Ups and Downs of Riding

[Hallmarked]

After making a lot of progress in my riding this year :) (at last) I seem to have fallen onto a bit of a platue (again). I have discussed this with my RI and she seems to think it's a confidence thing - I don't believe in my own abiltiy enough. I am a good rider, but I do not believe it.

The problem is that I keep getting it and then losing it again and taking ages to find it again. When I do loose it I think to myself "I just can't do this" or "Oh no, here we go again" sort of thing. :( The horse picks up on this and takes it at face value - as they do :o

I'm having my next lesson on a different pony on my instructors suggestion, but I still feel like I've failed somewhat :(

I know I'm not alone in feeling like this from reading other posts. I'm generally quite a shy person and am lacking in self confidence in a lot of situations, not just horsie. Does anyone have an words of wisdom or encouragement for me? Or am I just taking this a bit too seriously?

On the plus side my seat and position has improved no end in the last 12 months. During my last lesson the horse shyed at a bird in the hedge next to the school, and because I was struggeling a bit anyway she lost her front footing and went down on her knees :eek:. Luckily she was OK, but a year ago I would have been eating sand with her, but I impressed my instructor by staying firmly in the saddle while the horse regained her feet :)

[Little Dolphins]

Well done for staying aboard, HM!

I don't think you're taking things too seriously, because if we really care about something, then it IS serious to us.

Like you, I have had my ups and downs. I've been down for a while, thinking I'm probably a bad rider.

But the truth is more likely that I'm not that bad, just not as good as I think I should be- if you get me!

My dear YO tells me that I "beat myself up about it too much"; and she's right, as I do that about almost everything in my life! Perhaps you're the same?

You know what? Over the last couple of days I've been trying to take the pressure off completely by telling myself that it's all cool, I don't need to keep measuring up my abilities- cos all I do is reduce my confidence still more.
I'm feeling quite good today, though how long it'll last? Yep, it's an up and down game all right:rolleyes:

Another thing that works quite well is picturing in your mind a moment when you felt successful in the saddle! Like when the horse shied and you stayed on and it was all fine. Or maybe your seat is great in the picture and your horse is going nicely with you. Enjoy the view:)

It's so easy to picture all the c**p times, they tend to run into one another like a movie, one that you deffo wouldn't pay to see.:D

Sorry for the long reply, but your post has got me thinkin'!

Hope you feel happier about things soon.
Cheers x

[NoviceNic]

Focus on the good things. You are not a child that doesnt care about your position. Just wanting to hoon around on a wee knackered pony. You are an intelligant adult that knows that you are not perfect and you are doing something about it. The confidence thing will always hang around with us more mature people. Frustrating isnt it. :rolleyes: Have you tried Rescue Remedy?? Calms the nerves especially if you take too much. Just dont drive when you have OD on the drops. :p

[tracyward]

You are so not alone, i think every rider at some point during their riding years have been in the same/similar situation as you and I . I too had the very same scare as you when my mare ended up on her knees during a canter :eek: , but like you i stayed on. It did knock the stuffing out of me :eek: .

I too have up and down days with my mare. I haven't been able to rider her for 3 weeks now and i know when I do ride her again i will be a nervous wreck, but i get through it and once i'm on i know that she will look after me.

It's great that you are able to ride another horse as i have found this gives you confidence :p . Its always make me more determined to better with my girl.

Keep us all posted as your up's and down's are our's too.

Happy riding to all, and stay safe. x :D

[teabiscuit]

i've been throught that "i'm not good enough" phase, and come out the other end,
now all i care about is that the horses are well cared for, if their talents are wasted on me, then so be it, at least i know they get a full belly, a kind word and the freedom to trash the fields to smithereens. heck at least they're not stuck inside all day going do-lally

as for the riding,
i'm good at some things, and rubbish at others.

some days everything magically clicks, most days i ache all over and ride like i ache all over :D :p

i am very lucky to have been able to have lessons off a BHSI who has horses at advanced dressage level.

i was saying to her at my lesson on saterday that i didn't care how far i got with my horse, i was having a ball learning all this great stuff, just having a great time on a wonderful learning journey with Finn.

i said i'm 40 now and it's my last chance to do this really.

she said don't say that, I'm 40 too and it's not my last chance, i want to get my horses to grand prix level (it sounds stuck up when i read it back but she's really not even a bit like that, she's lovely)

she said she was the same as me, striving to better herself.

no matter how good you get, you always can learn more, and you never stop striving.

here endith thought for the day :p
so Hallmark, i reckon us riders are destined to always be striving for better :) you just better get used to that feeling :D

[Nazdaq]

You sound so much like me, although I haven't been riding as long as you! But when I fell off (in my 3rd lesson) I lost my nerve, but changing to another pony and working on the lunge for about 45 mins the next session helped me to see that I am secure (ish) in my seat and I can do it, and the circumstances contributed to me falling off, it wasn't just because I was a crappy rider if you know what I mean.

I would say you just have to tell yourself that sometimes things happen because of factors outside our control, and you mustn't give up, becuase you ARE a good rider, and it makes you happy at the end of the day.
So what If your position isn't the best in the world, as long as the horse isn't hindered by it, and you are having fun, you should still get out there and ride!! Thats what I tell myself anyways.
Hope that helped. :D

[Hallmarked]

Thank you all for being kind enough to reply.

I had my lesson this evening on the different pony, who is a real sweetie. He shows up the weakness in my riding that we are trying to work on but doesn't take such quick advantage, so I'm getting a chance to make the corrections I need, or at least feel what they are.

I think part of the problem is that although I have had about ten years worth of riding lessons I am only just begining to realise just how much I've still got to learn. A bit like climbing a mountain, when you think you are about half way up you suddenly someone gives you a clue where you are and you find you are actually still in the foothills.:rolleyes: However this is probably a good thing really - much better than going up the wrong garden path just because the scenary is nicer.

At least on New Rider I can talk to people who understand because they've been there themselves:D . I've been told before (by a non enthusiast) that riding a horse is not much different to sitting on a sofa - clueless obviously:mad:

[Lucy J]

i can truly sympathise. i went for a few lessons at a riding school recently and was told (now i've been riding for 20+ years reschooled ex racehorses and backed youngsters) that I would have to go into their novice class because i did not know enough lateral work. i then ended up having private lessons instead to discover how rubbish I was at how to get the horse 'on the bit' and how I found it difficult to 'know what the horse was doing underneath' i learnt from the lessons but did feel completely useless after them and dreaded the next one. I am now about to start getting lessons at my yard on my own horse. At the moment I am happy facing roadworks and hedge cutting tractors with flashing lights out hacking but am avoiding the school in case I can't manage to do a circle that doesn't look like a squashed tomato. i think self confidence is a huge factor and as adults we try and think about how we are doing whereas children simply do what they are told without thinking at all.

i don't know if any of that makes sense or if I'm waffling!! :o

[rubysmum]

the more i read posts on this site, the more I notice how often people beat themselves up about their riding ability [and this is often people who clearly have years of skills & knowledge behind them] & it strikes me that its a particulalry [but maybe not exclusively] female thing - i know of male riders who are clearly rubbish - one guy i know got 24 faults at a local show & just laughed about it - but don't somehow equate real or imagined riding faults as further proof that they are rubish themselves - it feels as though we internalise issues around riding and use these to punish ourselves - like everyone else i've had the dark teatime of the soul - particulalry in the school - its so unforgiving & illuminates tiny faults wiv a great big torch - but am really trying to live by my new riding mantra - ITS MEANT TO BE A FUN HOBBY !!! [ i know thats not approprite for everyone here] - but i'm really trying to stay focussed on WHY i ride rather than why other people ride so that i dont need to take on or feel treatened by their agendas. As a working fulltime, stretched,poor & harrased single parent, the world is full of people telling me what i'm doing wrong - my horse space is something i have for myself which is meant to nurture me and help me deal with the rest of my life - i REALLY don't belive that my horses life or mine is truly enriched by her being on the bit or riding in a fab outline [altho nice when it happens] but the day i saw the hares boxing in a field or the time [see earlier post] when my daughter "beat" the racehorses or [fill your own happy memory here] have made my life happier - sorry this is a bit long & i'm not for a second diminishing anxiety [can so be there at almost any point] - but it saddens me when i hear about what are clearly good people giving themselves such a hard time when the rest of the world will do that for you at any time - could quote Bill & Teds excellent adventure here - but it only works if you are a particular age - love to you all - increase the peace :) :)