Maybe try something to distract yourself? Like humming a song every time you start thinking about something bad that may happen.
Try to be in the moment a bit more and take 1 step at a time. I suffer with nerves too and usually just tell myself that I'll get on and just stand there and I tell myself I can just get off at any time. It works for me and we usually do really well.
I am the same as you, generally a bit of a worrier! I tend to find if I can keep things organised I feel better. If I get up just a bit earlier and write lists which I can cross things off it helps.
I have had many gin and tonics as I write this though and that definitely helps!!
I'm so like you laceyfreckle. My husband has said that to me even a desert spoon is dangerous!!
There's always the voice telling you that something is going to go wrong and on the good days you can just go do it before starting to think it through.
I'd thought about NLP which I think is on a thread at the moment in 'Mature Riders' section. It's about a course that I wish was close to me.
I have a tendency to over think things too. Someone told me that a lot of intelligent women have this tendency!
I find being prepared helps me. As in thinking about what exercises I am going to do, how I'm going to do them etc. Also, taking things at your own pace and not worrying about what other people are doing so you're not putting additional pressure on yourself.
Maybe if you have a plan of action for some of the things you are worrying about? Like if he spooks in the school what would be the best thing to do to handle the situation. You could also practice things that would help getting out of situations that worry you. Eg, I was worried my horse would tank off while I was long-lining, so we did some emergency stops so I knew it would work and he knew I could stop him.
You could also try some meditation or have some massage - just for general relaxation.
Its only nateral to worry your a mother with responsibilitys the last thing you need is to be laid up due to horse related incident. I do sometimes over think but I just try to put it all in prespective why should our gallop across the forest be any different to all the other times. If im still strulling stay within ** comfort zone and do things gradually you' ll get their rome wasnt buil in a day! Xx
tiga that is such a good reply. a lot of us do over anylyse and pre-worry about things, and tiga's suggestion is a good way of harnessing the tendancy to work for us. i too am a great one for putting it all under the microscope and going over and over it, before and after, but i never actually worry about it when i am on or with the horses, so i think the best way to go is work with it, so its a help and not a hindrance. it's far better to be able to think about things than not be able to, after all!
In non horsey life I am a list writer (even if the lists are sometimes just contained in my head) and like to be organised, hate to keep other people waiting so I know days in advance of workmen arriving or appts I have etc what needs to be done and when and have things all planned out.....probably so that I can stay in control.
I am planning on trying hypnotherapy again if I start to struggle with my confidence once i get back in the saddle (if I can ever find the right or nearly rioght horse!!!) because I used this to cope with another stressful area of my life and it worked very, very well so I see no reason why it can't work to help me be a more relaxed and confident rider............and tbh it was such a lovely relaxing experience once I stopped "fighting" the therapist and allowed my brain to stop working - took about 3 sessions for that to happen!
So I would suggest that wouldn't do any harm for you.....is sooooo relaxing.
Best Advice I ever had was from here, and it was "Small Steps" take it slowly, don't push because other people think you should, do what you are comfortable with and no more, time works wonders!
Confindence comes once every small step mastered, that might take weeks, but one done, move forward, and only when you are ready.
what about visualisation, where you can see yourself enjoying a nice ride or a nice canter and feel happy and relaxed?
i've used this way a few times before.
i've also used the remedy, i think it's called rescue but i think there is also another one.
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Hypnotherapy certainly helped me, and visualisation worked well as part of that.
If you work on the principle that thinking about something makes it more likely to happen, it makes sense to concentrate on the things that could/will go right. If you're told NOT to think of pink elephants, you can't get them out of your head. Much better to anticipate the pleasurable aspects of riding.
Of course, this could include meeting - and coping with - potential problems. Visualising coping well with a spook, for example, will actually help you should the real thing occur.
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