Asked for negative views in PMs? Suspicious?

[Skib]

Am I being paranoid? Has anyone else had this happen?
I notice recently I have had several PMs asking me for my opinion of local riding schools, sometimes one particular school, sometimes schools in general and sometimes specifically asking for negative things.

These PMs come from people I don't know and who give no details of themselves in their profiles. Some may be innocent, but I am beginning to wonder.

My reaction ever since joining NR has been to give my phone number or e-mail to people looking for schools near where I live, so they can ring up, make personal contact and we can chat about what they are looking for and share experiences.

Recently no one has followed up by phoning or making personal introductions in PMs. No one who asked has even given me their name.

I am not mean about recommending. When I meet NR people face to face, and they ask where I ride, I willingly give them the names of the places I go, and as a result other NR people may go to the same yards as me.

I 've been particularly concerned with two issues on NR: bullying and safety. So I can understand people asking me. Also I learned to ride late in life which means other elderly people can find it useful to ask me how I managed.

But these anonymous PMs asking for negative stuff worry me. Are lawyers or health and safety people or someone with a grudge trying to get info against riding schools or teachers?

I've always been careful not to speak ill of a school even in private.

Now I think it is best not to comment on riding schools in PMs at all for the moment. Nor to give anyone the names of teachers I have had.

What do other people and the mods think please?
And teachers, do you think your pupils get questions about you?

[Mehitabel]

i don't think i'd be inclined to respond - certainly not if you're specifically being asked for negative opinons. are they from 'established' and contributing members of the forum, or people who don't post?

i wouldn't imagine it would be anyone like a lawyer - i doubt they'd use an internet forum and anonymous opinions for anything. but it might well be someone trying to stir trouble - the internet is full of them!

i have had the odd pm asking me things - normally when i've alluded to something in a post like a saddler i wouldn't use, or a dentist i think is marvellous, etc - but it has not happened often.

i would not be at all surprised from a teacher POV that people were asking pupils about me. ther eare a lot of 'can you recommend an instructor' queries on boards, and so there must be probably franker private conversations going on via pm.

[Trace The Ace]

I would ignore the PMs to be honest. You can see if someone is genuine on PM - by that I mean that peope who are genuine tend to chit chat somewhat (if you get what I mean).

Go with you gut instinct.

HTH

[martini55]

I can see people asking for opinions via pm if they have seen you comment on a thread about a riding school etc, to get a more personal and informed comment from you (as we know we can't always do that on the board). I don't think I'd like to give my phone number, although email is a bit different. If it is from members who is well known and contributes a lot to the board then I'd reply but if it was from someone who I did not know or hadn't seen around the boards I'd be inclined to ignore them. Looking for negative comments only is a bit strange...

[BeachRiding]

IS it just from people who never post? if so I would be more worried than from someone who is more established on here.

[madferret]

Skib I hope you don't mean me :eek: I only contacted you a while back because you seemed so knowledgable about schools in our area and you posted regularly about them and I didn't phone you because I was shy :o

I guess there could be people who have hidden reasons for asking you, but like the others, I would go with your gut.

getting paranoid now :p

[Jill_H]

Hope you don't mean me either, Skib. Like madferret, I promise I am genuine (I also exchanged a couple of PMs with madferret on the topic of local riding schools). I didn't phone you because although your response was very helpful I am somewhat restricted in where I can ride as I have no transport!

[neen]

Weird though it may seem, you are probably more likely to be PM'd asking about negative things, because those are the things you can't post about publicly. So you'll often see people posting a thread saying "does anyone know anything about this school/dealer, PM me if it's negative". I assume the same sort of thing goes on in PMs. I would definitely ask you for advice on schools, Skib, since you've tried so many! Maybe treat it as a compliment?

I think you're very brave to give out your phone number, though! I don't have any personal details in my profile -- I'm generally quite careful about the information I "publish" about myself. Doesn't mean I'm not real :)

You've set me wondering now how hard it really is to work out which are the genuine New Riders and which aren't. Sometimes you get someone who CLEARLY isn't genuine, which lulls you into thinking you can spot them. But then, how many of the apparently normal people are actually just good at hiding their abormalities? :eek: :eek: :p

That's the internet for you -- mixed bag of gems and nuts. More gems than nuts, though, in my experience ;)

[eml]

We are both of the same pre internet generation but I would not be nearly as trusting as you. I know a few people on the board personally and 'know' a few others by long aquaintance with their posts, a few I would even trust with confidential thoughts. I would not however give recommendations or negative comments to anyone else unless they were comments already in the public domain.

As a business we get a lot of rude 'hate' mail regretfully often in the school holidays and we have adopted a policy of reporting people to internet providers and message boards they frequent. It mind sound extreme but what would people do with a written hatemail ..I personally would take it to the police or other authority.

Just be safe be careful.

[summerguest]

Now I know why you seemed suspicious of my pm!!
Just to let you know,even tho I haven't rang you...mine was a genuine enquiry.