Why, oh why..

[Portia]

Do I ALWAYS feel scared everytime I ride? Was thinking about it today, had a headache - get them when I get stressed - and realised I was fretting about riding tonight, and in fact everytime I go to ride. I have a share of a lovely lovely gentle cob, really looks after me.. but I'm STILL frightened everytime :confused: .

I wondered if other 40+ riders feel the same? As a kid I rode hell-for-leather, now it's more like hanging-on to leather! Yes, fear is healthy, but this is getting ridiculous. I have to force myself to go - I'm determined not to back down on riding, but this is begining to get depressing.

[rohan]

Portia.
I think that a lot of women who ride become more nervious I heard that its because women have more concerns then men it has to do with the motherhood thing I know I worry about what would happen if I fell of and could'nt drive I have 3 children my OH is a firefighter he is on a bleep he is on call 24/7 365 he would not be in a position to take childern to school or may not be here to collect them. with this in mind its no wonder that we worry.

[NoviceNic]

Have you had your share for long??? If not then dont worry. When I first owned Captain I could of been literally sick before I got on to ride him. :o I cant remember when I stopped feeling like that. But believe me it goes and you wont even notice it. :)

[Portia]

Not for long, but i took him on as I just coudnt ride our little, quiet much loved 14.2 pony! Daughter manages her and the strops so competently, I just stand back and watch in awe.
The silly thing is, it seems like only yesterday SHE was frightened and I was reassuring her, now it's the other way around! I'm certain I'm regressing. I'll be on a lead rein next.

[NoviceNic]

This was my Plan A when I first owned Captain. It may help you.:)

Groom and tack your horse up EVERY day. Even if its windy or raining. No excuses just tack him up. Then to start, just mount and sit there. Sit for as long as you feel comfortable. Then (and it doesnt have to be on that day) when you are comfortable try a little walk around. Nothing much just a little walk around. You again can do this for a few days if that is what you need. Lengthening your walk if you feel comfortable. Then when you are happy in walk, progress to small trot. When happy lengthen your time in trot. And basically build yourself up like that. The key point is to get on your horse everyday. It is very difficult to build up a trusting relationship whilst you are nervous on a basis of 2 days a week riding. :o

[ShariN]

You sound like me.:D
I am nervous until I get to know a new horse....doesn't matter how gentle the horse is, or that she has never done anything wrong.
Am going through this with my new Ice mare and she has been a very good girl. It usually takes me a year to get over being nervous most of the time.
Once I know my horse and her quirks...it is not as bad. Though I have my Brave days and my nervous days.
NoviceNic, has great ideas. Just don't push yourself. If you just go groom fine...or maybe lead him out to watch him get grass...or one day get on and then get off......and so on. Only do what you are comfortable with at the time.
That way you will learn about each other and you can be more at ease.;)

[julia gulia]

I must be weird:eek: I will be forty nine in February and whenever I get on a horse I always expect the best out of him/her. I must be mad:p

[tasnik blazze]

I used to be nervous and unsure whenever i rode my Blazze, I have been riding now for 18 months i think. Anyway i was having panic attacks at the start and i went and saw my doctor and he gave me my "no worries" pills....I had a bit of underlying depression for a few bad things in my life ....any how....they really helped me in the beginning but i have been off them for about 2 months now. I am not needing them now for my riding but i think some of that is because i have now got a good bond with my pony. Most of my riding is trekking out in the bush and forests that surround us and think it give you a good chance to bond with your horse especially if it is a kind of difficult track and you have to put your trust in your horse and visa versa. I still have a few mental problems:D but i think that is just the way i am ....maybe too many falls or blows to the head:D :p .....the main problem now (for my hubby) is my ADDICTION to riding. I am not suggesting you need some happy pills but maybe give yourself a chance to bond and really get to know your steed. I have been told it take a good year for your pony/horse to bond to you.

[mogadoga]

Im not 40+. Im 17. And i used to get terrified!!!!! Even after years of riding. *shrug*
I got myself an instructor who was nice but also pushed, and hacked out with quiet horses.
Eventually i started doing things alone/large groups/xc. And it was fab!!!!

Just take it one step at a time. Make small goals. Teeeeeeeeeeeeeny goals! And after them you feel MUCH better! And for the bigger goals which have been completed, get you/your horse a nice treat! :D

[VickiGG]

Yes! I used to ride twice a week at a riding school and be nervous before hand each and every time for about 6-8 months.

Now I have my own horse but still get nervous if jumping or going to the forest...or to a show....quite normal :)

Liquid valerian for humans works really well - helps you get on with it - which in turn gives you confidence, and makes you less nervous the next time so you eventually don't need it.

[Brunie]

portia
I am just like you but I am trying to get my daughter to be confident around Henry, and stay calm and confident myself... I am so glad I'm not the only one. I feel so young at my yard as everyone seems to know what there doing I am 36 and feel 66!!!!!!! I am glad that you started this thread I am going to do little things at a time, and hope he will comply with us as he is sooo big, We go down muck out move him around lead him in a controlled state but thats all at the moment, he must get right fed up with us messying about, and my daughter shouts at me and I tell her not to around him as he must be laughing at us:D

[Murasaki]

Hi Portia (and everyone), I know exactly how you feel! We have had charlie for about 6 weeks now and I love him already but am sooo conscious of the dangers of being around a big horse.....yesterday he got into the goat pen and he was panicking as he couldn't find a way out - I was panicking too but realised that I had to be brave for both of us so managed to get his lead rope on and lead him over the broken fence - he then dashed off at speed, lead rope dangling and galloped around the field....it took a lot of courage to go up to him and calm him but I managed :) Not confident enough to ride him alone yet, my daughter and I have lessons together with her RI...daughter on pony and me on Charlie. I wonder if it's like driving...when I first started to drive I was panicky at the thought of getting in the car but now I don't think twice about it....here's hoping! and the mud...oooohhhhh the mud :( I like the advice from Novicenic!

[Portia]

Thanks all for your kindness! Good to know I'm not alone...
It's all so irrational, and I REFUSE to be beaten, but think I'm going to be worried/frightened for a long time yet. It's so irrational and unpredictable, think I may try something homeopathic (like bach's flower remedies - all nicely preserved in alcohol) Thankfully I must have been patient with my daughter, as she is certainly now very tolerant of me!

[NoviceNic]

The good old R&R. Works a treat.. **hic**:D

[teabiscuit]

it depends on the horse

if its finn i know i'll be looked after and i never worry about riding him

if its bonnie i know i have to look after her and i get a bit worried and fearful then

if its thug i know he'll jump at everything,but i know he's a sweetheart and he's trying his best so i'm watchful but not fearful


i listen to my nerves and ride accordingly, which means i wimp out on stuff others would not have a problem with, but hey ho that's life

[Skib]

Nic's plan sounds exactly right.

But I'd do the ground work first? Like Nic has got round to recently?
Does the horse respect and obey you on the ground.
I wouldnt dream of getting on a horse until he did? And if he wont may be that is why you are nervous?

Being nervous can be a healthy and intelligent reaction. A warning. RIs say I am not scared or nervous. But that is only because I never ride a horse that I think might be beyond my control?
If a horse doesnt do as I say - or maybe on the third time of asking - I get off and dont ride it. And before I canter or hack a horse, I want to know all about it.
Caution and safety are very important components of enjoying riding. Personally I look at the horse and my relationship with the horse. Not psychological remedies. I dont want to be calmed down. I want my wits about me when I ride and to be very alert. Just like when one drives a car.

[Afellpony]

Ah Skib the thing is you can only think clearly if you are calm. So, it does no harm for peeps to take homeopathic calmers. (Natrum Murriaticum is a good one as that leaves you able to think clearly). That's the one I use but not before getting on Falcon I might add.

[Peace]

That's exactly how I was with Bram at first - and a nicer, calmer steadier hacking partner does not exist. I remember wondering if I would ever be able to get on a horse and not be nervous. I think it took me the better part of a year, riding twice a week or so, but I finally did get so I wasn't a bit nervous.:)

Now with Quanah, OTOH:rolleyes: I've felt slightly guilty for years for being scared to ride him - mostly because he's never done anything wrong with me on board. But I've finally realized I'm right to be nervous about him - he's a lot more horse than Brammie, and I know he's reared, bucked, etc. with other people. We'll be fine one day, but today's not that day - yet.:)

So my advice is to really think through why you're nervous. Do you believe in your heart that your share is the right horse for you, and you're just getting the creeps because your experiences with the pony were less than pleasant? If so, then it's just a matter of piling up enough good experiences with your share so that you start to expect riding to be pleasant again. If, on the other hand, you think you're a little overhorsed, or maybe you think you really should take some lessons to brush up your skills (not saying any of these are true, just giving examples of good reasons one might feel nervous), then you're probably right to be afraid and should do what you have to to minimize your risk.

No, you're certainly not alone in feeling this way.:)