I understand exactly how u feel 'nerves' ect. I have alays had horses but tended to be a happy hacker/charging round bridle paths ect. When I moved house and didnt have any land I put him at a local livery yard which was close to a Local riding club. I decided to tidy him up a bit and perhaps do a little in hand class or smething simplelike best turned out ect.
To say I was nervous was the underestimation of the year!.. couldnt sleep night before. I had a big grey at the time and had to get up early as he loved to have nce stable stains all over him!
I also found an excellent hacking type jacket in local charity shop it cost m about£2.00 and had suede patches on elbows was great! and some leather beige gloves for about 20p !
When we got there I didnt even knoiw how to sign in ect! but aways lots of friendly people to ask!
I watched some classes ( a really good point there ) that camed me down alot an saw what was expected of me. Didnt look so scary after all!
When we were called it ring I just remembered to be polite to the judge and listen and watch to see what was going on, and what we had to do.
I watched the others how they did thee little show and then it was my turn!
The judge told me exactly what she wanted me to do just walk away from her turn around and trot back and past her then bring hore to halt next to her were she looked over him again. He was always a bit funny with his back end so before hand did alot of prctising walking behind him ect which paid of!
to my delight we came 4th out of about 9 or 10 so was really chuffed with that!
After that day I wished I had done shows years ago !
Plus bacon butty van always at hand lol !! after the early start with no brekky lol !!
Good luck to u and I hope you regain your confidence. A good thought is to think everyone was there once, and theres always helpful advice around!
Hope you continue with i and good luck with your 4 year old.

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