Help with my confidence!

[Tracey Lou]

Hi All

I am a new member and really need some help. I have been riding for a year now and have loved every minute of it. At 38, I do have anxieties. Back in September last year whilst cantering I had a bad fall and broke 2 ribs. Obviously I was out of action for a while, but could not wait to get back into the saddle. Recently I started to canter again and realised that it was superb. I really needed to get my confidence back in canter as I was going on a weeks riding holiday. It felt really good and my confidence increased no end. However, the first day of my holiday, before even leaving the yard a fellow rider had an extremely bad accident where by the horse completely lost it and galloped of down the road bucking and rearing, the poor lady ended up in a very bad way, flat on her back in the middle of the road. This was only one of a number of things that happened. I should have stayed until Friday, but came back yesterday because I felt completely unsafe, although nothing actually happened to me. It has really made me loose my confidence again. I actually booked a lesson with my riding school for today to regain my confidence. It didn't appear to happen. I felt very confident. Mounted with no problem and started with a walk and then a steady trot. However, the horse I ride spooked at the gallery (she does this all the time and it never bothers me) and I completely lost it. I actually felt scared and very nervous, more so than I did on my very first riding lesson, and that was bad enough. I really felt like getting off, but did not. I knew if I did I would never get back on. I really can't understand why I feel like this. Nothing actually happened to me on the holiday. I never came of and was able to control the horse I rode. Has anyone else felt like this? I have actually booked another lesson for Saturday, but I am still feeling awful. I don't want to stop riding I love it so much. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks

[Nhi]

What an awful string of events. I can understand why you are anxious.

I would advise telling your instructor what happened and how it has made you feel. Personally I feel that you need to reinstate your confidence in walk and trot. Perhaps splash out on a (few?)private lesson(s) and ask to do non-threatening stuff initially to get you relaxed. A lunge lesson on a quiet horse to confirm/improve your position and balance might also be a good idea. Your instructor is the best person to help you through this as he/she knows you as a rider, knows the horses and ought to be able to take you back to where you are comfortable and build up from there.

Good luck.

[Top Banana]

You poor thing! I would probley have a few private lessons to regain your confidence maybe for half an hour, just do as much as you feel confident with. I hope it all goes well. I had a fall last year (my first one for about 10 years), I had no choice but to get back on as we were miles from home on a hack. I found that I soon regained my confidence!

Good luck x

[Bertie]

How terrible a confidence knock like that can be terrible - I think Nhi advice for getting a couple of private and lunge lessons is definately a good one. You can work with your instructor on your basics again just to regain confidence.

It is normal to be scared by others experience and it hads happened to me as well. I was scared to ride two of the larger (16.2hh+) mares at my school because I've seen them play up and people come off them but when I've ridden them now I absolutely love riding them.

Persevere with your confidence and take little "baby steps" in gaining it back, it should be fun and enjoyable. Bounderies should be pushed a little each level so you and your confidence improves but don't overstrech yourself.

Good luck

[Esther.D]

It will come back, but you need to take little steps and have patience with yourself. I lost a lot of confidence when I saw my O/H have a bad fall which resulted in a couple of broken ribs and looked horrific (he went backwards out of the saddle, broke his ribs on the cantle and was kicked by the horse bucking on his way down). However I am getting back again (he has regained his confidence quicker than I have ) so it does return It is often scarier to see a bad fall than to have one, it seems to have a greater affect on the nerves, I think when you are the one falling everything happens so fast you hardly know what hit you, whereas the person watching sees the full horror of it, especially as many falls look worse than they actually are.

Keep persevering

[LittleD]

Tracey Lou
Take a look at the Mature Riders section! You will find you're not on your own where nerves are an issue and the replies and support are really helpful, if I have a had a bad day or feeling really nervous (deep breath at the thought of putting my foot in the stirrup) I have a quick read of past posts and at least I know I am not on my own

Like you nothing really bad has happened to me, sure I been bucked off twice and mare backed up, trod on her own hoof and ended up sitting down with me on her once but I've only ended up with a bruise here and there, so why nervous? You tell me, I think at the end of the day you've just got to get on and do it, but I know that's easier said than done. Can you lunge a horse? Sometimes if you can watch her in motion it makes you realise that she's not doing anything that bad when she's underneath you. Good luck!

[imabrit_us]

Sometimes the confidence loss creeps up on you . . . and multiple incidents can have a cumulative effect. I'm the same age as you and have only been riding for about 7 months. I took a nasty spill a couple of months ago and was perfectly fine in the first weeks after the fall . . . it was only a month on that I fell to bits. The good news is that my confidence is now very nearly fully restored.

Be kind to yourself. Try and analyze exactly WHAT happened and WHAT scared you. I became completely unable to canter after my fall until I realized that what actually made me fall off was not the speed/canter (horse I was riding bolted), but the fact that he went sideways first so that I was never truly balanced in the canter from the start. I can't tell you how much that realization helped . . . unblocked my "I can't canter" thought cycle.

Take it as slow as you need to. Have some longe lessons. Get your balance (physical and emotional) back at your own pace. I was talking to a woman at my stables who had a fall like mine and didn't ride again for ten years . . . so you should be very proud of yourself for getting right back on.

N

[Crazyhorse]

Poor you

I know exactly how you feel as I felt like that at the beginning of the year. The horse bolted off and then threw in a huge buck. I thought right get back on and I'll be fine. I was but it was the weeks after that I completely freaked. I was petrified in trot even though I was riding a horse who was very safe. At this time I was sharing a lesson with another girl and felt that me being wussy was holding her back.I hated the thought of being in the particular outdoor arena I fell off in. I had a couple of private lunge lessons just half an hour ( thats all I could take!) My riding school actually closed shortly after so I had to find a new one. It did me the world of good and I have been having private half hour lessons and feeling full of confidence. I still get oooh scary moments, but am able to control it. I think you just need to take it slowly do what you feel comfortable with and explain to your instructor. I think you are right to have another lesson on Sat. Taking small steps will have your confidence back in no time.

I wish you all the luck

Vicky

[Tracey Lou]

Thank you all for the confidence boost! I must admit I have spent most of today looking through different forums, especially the Mature Rider forum. I am now beginning to realise I can do this! After reading some other postings I am realising that everyone has a confidence failure at sometime or other, but given time and patience you get over it.

I am feeling more confident and am starting to look forward to tomorrow's lesson, I think!

Thanks for all the support!