Combatting Nerves...

[*Sez*]

Recently, I have been exercising my friend's horse while she recouperates from a broken shoulder and Salsa has been recovering from a sorely back, and I have an awful confession to make...

I had forgotten that riding could be so much fun! On Dante, I am perfectly happy to canter both in the school and out on hacks, and I am LOVING jumping - nothing phases him and I feel confident that he will carry me over. Don't get me wrong, I adore Salsa, and enjoy riding him, but it always feels like such hard work, both training him, and keeping on top of my nerves that he will run away with me. I've won half the battle - I know now that I CAN canter confidently, and my RI was so pleased with me in my lesson this evening and said she has never seen me ride so well... she can't wait to get me trying out my new-found confidence and reawakened love of riding on my own horse... :eek: :eek:

The idea of anything faster than a trot on Salsa terrifies me. I have tried Rescue Remedy, deep breathing techniques, Reiki, hyponosis, meditation... everything I can think of to calm my nerves as I know that the more worried I am, the worse he will behave. But I so want to really love riding my own horse again, as we were before April. My relationship with him is very solid, and on the ground I trust him completely, but I can't get over the nagging feelings whenever I get onboard. We've just got a new saddle, and I hope this will help, but I know a lot of the issue is my own fear.

Sorry this has gotten so long... I just really needed to vent! :rolleyes: :o

[nicolaj]

I really know where you are coming from!

For some reason I have the same block with my own horse. Just a bundle of nerves, okay to handle on the ground, took him during summer to in-hand classes, but the thought of getting on and riding him reduced me to a gibbering wreck!

Yet I am reasonably confident to get on a ride different horses. One I nearly bought, but he failed the vetting, gave me so much confidence that I even managed a little Xpole! My instructer was gobsmacked when I told her! Even hubby said he hadn't seen me grin that much when riding.

I've tried the books, hypnothereapy (hacking with confidence), Rescue Remedy, self-belief, yet still struggling!

For me I think I've lost my confidence in the horse himself. Up until April/June I was going great guns and then, well I'm not sure what went wrong.:confused:

Sorry haven't got any practical advice to offer, but at least you're not alone!;)

Be interesting to know if anybody else has overcome the same problem with their own horse and how.

[Afellpony]

You wanna research into why you are so nervous of your own horse be it riding handling or whatever. Has something happened to you to make you frightened?
1 How long have you been riding for?
2 Have you got children (some peeps with children are naturally nervous for
obvious reasons.
Perhaps you should set yourself goals - doesn't matter how long you take to achieve them. This may go some way to helping you get over your fear. I'm not going to say that you're being silly because to you, it's very real, not silly at all!!!
Are you able to ride often? The more you ride the horse, the better you should feel about it.
On the other hand, perhaps he's just not the horse for you.

[*Sez*]

It was an accident that has made me nervous. I've been riding since I was two years old (now 22), and I usually ride most days, when I am not suffering too badly with my joints, or my horse is not lame or missing a shoe :rolleyes:. I have NEVER been a nervous rider. I am the sort of person who shrugs off a fall and leaps back on, and when I worked on yards, I always ended up exercising the "difficult" horses. I was once bucked off by one of the more awkward ones, and got back on him with a dislocated shoulder to prove to him that there was no reason to be so silly and that the corner of the arena wouldn't eat him - nothing bothered me except having a horse walk all over me! :o

Salsa was very ill in February, and I honestly thought I was going to loose him. When he came back into work in late March, we took things very slowly, as I had fallen down a flight of stairs at work and damaged my already dodgy back, and was on the road to recovery myself. In mid-April, he bolted through the woods with me and we collided with another horse and rider. She broke her leg, and I still have no real feeling under my left arm from the awkward landing. Fortunately both the horses were fine, but the bolt was the start of me having a really good look at Salsa's back. It turned out that the saddle that had fitted perfectly in February was painful and pinching, and he has had physio sessions, numerous saddle fittings, etc to try to put it right. Every time I have tried to canter on him since then, I have come off, including once in a lesson when I seriously thought we were going to crash through the arena fence. I know the root of the problem is my own fear of cantering making him think there's something to be frightened of, but I keep remembering that terrifying gallop through the woods and slamming into the side of that other horse - it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I think it is just a case of trying to rebuild my trust in him, and his in me. Like I said, on the ground we have a very good relationship and he is a very good boy - he tries his heart out to please me. When I get on him, I am perfectly content to walk and trot around and we sometimes even pop over a little pole from a trot, which is fine.

I have been so disappointed in myself because at the time after the accident, I was certain I would get back on and be okay, like I always had before. I have had some very nasty falls over my time riding, but it has never ever damaged my confidence like this.

[Alfies-slave]

I know where you are coming from!

I suffer the same problem! I get to know my horses very well. Too well, and that is the rub! Every horse has its issues and I know what my horses issues are. It is just a matter of familiarity breeding contempt, or fear in this case. If you ride the same horse every day for years you have unpleasant experiences from time to time. You build up a healthy respect for your horses, this can cross the line in to fear and loss of confidence.

When I get on a friends horse there is no (or little) history between us so you take things at face value. I hunted a friends horse the other week and had a very pleasant stress free day. Boosted my confidence no end! I only found out afterwards that the horse CAN be a total nutter, bordering on dangerous when I mentioned the ride to another friend. Now, if I had known what I know now I wouldn't have climbed on board let alone hunted the beastie!

[Skyhuntress]

Have you tried being asked to be put on a lunge?
I remember when Limerick broke my arm so badly. Not only did it take some guts for me to get back on (after all, for the first 2 months, they thought I'd have paralysis), but cantering made me have such a sick feeling in my stomach.

Finally I got sick of my own nerves and asked to be put on a lunge, and I must have cantered 15 minutes straight. Once I got past that intial fear, no more problems.

Sounds like you are kinda in the same boat I was....anticipating all sorts of problems that you make yourself nuts ;) Sometimes, you need to compromise with yourself. Ask your trainer to put you on a lunge line, take a deep breath and go for it. He won't bolt, and it should help regain some of your confidence to know that he CAN canter without bolting.

[BeachRiding]

Agree with Stormarion, the lunge got me over lots of silly fears that I had!

[Equi Sense]

I wonder if to combat nerves you can access skills in your life unrelated to riding that you use perhaps in home life or at work?

I am researching the transferring of life skills to riding skills and I have a few ideas you may like to try - no obligations and no fees.

I am a qualified NLP Practitioner and would normally charge for the advice I provide in life coaching and business coaching - however I am wanting to find a way to share the skills I have in order to develop a riding skills and confidence building course. Anyone volunteering now will get to be part of the research and of course be totally free. I can advise about 5 people online initially then over phone or via email if you think it is helping at all.

If you are interested - please post or message me.

Julia

Experience of first pony purchase nerves for a child, lack of confidence after a fall and facing a challenge to success - first dressage and show jumping competitions and much more. I do not ride and I am happy to work with your Riding Instructor.

[*Sez*]

Hi Julia,
I'm very interested, and have posted on your other thread. If there's any space, I'd love to volunteer. :)