Feel totally dispirited

[chocchick]

Had an assessment lesson at a riding school and felt totally dispirited.
The school is highly recommended, has well schooled horses, good tuition, BHS approved and I've been before.
My long background...
I rode for 3-4 years when I was younger, had a 10 year break, had a few lessons (teacher I liked), stopped, had about 2 private lessons at today's school (same teacher as today who I don't like), (lessons were all during working hours but circumstances changed) had a break for maybe a year then pushed myself into a 3 day pony trekking holiday. Really loved the holiday, so booked a lesson, and they said they needed to assess me before finding me a space.

I had to sign a form and the girl said they wanted to thin down adult lessons as they could make more money from children which wasn't a good start. There was a child in our adult lesson as well although she was nice enough.

In the lesson I just wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing. I have forgotten all the riding school terms, don't know where the letters are, couldn't hear half of what she said partly due to not knowing what I expected to hear. The first half was just everyone walking/trotting and eventually cantering on their own and I just got flustered with everyone coming towards me and didn't know whether to stop or whether I should stick to passing on the left as one woman seemed inconsistant with this. If I kept to the track on the outside of the school I hit the fence, and I wasn't sure if I should push on to catch up or cut corners.
I told the instructor I had stiff legs from my riding holiday and she said I was just making excuses.
The 2nd half of the lesson the instructor taught us and we went round as a ride. That was better. I feel like my position is holding me back and I don't have the muscles to do what I want yet. I felt I want someone to show me exactly what to do with my position, legs, seat (that's probably a whole different thread) but she only did a short version and was telling me to use the whip to push the horse on. I'm convinced the horse would move a lot better if I sat properly and it feels almost wrong to use the whip as it is probably me holding the horse back.
I've no idea when the instructor filled in the form and if she is supposed to discuss it or it is just for her. At the end of the lesson we were told to take our saddles off even though I thought I wasn't allowed to do anything because of insurance and they took my horse off me and left me in the yard when the others took their horses to the field next to the yard. I was told to put my saddle in the tack room. Just went off towards the car and the instructor just passed and smiled. No idea what happens with the assessment. Will look into other riding schools now.
The people weren't that friendly, the toilet was a indoor haystack unless I got the wrong end of the stick.The instructor said something that didn't sound friendly to my boyfriend about waiting but he didn't hear what.

Is it just me? Am I not cut out for riding lessons? I'm quite a sensitive person and need quite a gentle approach. There is a tendency for instructors to be very critical and I want to enjoy riding and not be told off for going too slow, especially when I was holding the horse back to avoid another. I know I am out of practice but I just feel really upset now.

Any thoughts?

[Guest]

Find another school hunny.

It doesn't sound like they were very helpful.

A good RI instills confidence in you and gives you feedback.

[bexj]

You should never be left feeling like this after a lesson, so first of all {{hugs}} and secondly, take yourself off to somewhere that will treat you with a bit of respect. If you say where in the country you are, then I'm sure someone on here will be able to recommend somewhere to you. Chin up hun, not everywhere is like that:)

[curlycal]

Echo what Bobbin says.
Have you thought about having private lessons, I know they are more expensive, but you can ask whatever you want and wont feel intimidated by other riders who may be better than you, you will also be able to learn at your own pace.
good luck and I hope you find an RI you like

Cal

[chocchick]

Thanks. Maybe private lessons would be good.
This school is recommended by loads of people, and one of the best in the area but maybe I just don't get on well with it....

[Sparkie]

You need to find a new riding school, where they take some notice of you, and are nicer. I have had a problem with a riding school, where the instructor was constantly making me ride a difficult horse that I was scared of riding, and when I spoke to the YO, she said 'well she won't put you on a horse you can't cope with, so you have to ride it'!! I changed riding school, and now have a much better time, getting to ride ponies I enjoy riding, and getting good lessons!

[izzy18]

Awww... chocchick, that's no fun. Vote with your feet. You're paying them and you should enjoy your lessons. I've tried a few schools over the last couple of years. The one I go to now is brilliant - been going there about six months. Instructors are friendly, we have a real laugh in lessons as well as learning lots, and everyone is really welcoming. No bitchiness, no sniping, no making you feel crap. There are some good places out there - you just have to hunt them down. Don't feel bad - think of it as a learning experience and don't go back. Chin up babes! ;)

[Skib]

Oh dear. Every time I write about the horror of being an adult in the average BHS riding school, I think it will be the last time.

You are not alone.
And though you may not realise it, your post raises some important points.
1. Older people do not learn in the same way as kids. We are cleverer and more articulate. Might seem a disadvantage when you are a beginner being reduced to infancy by an unkind teacher. But believe me it is a gift later on. Horses are much stronger physically than we are, so how well you control and ride them depends on intelligence.

2. Older people dont hear well so half the time in a big school lesson we dont know what we are supposed to be doing. or just hope we have it right. This uncertainty feeds through to the horse. Which needs clear instructions.

3. Traffic rules in a big school arena with many learners are complex and confusing. yes you pass with left sides together. But only if you are in the same gait. If one of you is cantering or trotting, the faster moving horse takes precedence on the outside track. So the weakest slowest student is always having to concede to the better riders and vacate the track. Even though you have paid as much for the lesson.

And paying for a private lesson will not necessarily get you sole use of a school. Two lessons may be taking place at once. If someone is simply riding in a school and someone else is having a lesson, the lesson is supposed to take priority. But my sad experience was that this was not always so.

4. You were told to use the whip. For me this used to be a major problem. Some school horses dont pay attention to the leg. And it is bad to kick them. So one is told to use the whip. One then feels bad. I feel that my leg is weak and the horse suffers for that reason. But the fact is that the whip is not a punishment. It is a substitute for your leg. Using it just once may remind a school horse it is supposed to be doing as you say. I am an oap (hate to admit it) but I have nver used the whip more than once on any hack or lesson.
if you are told to use the whip, (which happens even with the best and nicest teachers) next time, I would obey. gently. But if you have forgotten how to use a whip, I would get the instructor to refresh your memory. Different schools and different teachers like it used in different ways.

You dont say where in the UK you are, but I strongly suggest finding another school, preferably visiting more than one place and choosing a teacher you like. The BHS advise anyone to watch a teacher at work. But remember you are free to chop and change teachers, to leave the school and then return e.g. if you are looking for advanced tuition in any of the disciplines.

I too suffered (and I was not the only one) at the "best" BHS local riding. I felt like a slum child sent to Eton. It is better to be happy learning to ride. I hope that you will be and that you will not give up the idea of riding again. What has happened to you is not unusual and you are not to blame.

PS If the treatment you had amounted to bullying, you should write about it to the BHS.

[Bay Mare]

Find another instructor and probably find another school. There's no reason that you should have to put up with that kind of attitude and you'll probably find that you don't progress as well somewhere like that anywhere.

If you're happy to tell us which area you're in I'm sure that someone will be able to recommend a school for you to go to.

It's not you, it's definitely them!

[chocchick]

I'm in Sheffield. Forget I don't have that in my signature here...

Thanks for the various bits of advice and comments.
There was enough room in the school with only 4 of us. She wasn't bullying me, in fact it would have been nice to have been told more.....
The first instructor was really nice when I had 1 or 2 lessons with her and 2 friends I brought along. It's the instructor today and people in the yard today that I seem to clash with. Maybe it was partly the end of Friday feeling in all of us :rolleyes:

[loulou1972]

chocchick I feel for you take your money and go somewhere else. I don't give a stuff if they are supposed to be a good riding school, well a good RI will not patronize you or bully you. I have just taken it all up again and I'm 34 my instructor knows I'm one of those people that thinks, so she always explains in detail what she wants me to do and is the most Patience person I know. Good Instructors always come by word of mouth, talk to people who ride and find out where they go and try them.

Good luck and chin up, my fitness lets me down and god my knee's kill sometimes...:p

[neen]

Was everyone in the lesson being assessed together? I've never heard of a group assessment lesson before (admittedly my experience with riding schools is limited)

In the last couple of weeks I've had my first group lessons for nearly 20 years, and they are pretty scary things. But I know the RI well and I know the horses, from having had private lessons there and from watching other lessons, which helps. There is a huge difference in the amount of personal instruction you get in a group lesson -- a lot of the time, you're kind of on your own. Sounds like private lessons might be a good idea to get you into the swing of things again.

(Must admit, I still don't know where most of the letters are -- instructions tend to be followed by my looking frantically around the school to find out where I'm meant to be headed next :o )

[Pink's lady]

Going somewhere else often isn't an option, so if there isn't anything else suitable, you'll have to face it head on.

To be honest it just sounds like you were in over your head - either that was their fault for putting you in a lesson that was too advanced or or you gave them the impression you were more experinced. From what you've said (couple years riding quite a few years ago) you'd be classed as a beginner/novice - but if you said to them that you could walk trot and canter confidently , they might have taken you at your word.

It sounds like it was meant to be an assesment lesson, but somewhere the wires got crossed and ended up as a normal group lesson. But unless you had specifically asked for a private lesson, it would have been - it's much more expensive for a private.

I think you just need to get back into the swing of it again before you book yourself another group lesson.

Have as many private lessons as you can afford until you're a bit less rusty. Then re-book a group lesson. Make sure you speak to the instructor at the beginning and mention that you can't always hear her. Working in open order can be intimidating when you're novice, but it teaches control - you just need to make sure you know what your doing, or book into to a more novice lesson where it's all taught.

[chocchick]

It sounds like it was meant to be an assessment lesson, but somewhere the wires got crossed and ended up as a normal group lesson.
It was an assessment in a group lesson but I didn't know who the teacher was going to be. I wrote that I was novice on the form and ticked wtc and small jumps. I rode for 4 years fortnightly and used to do small jumps. Is that still novice? I did jump there in a group lesson about 2 years ago. I explained my level over the phone, maybe they didn't understand.
The open order threw me as after a break from lessons I need some direction from the teacher. It's one thing to control the horse, it's another to understand all the riding school terms/rules when you're not following round as a ride and no-one has reminded you.
My legs were very stiff when I got on the horse after a pony trekking holiday last week which didn't help. The aches had completely gone after over a week on the ground, but I couldn't even lift my leg back properly to do the stirrups. Halfway through we rode as a ride and my muscles stretched and I was OK. She said I was making excuses and didn't seem to care.
It was the attitude of the RI that annoyed me. It would have been nice if they had been friendly rather than generally ignoring me and not explaining what was going on.

I have lots of options for riding schools-in fact far too many within 30-45 mins. It would take ages to go round them all. The trend seems to be for private lessons within working hours and group lessons outside (really well booked up with waiting lists).

[Wally]

An assessment lesson has to be a private one, how else can the instructor get an idea of what you know, how you ride and what YOU want from your riding.

You cannot do an assesment lesson in a group.

I'm not a nervous sensetive type, but I'd have been left a bit cross at being treated like that.

[amandal]

I've had a very bad experience at a very well respected school before and know how disheartening it can be. If they told you you needed an assessment lesson they should have given you an half hour private lesson to start with. The instructor sounds awful as well, but it could be crossed wires. You're either going to have to have a chat with someone at the RS - or leave and find somewhere else, perhaps not the instructor, is there a Yard Manager or Owner ?

Half a lesson spent in open working order would suggest that the class were quite an advanced group, is there another group you can join - that might also have the benefit of having a different instructor ?

Good luck with it.

[Friendly Filly]

I am 47 and started my first formal riding lessons in April 2005. I spent a few months over the winter visiting riding schools near me to see which i preferred. I drew up a checklist of questions I needed answers for before i made my choice, such as what riding facilities did it have, what were the horses like, how many instructors and what were their qualifications, and cost of lessons etc.
I chose a riding school which was just going for BHS accreditation at the time, which had 2 outdoor schools. The cost was very cheap, but the horses are all very well schooled and cared for. I have always been mad on horses ever since I can remember, and it was a dream come true to be able to finally afford lessons after so long.
I had had quite a lot of experience at a show pony stud when I was a teenager but mostly handling them on the ground, as I was quite a 'large' teenager and they were quite small for the most part, so I considered myself a very nervous novice. I had a private 30 min assessment, where I was put through my paces on a very safe but forward 15h horse. I followed that with a few private lunge lessons to help me with my position and use of the basic aids etc.
I am progressing quite nicely now, but still only have 30 minute lessons which I share with one other lady of about my age. My muscles are still developing, and I ache after every lesson, but I am less sore month by month.
I entered my first unaffiliated dressage comp recently, and came 4th equal with another lady, out of 14 entrants - you could have knocked me down with a feather I was so surprised.
I really feel for the bad experience you have had, but don't give up. Not all RSs are like that, and you need to be happy in your lessons, whilst still being challenged to improve. The RI needs to instill confidence in you, and push you to do more, but at a pace which you can cope with. I hope you have sorted things out now, or have found a place which suits you better.

[Trewsers]

Any thoughts????! ARe you kidding me, it sounds dreadful. Find somewhere else sharpish. Anywhere that blatantly tells you that they can make more money off childrens lessons, obviously doesn't want to teach adults. Fancy saying that! I would have been put off right away. My old yard concentrated more on kids lessons, but to be fair to YO she made room for adults too - and always made it clear from the start what we could / could not expect. She did say that as long as we didn't mind being watched by the kids then that would be fine!!!! I said I didn't mind at all (still don't!). I would definitely consider a private lesson too - I much prefer them. Tho group lessons can be fun and relax you when you've got a tad more confidence.
As for the toilet - at least they had one! Our old yard didn't used to have one, I had many a lesson with a full bladder (bit difficult to cross your legs whilst riding!!!). They have one now tho........!!!

[JOJOBA]

That sounds pretty rubbish, we wouldnt do that to you.
Assessment lessons are private, for a start!

PM me back sometime... off to see a hoss now though!

Jo
xxx

[Skib]

It would take ages to go round them all.
Exactly. But you need to do it.

[dancing-horse]

find another barn, that instructor may be legititimate, but she defintely was not a friendly helpful person.

[Sol_Gemma]

i nearly gave up on starting riding again because there are no decent schools in my area, the last one i visited laughed when i asked about private lessons and said theyre just for riders going into competition :mad: my boyfriend lives in devon so one day we went round 3 schools and picked one where i have a private lesson once a month when i visit, he is even having lessons :) also here i have found someone who needs her horse exercising so that keeps me going in between lessons :)
At the end of the day we are paying these people for lessons, they should treat customers like any other business would. You wouldnt go back to a hairdressers who were rude and cut your hair in a style you dont like. Set a day aside to go round the schools and discuss what you want to do other wise you will start to dread the lessons rather than look forward to them. Good luck!