Horse Phobia?

[rideawhitehorse]

I’ve been reading these boards for a bit expecting to find new riders… but everyone seems much more confident than I.

I’ve been taking lessons for a few months and prior to that I’d never even seen a horse up close. Thus, I didn’t know I was (really) frightened of them. At the beginning I couldn’t even pet the horses, now I can do that, and kind of feel comfortable-ish untacking them.

Whilst riding I am usually varying degrees of scared. One horse I sort of feel comfortable on, but I had another that seemed a bit out of control and I was scared to the point of nearly crying and asking to get off (my RI wouldn’t let me, and I prob. wouldn’t have gotten back on had she.) Most of my lessons are on the lunge & I practice posting, etc. As long as it is an even trot I feel comfortable, but when they get a jumpy start/too fast- or like the one horse, pulling, feeling out of control… I get really, really scared.

I think I am afraid of falling – and getting kicked/stepped on/ really hurt. I feel like I don’t trust the horse(s), that they are unpredictable & difficult to control, etc.

My friends say that If I’m that scared I should quit (I’m 20 + years old & am not forced to take lessons or anything) Part of me doesn’t want to fail/give up- I want to be a confident rider… I just don’t know if that will ever happen- and part of me wonders of I am afraid for a reason (like self preservation.) and meant to quit?

[willumau]

Is it at all possible for you just to hang out with a friendly horse, say in a paddock. Even if its just sitting with them reading a book and letting them sniff you or hanging out next to you? Spending time grooming them, leading them for a walk are all ways of becoming confident and feeling comfortable around horses.

If you have the passion and desire to become confident around horses you definately will get there. It is my passion and desire that has always prevented me from giving up horses even though I have experienced real fear moments in my long past (I am over 50 and don't move as fast as I used to :rolleyes: ).

I personally found that becoming confident around horses while you're on the ground can help with confidence when riding them. When you are confident then your horse feels confident and you can develop a relationship with each other. It is probably also worthwhile reading as many books about horse behaviour and body language as you can. Sometimes fear is caused by not knowing or understanding.

As you said it is not something that you have to do, but it is obviously something that you want to do - passion and desire will get you there :)

Hope I have been of some help.

[bexj]

Sorry, I'll have to be quick as I'm late for work, but find someone who will do what I do with kids (don't take offence but same principles).

Get person to use a quiet gentle reliable horse. Person touches horse gently on shoulder, and encourages you to do same. Then on the nose, neck, inbetween the forelegs, then down near the hoof. Finally (and this is where the gentle quiet horse comes in) along the belly and under the back legs. When doing this with Molly, she will pull silly faces at certain points, which demonstrates to child that horse is enjoying being touched, the child finds it funny and then relaxes. Works every time!

You just need to spend som quality time with them, under the supervision of someone else if you need to.

Good luck - your passion will soon over-ride your fear.

[stormchaser]

Your fears can be considered natural--accidents can and they do happen as they do happen in any sport, but instead of fearing you should turn that fear into respect, and respect will give your confidence. If you respect the horse, the horse will take care of you. You need to question yourself which part of you will be the bigger part--your passion and goals, or your fear.

[colettybetty]

Hiya, I think anything new and unfamiliar can be scary, I'd advise grabbing hold of a book or two, something by Kelly Marks or Micheal Peace, which will help you get to know what makes horses tick and how you can quietly get them to respond to you, Mark Rashid and Buck Brannagan are two American horseman that helped my understanding of horses alot.
The more you understand how horses think, the more comfortable you'll feel.If you can, try and build a special relationship with one horse, needn't be one you ride, could be a little fat pony, ask at the RS if you could spend time, grooming and generally taking care of him as often as you can. See how you can influence him by getting him to move over as you work around him, once his funny little ways are making you laugh, you'll realise you are relaxing. Find someone to inspire you with how they work with horses, someone who is quiet and fair but firm when needed. Its the people who never seem to have a problem with horses behaviour who are cleverer than the people who always seem to be dealing with a difficult situation.

[Afellpony]

I'm sorry you've got this fear of horses - but they are lovely really!!! If I were you, I wouldn't even attempt to ride. Get used to them on the ground first. Stroke them gently and speak to them in a soft calm voice (that'll calm you down too). When you do this, they usually half close their eyes and drop their heads, especially if you stroke under their mane and round the base of their ears. You dont have to get up on them until you are really ready, then only if you want to. Find a sympathetic trainer and work from there.

[Trace The Ace]

Hi there Rideawhitehorse.

Welcome and don't feel that you are alone in your inexperience and fear of horses. My husband was (and I guess inside is still) terrified of horses. I honestly thought that he wouldn't go near them. However he was not forced to and was encouraged firstly to put his hand out to be sniffed and then to stroke ONLY when he wanted to.

We are at the stage where he is contemplating getting on a horse, but it is a really slow progress and you truly can't rush this progress.

Good luck and keep at it if your desire is to beat this fear. You never know, you may get to a point where you are able to control the fear and have progressed to the point that you are comfortable with what you have achieved and then decide that you have gone as far as you can. I had to do this with motorbikes (long story for another day). The point being, only you will know when enough is enough. ;)

Again, good luck

[kyanya]

I think people's fear of horses often comes from the fact that they seem quite different to us, and it's difficult to relate to them, perhaps?

However, they aren't that different from us. They have emotions, thoughts, feelings and they rationalise things. They get scared of things that they don't understand, just like us.

Do you like dogs? Horses are just a larger version! They can be our friends, and they have no desire to hurt us. In fact, they're mostly very willing and want to please :)

Good luck with overcoming the fear. And good on you for wanting to overcome it - horses do have so much to give us, so it'll be well worth it :D

[elenapopov]

I’ve been taking lessons for a few months and prior to that I’d never even seen a horse up close. Thus, I didn’t know I was (really) frightened of them.

What made you decide take riding lessons in the first place?
And why do you consider quitting a failure?

[elenapopov]

They have emotions, thoughts, feelings and they rationalise things. ... In fact, they're mostly very willing and want to please


How do you know?

(No offence intended, pure curiosity :) )

[RustyMary]

I was in the same position as you when I had my first lesson a year ago - I'd never been so close to such a large animal and was most unsure about it! I was lucky though with my RI (and the horse) and she built up my confidence really slowly, and that's what you need to do - it will take time, don't rush it. Personally I think being wary of large animals (or even smaller ones like dogs that you don't know well) is a very sensible survival strategy, and I still take it very easy with horses that I don't know. Each week do a little bit more. Ask your RI about the things that keep you safe around horses - like always being either too close or too far away for them to kick! Echo the people who said try to a make a relationship with one horse - and stay away from the others until you feel more confident. If you build it up slowly, you'll soon begin to see a difference - after a while I was picking up Markus's dinner plate hooves without a care in the world!

[jenren!!]

Dont worry, everyoneis bound to be at least a little scared when they first spend time with horses. It might just take time getting to know them. I think you are extremely brave getting on, never mind untacking, you are certainly challenging your fear, i agree with everyone else on advice.

[*Sez*]

Horses indeed have a full range of emotions. They can fear things (often in an almost phobic sense - as anyone who has tried to walk past a scary plastic bag can testify! :rolleyes: ), feel affection, can become lonely, jealous, impatient, be calm and relaxed, be impulsive... Example:- When I am too unwell to go to the farm my parents see to my horse for me. He knows them, and is perfectly willing, but apparently is always looking around for me and appears disappointed that I'm not there. When I go back again, either the following day or a few days later and call to him from the field gate, he whinnies and *gallops* down the field towards me. He knows I'm his Mum and we have a very close relationship. He sometimes even shows his resentment that I wasn't around by giving me a big fuss followed by a nip, or by ignoring me once he's reached me (but also keeping an eye on my reaction to make sure I'm aware I'm being punished ;) ) until he decides he's forgiven me. They are certainly not human, and I don't expect that they feel in the same way that we do, but they are certainly very intelligent creatures who are ruled by emotion.

To respond to the original post, it sounds to me like you have over-faced yourself a little bit. I have several friends who are phobic of horses, and my OH claims to "hate" them, but it stems from fear (he had a riding accident as a child). I tend to be a bit "no nonsense" I'm afraid, and encourage them to come to our yard then give them a brush and tell them to help me groom ;) . This approach has often helped because they can see how relaxed I am and how relaxed the horses are and tend to just get on with it when they see I'm not prepared to molly coddle their fear. Most of the problem, I think, is that these are very large animals who can run very fast and have a reputation for "blind panic". I would never ever make a person who was scared or incredibly nervous get on a horse and stay on it. Never. The horse will pick up on this emotion and start thinking "well, you're meant to be keeping ME safe, so if something scary is out there it must be TERRIBLE!" :eek: and it starts the horse feeling nervous. Which is when you can have problems.

I agree with the rest of the advice. Spend loads of time around horses on the ground. Learn as much as you can - how to groom and plait, perform basic equine first aid, clean tack, muck out, lead up safely... get as much hands on experience around the yard as possible. Some schools even offer basic courses on stable management without ever having to get on a horse. When you feel more confident, ask for a nice quiet mount and a leader, and just have a walk around the school. Your leader will be in control of the horse and will chat to you to relax and reassure you. When you feel ready, start trotting a little. Doing this with a leader, or on the lunge with a sympathetic instructor means you don't have to worry about being out of control - someone else has the horse... you just think about YOU. Work on your balance and position and you will quickly feel more secure. If you think the school is pushing too hard, tell them so. Either they will try to be more accomodating or you can vote with your feet and go elsewhere.
Good luck. I sincerely hope you manage to get a handle on your fear and start to enjoy riding soon! :)

[Keket]

I think it may be worthwhile to talk with your RI. A good RI can do amazing things for one's confidence, simply by pushing you just a little bit out of your comfort zone, and then giving you lots of praise when you do. :) Take baby steps and build up your confidence.

I'm not a nervous rider, and if anything, I'm overconfident, but after a bad fall in February that resulted in me being taken to the hospital by ambulance and a fractured vertabra (probably not the right thing to tell a nervous rider... :rolleyes: ). The horse tripped in the canter, and because of that, it was ages until I could canter confidently again. My RI understood and asked me to just give her a few strides at the canter. Then it was one lap around the arena, then two, three... Now I'm back to where I was before I fell, doing ten-twenty minutes of canter, including cantering my own greenbroke mare.

As for being nervous around them, it seems a lot of people are until they start to understand them. My dad was not a horse fan at all. In the three years I've been riding, he's never seen me ride. When we bought Topaz, we had to take hay up. We can store one week's worth of hay at the yard. Every week, my dad takes up hay for Topaz. He's starting to give her little pats when he goes up.

I told him a few days ago that we were going to start cantering her and that if she was going to buck, that would be when she did it. He said, "She wouldn't buck. She's too good-natured." He asks about the other horses at the yard too. :)

[Peace]

I know just exactly how you feel. I think I could've been described as "horse phobic" when I'd been riding only a few months. Pounding heart, short of breath, sick to my stomach - I had all those symptoms. But I also knew I loved horses too much to give up.

It's good your RI is keeping you on the lunge. I rode enough miles on a lead line to stretch across the county, probably.

Another thing that helped me was staying with one horse, not being put on a different horse every lesson or so. I know, people say it's better for your riding to get used to different horses, and this is no doubt true. But for me to work through my phobia I had to feel I could predict what the horse might do next, and for that I needed to stay with the same one for long enough that I could learn their reactions to different things.

What really cured me was getting my horse, Bram.:) He's an older fellow - a quarter draft who truly likes people. He's confident and cool-headed enough so that I didn't make him nervous when I couldn't control my phobic symptoms. In fact, when he'd notice me getting short of breath he'd verrry deliberately walk over and gently rub against me.:o I'd have had a heart attack if any other horse had chosen to invade my space like that, but Bram's doing it actually got me over my dread of being run over/stepped on/etc. if a horse got close to me.

Above all, take it slow and don't let yourself be forced into something you're not ready for. You really need to get a little bit bored with one thing before moving on to the next. As said above, a sympathetic RI can work wonders here.

Keep us posted - PM me if you want.:)

[Goldie'sGirl]

Hiya Rideawhitehorse!
I was like this too, when I fist started riding, I was scared to even touch the horse. Recently though, I went into the stable without the horse being tied up, and groomed and mucked out the stable, something that I would not have done when I started.

I think you just need to spend more time with the horses, which I know can be difficult at a riding school, but ask your riding instructor if it is possible.
Good luck
~GG~

[Wally]

Nothing wrong with a healthy regard if you are a newcomer, but really, truly they worry is far, far worse than the actual event.

I have been stepped on and kicked and barged and fallen off more times than I care to remember. BUT DON'T FORGET that I am in the business of taking wild, unhandled horses and taming and training them, I will get walloped far more than any ordinary rider. BUT DON'T forget, I am still here to tell the tales! ;) :D :D

You will have the luxury of tame, trained horses, you will fall of, ....one day..... you will be trodden on.....one day........you will get kicked one day if you keep working with horses, but it isn't that bad, a bit of a blue bruise and that's it, carry on regardless.

Truly, the worry is worse than the actual event.

I have the luxury of having been around them for years and can read the signs, that's all you need, a bit more training in body language, then you'll feel far, far happier.

Read, Monty Roberts, Michael Peace, Kelly Marks in fact any book on horse psychology, you'll feel far happer.

Have you ever thought about having a go at driving a horse and cart?

[Em 1]

I’ve been taking lessons for a few months and prior to that I’d never even seen a horse up close. Thus, I didn’t know I was (really) frightened of them. At the beginning I couldn’t even pet the horses, now I can do that, and kind of feel comfortable-ish untacking them.

Well done for working forwards to the point that you can pet the horse. Horses are very big and can be very scary if you don't know them!

I've got a few suggestions for exercises that might help you but I need to know a couple of things first.

* Why did you start to ride?
* Why do you want to ride?
* What is the attraction of riding?

[Rips]

Welcome to the board :)
I'd like to know the answers to those questions too! Most people are attracted to riding initially because they like horses/ like being around horses...
If you are scared and nervous around them it is potentially dangerous and I don't think you'd like to look back on an incident where you were hurt - knowing you only kept up riding because you were determined not to 'fail'.

When I started riding (as a child) I was a very nervous and scared rider - not initially, but after 6/7months of basic lessons I used to panic or get upset if pushed to do new things (like canter/jump) Everything else up to the point though was fun and enjoyable, I knew it was just a case of pushing the boundaries out until I was confident. Now I have my own horses and compete regularly after 10+years of riding. I always felt 'at home' around horses and sometimes they were definitely an escape for me, I can't imagine persevering through my ridden fears if I was also very uneasy about horses in themselves.

Good Luck, I hope you can overcome it if this is something you really want to do. They are unpredictable and a certain amount of caution is always good but in most good RS's accidents are rare :)