look like i cant do as much as i ustu because of it. any ideas!

[Trewsers]

Don't be offended but I can't read text speak properly! I get the gist tho, so you're looking for a horse and your boyfriend doesn't think you're up to it? He's probably just worried that he'll have to take a back seat! (which he probably will unless he's horsey too). I don't know how old you are but if he's a "casual" boyfriend - ie, not the love of your life, then I'd lean towards finding some horsey pals - and take it from there. How about helping out on a yard - or having regular lessons? You say you've had your own before, but you might be a bit rusty. Good luck whatever you choose!

[nutkin]

You have summed up well that basically the reason behind your loss of confidence is your boyfriend.If he belittles you in ways other than horses then my answer would be dump the boyfriend.No man should ever make you feel that you are bad at something you love.He sounds a bit of a control freak and is either scared that you will love a horse more than him or else he has other fears such as financing your horse or something like that and is hoping to put you off.Either way you need a serious chat with the boyfriend.If he is fine in all other aspects of your relationship and its just around the horse that he belittles you then don't take him along with you when you go to ride them.I would suggest you go and take a couple of lessons with a good instructor to reassure you that you are doing just fine.If you have been out of horses for a while then you are bound to be a bit rusty and a good instructor will help there.It amazes me at the number of riders we get at my yard who have confidence problems due to other problems going on in their life,myself included there in the past.To be a confident rider you need to believe in yourself and having someone around that belittles you in any way is not a good influence on you.

[abbiegirl]

you do not deserve to be belittled by anyone! have you spoken to him about it and told him how he is knocking your confidence? perhaps he does-nt realise you feel like this. you obviously know what you are doing if you have owned horses in the past. if i were you i-d tell him that he is not welcome to see you ride / go to the horses unless he starts encouraging you instead of putting you down all the time. if it doesn-t work then maybe you should substitute your boyfriend for a confidence giving horse!

[hunny]

hi
i took all your advice and told him that he cant come and watch me ride he is a horsey person but thankfully he was put in his place when he got on a friends horse and couldnt get a successfull canter so i gave him a bit of advice and he got there and now he has realised i know more than he thinks. sorry about the text writing its a bad habbit

[georgie1]

Please believe in yourself, I dont know you but your probably a wonderful person and you know your own skill. Have faith in yourself and realise that you make the decisions in your life. Please have the confidence to be the wonderful person you know you are.....AND make some equine friend the happiest horse alive.:)

Gx

[hunny]

hi every1
thanks 4 the advice i have ditched the boyfriend now need to find a horse and start confidence building. any advice on finding one? i have been to see a couple and put a wanted add on mersey horse (www.merseyhorse.com for those who dont know it its a site were u can advatise for loans) but just cant find the rite one the last one i went 2 see took off on me the girl just told me to pull hard on the reins but it wouldnt stop so she ran after it and stood infront of it and it stopped lol any advice on finding one?
thanks

[sara_xx]

are you looking for a loan or buying?
www.horsemart.co.uk is fabby!!
and keep checking on merseyhorse as that gets updated quickly!
Where abouts do you live in merseyside?

[hunny]

hi i live in liverpool childwall area looking for a part loan really thanx 4 the site tho ! xx

[abbiegirl]

i-m sure you will find one eventually! just make sure it is right for you and what you want. hope you didn-t ditch your boyfriend on my advice! :D lol

[hunny]

hi every1

going to see a horse tomorrow cant wait its on my local farm and everything 15.1hh coloured cob only vice is hes a bit lazy but exellant in everythin else i no its a bit silly postin this jus bit excited been waiting for one 2 come up on that farm for ages

[nutkin]

good luck.You sound much happier from the tone of your posts now you have ditched the boyfriend.Good luck with the horse.He sounds just what you need.

[hunny]

will let you know how it goes i am new to this site but i think everyone here is really lovely the way we all help eachother us horsey people should stick together!