Positive Thinking/Relaxation Tips Please (m)

[Nimbus65]

I fell off Stan on Saturday. Coming into a fence we had a difference of opinion over how to approach the fence (he wanted to canter and my instructor told me to keep him in trot) and about 10 feet before the fence he suddenly span round and put in an almighty buck. I didn't stand a chance and landed arse first (I think I've fractured my tailbone).

I was good/brave and got straight back on and walked, trotted and cantered him and trotted him over some poles, and I wasn't worried but I did notice that I was reluctant to tap him up when he got lazy over the poles.

Stan DOES buck (usually in response to a reminder to get on and do some work) - and usually I can sit them and growl at him/remind him again. But he's never been unpredictable before and this came out of the blue. Apparently he's been grumpier than usual lately . . . he kicked one of the yard helpers who was in his box with him rugging him up, and he kicked one of the other horses in a lesson (who is now lame). I think he's school sour (he gets bored easily) and I also wonder if he's in pain somewhere through his back, but b/c he's a schoolie (and I don't own him), there's not much I can do about it . . . although it makes me very sad b/c I'm very fond of him.

I do, however, need to make sure this doesn't dent my confidence. It's been almost 2 years since I last fell off - my confidence has really improved since the fall that had me ambulanced to hospital and I've been really enjoying learning to jump. I'm not a small person, so I tend to ride the horses capable of carrying me and two of them are out of work at the moment (both lame), so it's likely that I'll have Stan often . . . I don't want to back off him, I'm a firm believer of self-fulfilling phrophesies and I know that if I get on him expecting him to either be lazy or act up, he will.

What can I do between now and my next lesson (Thursday evening) to keep my confidence up? Any meditation techniques, chemicals, favourite tips for restoring/keeping confidence?

N

[NoviceNic]

When I fall I always like to laugh my head off. I fell, so what, I am still alive. Yeee Haa type PMA...:D After all we are riding unpredictable beasts with no back up brakes when required. :rolleyes: What is your strongest area of ridden work??? I would personally concentrate on doing this on your next lesson so that you come away with a smile on your face.

Hope the COX's isnt too painful...:o

[Retty]

Had a bad fall years ago (horse reared on concrete and landed on my coxis - cant spell it but the bottom of my back), took a while to get my confidence back but the two things that helped me were:

I gave my fear a name and 'body' - he was a guinea pig called fear, I used to mentally sit him on the fence and tape his mouth!! Yes, I sound completely mad but it did help as used to make me giggle to myself!

Secondly I used to remind myself that my biggest tool against anything happening was confidence, so I would imagine how I wanted the ride to go before I even got on.

Hope this helps :D

[Nimbus65]

Oh wow . . . I really like that imagery (the guinea pig) . . . it's tangible and it's funny (key to dispelling the wobblies). Mind if I borrow it?

Thanks so much!

Side question - four days on and I still can't sit down . . . when you broke your coccyx did you have to stop riding and, if so, for how long?

I'm currently supposed to be riding on Thursday evening and I'm really not sure whether I should/can.

N

[Skib]

It very often happens that what I do (with help of my RI) is absolutely different from what others say on NR.

I never push it, nor gear myself up nor grit my teeth.
Your body -
After any fall you first need to make sure your body is healed properly. While you are not riding you (often) put on weight and get stiff. So when you get on a horse again -whether the next week or the next month, you are likely to be tense physically as well as mentally?
Physically I am still not back to where I was before I fell in early October. For me too it was the first fall in two years and as I am old I thought seriously about giving up.
Your mind
While one is phsyically bruised or especially if one has had a knock to the head, one shouldnt try anything challanging. I rereat to second childhood, pony ride type riding. I start just in the school and when I feel fit to hack, even hacking, the first day out I dont canter at all.
Taking it step by step dispells the nerves. My first canter after a break (even a holiday) may be a bit stiff and bumpy, but I warn the people who teach me and just go a little way. By the next time the pleasure kicks in and I am back to normal.
While you are recovering, there are lots of things you can do on a horse or teach a horse on the flat which require your brain rather than physical prowess. If you ride some difficult things which require concentration, neither you nor the horse has time to be distracted. rather than "cure" your fear, you wont even think about it.
The Horse
As for this horse Stan - you dont have to abdicate control. You can impose your authority on him from the start next lesson just while doing the above exercises. The problem here doesnt sound to be you or the horse but the group lesson? One of the reasons I think group lessons are more dangerous. . . . because what your post seems to say is that you are in a class situation which leaves you little choice, and how can you turn a blind eye to the issues that have come up?

In your place I would ask for a private lesson and/or talk to the teacher about what you will and wont do with the horse in the next class. Managing that horse would be top of my agenda. Starting with little details. And that is where confidence will come from.

[Nimbus65]

Skib - thanks - actually this was a private lesson :eek:

My instructor just pinged me to ask me if the fall had knocked my confidence and my answer really is that I don't know.

I know myself. I know that I was reluctant to tap him up once I got back on him immediately after the fall. I know that there's a small voice in the back of my mind that's saying "he's unpredictable" which is not something I ever thought of him before . . . but then I guess by definition ALL horses are unpredictable.

I don't feel as though I'm wanting to gear up or grit my teeth . . . I just know that I was very happy to get on him and be (relatively) positive with him immediately after the fall (got a lovely, rhythmical canter out of him) and I don't want the little gremlins to get to work in my head in the meantime and talk me INTO being afraid. I've worked too damned hard to regain my confidence after that massive fall and bolt w/ Otis to take more than a couple of baby steps backwards.

I agree with you about my body healing. I'm really struggling with whether or not I should ride on Thursday. I cancelled some meetings in London today because I couldn't face trains, taxis and conference room chairs . . . perhaps sitting on a (relatively) hard saddle is a bad idea . . . although the lesson before the fall, I never got out of walk b/c I was working on creating/containing energy, so I suppose I could do something like that.

Thanks for your thoughts/words.

N

[Retty]

Hi there Nimbus you are welcome to use Fear the Guinea Pig :D

I didnt break my coccyx but had alot of damage to it and surrounding areas, I was under the physio for about 3 months, I wasn't supposed to ride at all in that time but I have to say I did after about 5 weeks but only in walk and on a very quiet horse this time!