Fear

[minx]

i guess i can understand a little of ** fear... even i have a problem with the sitting trot thing(esp. on a huge TB). i was often given big TBs to ride on and right now i get kinda nervous on top of them. so i can't really help u much with regard to that
:(

it'll be good to express your fear to ** instructor and see how he/she can help u out. it wouldn't help if u have an impatient instructor(is it Mike??). i never dared to express to Anna about my fear 'cos she's kinda impatient... and her advices never helped(if she ever has one).

it didn't help when i kept everything to myself. i started to dread every lesson because i knew that i was gonna be put on huge TBs. that made it worse and i was never able to learn. Anna never made an effort to help me(all that yelling didn't help). i kept my feelings all bottled up and i was often on the verge of tears.

somehow, i was glad that i quit. though i am quite attached to SRC and i got kinda emotional on my last day there. still, it was pointless to go on when i wasn't learning.

just want to say that you're not alone ;) hope that u'll have an understanding instructor on your next lesson. do keep us informed of your progress!!

P.S: what's the name of that TB? i used to visit Polo Club very often.

[Wally]

Riding should be fun.If you are really scared of this horse don't ride him. Tell you instructor that you would feel happier on a different animal until you have the confidence to ride him. One day you will and you'll wonder why you couldn't get it together with him in the first place. It's no good dreading you riding lessons no one will learn anything if you are in a state of fear.
Get your confidence on other horses then when you feel ready progress onto the one you are fearful of. Remember, just because he ran off with you once doesn't mean it will happen again. Give the horse the benefit of the doubt.
Good luck and keep smiling.

[Maisie]

Hi, today I was put on the very horse who had run away with me just a few months ago. I was like "What? You gave me this horse?" I could have sworn everybody around me could sense my nervousness. He's a very very smart TB, and I was so scared I kept leaning forward...I did a little trot on him, and because his trot is so fast (what can you expect from a TB?) and bouncy, I was like a block of wood...nothing like my usual posture.

Please can anyone give me a bit of advice on conquering this sort of fear? I don't want to be afraid of this horse, in fact I don't want to be afraid of any horse. I used to like riding big TBs but lately it's starting to get to me.

Help?

[random2]

Maybe you can try to get to know that horse, and see that he did not want to hurt you. You know that, but maybe deep down you think that he will run off with you again. :)
If it is that bad, :( then you can probably ask for a different horse. THe reason that they gave you the same horse is so you can build up your confidence around him again. OR maybe you can help at his stables. You will then get to know him better and maybe be less afraid of him. ;)

[kellyk]

Fear is tough to overcome but it can be done by possative thinking. Also riding a good horse can do wonders. I have had some accidents & I find the older I get I have become more fearful of injury. My body can't take as much as it used to. There are books out there on conquering fear. I also find that talking about it helps. I have discussed it with others & find I am not alone. Now it is getting better. I vision positive thinking methods. I practice in the arena. A safe place to ride. I wear a helmet now because I had a fall on a friends horse but was wearing my helmet when I hit my head. So I felt taking precautions do help Use common sense & find a good instructor that has to patenience to help you with your confidence. I do think confidence is the Key. Good luck to you. I work on this fear thing all the time. You are not alone.

[hlstarmie]

you could try using a herbal remedy such as Bach Remedy Aspen a couple of times before you ride to calm yourself down its very good for all kinds of fear.
Good luck

[Vee]

As an adult amateur who's been riding only a few years and survived one BIG accident, I've been dealing with the fear and loss of conficence full time for the last 6 months. I found that, for me, the real key to overcoming anxiety is realizing that emotion is located in the body, not the mind. That's why fear is a feeling, not a "thinking"! Now this might sound simple but it made a huge idfference for me.

In other words, your body remembers that adrenalin rush when that horse ran away with you. So you have to think about that event and subsitute positive visual images. This is hard work! Try playing through that scenario up to the point where the horse bolted and then substitute your good riding skills and getting control. Change the ending of the memory! Do this exercise over and over again and try to make it as vivid as possible.

Whne you get back on that TB, breathe a lot...deeply and send him the message of your control and that he's safe.

And try riding him in a safe place, at a walk, with lots of halts, rein changes, etc. to make him listen to you.

[Anne]

One of the things which feeds any fear I might have from time to time is my own lack of confidence and insecurity (I have still, not even in my "maturity" <g> managed to conquer either of these totally!)especially when you have to run the gauntlet of the more intolerent types you sometimes come across .... with due respect to anyone on NRB
who is a groom or helps out at their particular yard, these are generally the younger ones, one of who called me an old bat recently .... At the time I was pretty upset as I'd just gone back after a painful 2 months off, and wasn't feeling my best. However, at home and on reflection, I realised that as he was about 18 at the most, and looked 10, he would think I was an old bat I suppose, and I just laughed it off.
(Next time 'owever, oill 'ave the little sprog!) .... :) <g>

Anne

[Raine]

Go to it, show these sprogs who's boss. To tell the truth I was a fearless sprog, now I'm older and have lost the ability to bounce I know why some folk arn't as brave as others.
There's nothing wrong with knowing exactly where your limits are and sticking to them. So what if someone rides a horse that you're scared of. Good luck to 'em, I'll stick to low risk horses. I don't care if someone can clear a 5 foot fence give me 3 foot six and I'm happy.
One day these cocky youngsters will get older and they too will find out that he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.

[Maisie]

Thanx everybody!

It's not really a case of big TBs, today I just rode this really huge horse who has a terribly bouncy trot and all, and I wasn't scared at all. Sometimes really huge horses scare me a little, but generally it's only on that particular horse, but those suggestions sound pretty good. I'll definitely try them out.

Minx, I didn't ride at the Polo Club that day, it was in Malaysia. I wasn't having a lesson, just riding out on my own...but heaven knows why when I asked them for a mount they gave me that horse.

What I'm going to do is wait for a little while more, then I'm going back there and back on top of that horse. I'm going to give him hugs and all, if I have the time to spare, and tell myself it's all right.

Once again, thank you everybody for your lovely suggestions!

[Anne]

Oh Raine ... do I know what you mean about bouncing ... I didn't ride as a youngster but did other mad things like sailing, when I couldn't swim, and refused to wear a lifejacket to I was rumbled and bawled out "that if I ever showed such stupidity again" etc etc ... as you say, one day these youngsters will grow to a more "mature" age :) and then we shall see .... <g> thanks for the support ... :)

Maisie ... where do you live in Singapore? My Father was posted there in the sixties, and I met my husband out there (he was in the airforce) and I was there for five years. Of course I know it has changed a great deal, but I have some wonderful memories and often think about my time there when things aren't going too well here.

Would love to hear about your life?

You can email me if you'd like to? Our son visited en-route from Japan some months ago, after teaching there for 4 years, and our both he and our daughter visited Hong Kong. Sadly however, I've never mentioned to get back to Singapore myself, but hope to one day.

Anne

[1tkathie]

HI,I have a 15.3 thoroughbred on loan. I find that his trot isn't that bouncy but when i first got him, i was slightly scared. i have had a cheeky 13.hh welsch since i was little and making the swap to persia was frighning. I kept on with him and it is better now,but a while later, he took off with me and I fell off. i was on my own, and he ran off, I had no choice but to catch him, and ride him home. I had to ride him a gain and i have got rid of my fears because I have to ride him as he is my horse. he has only had the odd spell like that, and usually i can cope with out falling off, but the key was perseverance. i think that instead of avoiding that horse, you should actually request him for your ride and get to know him. You can't let the fact that he is little different, scare you, afterall, all horses have different personalities and you might find that with a little work you will get to like him. hope this is helpful, kathie