Had a few tears today but I've cancelled this weeks riding lessons and said I'm having "some time off". I recently started riding again after 15+ years, not ridden since I was a teenager. I really loved riding and thought I was doing ok. Slowly started losing confidence so I took up private lessons too. I finally dared to canter. Loved it until the riding school horse bolted in the nature reserve where we hack out. I was upset but then the instructors (seperately) started telling me what else I could be spending the (nearly £40 a week) on, holidays, beauty treatments etc. I assume that this is their way of saying I'm wasting their time. I'm a bit gutted as I love horses and enjoyed riding, contrary to what my instructors thought. I told them that I was quitting and they didn't try to persuade me otherwise. Don't know of any riding schools nearby so guess that I'm just not cut out to be a rider :cry: xxx
Don't think I'm cut out to be a rider :-(
- Thread starter proudmummy
- Start date
It sounds like you need to find a new instructor hun! Someone who actually cares about your confidance rarther than the money!
Im sure there someone out there to help you, you might have to travel further from home but its worth it for the right help!
Dont give up just yet!! :smile:
Im sure there someone out there to help you, you might have to travel further from home but its worth it for the right help!
Dont give up just yet!! :smile:
And breathe...
Yes, you could spend the money on getting your hair and nails done but it doesn't sound as though this will make you happy. Where abouts in the country are you and maybe someone on here could suggest another riding school for you to try? maybe one with more sympathic intructors!
If you enjoy spending time with horses, then dont give up just yet:smile:
and look on the bright side, you didnt fall off when the horse took off with you, so your riding cant be that bad!:smile:
Yes, you could spend the money on getting your hair and nails done but it doesn't sound as though this will make you happy. Where abouts in the country are you and maybe someone on here could suggest another riding school for you to try? maybe one with more sympathic intructors!
If you enjoy spending time with horses, then dont give up just yet:smile:
and look on the bright side, you didnt fall off when the horse took off with you, so your riding cant be that bad!:smile:
Oh god don't do that!
You sound just like me - read far too much into things!!!
Everyone & anyone can ride - if they're happy to accept the fact they may not make it to Olympia or something I'm pretty sure they can have as much fun messing about at lower level!
My horse has had a diff rider this week because I'm too fat for him, and watching her ride has got me thinking similar stuff to you. He goes so well for her & she gets him to do amazing things, and I have the shame but balls to ask her what she's doing... and how! Dreading getting back on, he's gonna think wtf are you doing?!!!
But I'll have to persevere & just do my best because I love him & love riding (badly
).
Have you got somewhere else you try - not a RS but a trekking centre or something? Somewhere a little less toffy & less pressurised & somewhere you can just enjoy yourself?!
You sound just like me - read far too much into things!!!
Everyone & anyone can ride - if they're happy to accept the fact they may not make it to Olympia or something I'm pretty sure they can have as much fun messing about at lower level!
My horse has had a diff rider this week because I'm too fat for him, and watching her ride has got me thinking similar stuff to you. He goes so well for her & she gets him to do amazing things, and I have the shame but balls to ask her what she's doing... and how! Dreading getting back on, he's gonna think wtf are you doing?!!!
But I'll have to persevere & just do my best because I love him & love riding (badly
).Have you got somewhere else you try - not a RS but a trekking centre or something? Somewhere a little less toffy & less pressurised & somewhere you can just enjoy yourself?!
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You poor thing. I agree find a new instructor - even if you have to travel further or have lessons less often. Where are you based? Maybe someone on here will know someone good.
Honestly I am a nervous, slow to learn adult rider. I'm sure I can be frustrating to teach because of my nerves, but I don't care cos I love riding and its my money! And I've come on leaps and bounds since I found a RI who is calm and sympathetic to my nerves - but pushes me just enough!
Don't let unenthusiastic instructors put you off.
Honestly I am a nervous, slow to learn adult rider. I'm sure I can be frustrating to teach because of my nerves, but I don't care cos I love riding and its my money! And I've come on leaps and bounds since I found a RI who is calm and sympathetic to my nerves - but pushes me just enough!
Don't let unenthusiastic instructors put you off.
sending hugs!!! please don't give up...been there felt like that and luckily had some good people to help me. Agree with the others there will be Ris out there hopefully near you that would not let you give up and help you focus on the positives while working on the things you need to :smile:
Ooh, please think hard about giving up! OK, if you feel a bit cheesed off at the moment you could give it a rest for a few weeks, but it sound to me as if you really do enjoy it. I've given up a various points in my life, for periods of 10 years or more, for various reasons.
But I ALWAYS come back to it. If horses are in your blood no matter how useless you feel (or how poor a rider you may be made to feel by an unthinking instructor :redcarded you will always want to have another go. I'm in my 50's now, and having been really nervous when I started again I'm finally finding my feet.
I agree with what the others have said. Try and find somewhere else, even if it means going less regularly. It may be just this one place that doesn't suit you.
But I ALWAYS come back to it. If horses are in your blood no matter how useless you feel (or how poor a rider you may be made to feel by an unthinking instructor :redcarded
you will always want to have another go. I'm in my 50's now, and having been really nervous when I started again I'm finally finding my feet.I agree with what the others have said. Try and find somewhere else, even if it means going less regularly. It may be just this one place that doesn't suit you.
I would be looking for a new instructor/place to ride. If you have the confidence to go out hacking and canter you obviously enjoy riding.
Don't assume anything from your 'instructors'! I occasionally suggest that a client goes trekking or something similar to refresh their interest/ rediscover the fun of riding ..if they reach a 'wall'. Clearly however your instructors are more interested in beauty than your riding...find new ones don't give up !!
Don't assume anything from your 'instructors'! I occasionally suggest that a client goes trekking or something similar to refresh their interest/ rediscover the fun of riding ..if they reach a 'wall'. Clearly however your instructors are more interested in beauty than your riding...find new ones don't give up !!
Oh bless you proudmummy - you must be feeling really sad after all that. Don't lose heart... even if you were truly a terrible rider (which you clearly are not to have got this far), these so-called instructors are not people who are able to teach properly as the largest part of their role is to help you get the most out of your riding and make you feel safe and confident in your abilities.
It's YOUR dream so take charge of it and make it happen. You'll find a new instructor if you ask around and I bet you are soon posting here about how amazed you are with your own progress. Honestly, good instructors are harder to find but having lessons with one will help you set yourself straight on your pat to where you want to be with your riding.
Wallow for a day then pick yourself up and go out and do what you truly want to do - whether it's doing your nails or dressage. Good luck!
It's YOUR dream so take charge of it and make it happen. You'll find a new instructor if you ask around and I bet you are soon posting here about how amazed you are with your own progress. Honestly, good instructors are harder to find but having lessons with one will help you set yourself straight on your pat to where you want to be with your riding.
Wallow for a day then pick yourself up and go out and do what you truly want to do - whether it's doing your nails or dressage. Good luck!
Definitely try and find a new RI. My RI mainly teaches children and novice adults. Her main strengths are building confidence and having fun. She never pushes much beyond confidence levels. Plus she has a few horses that never put the slightest hoof wrong.
You may have to travel, but definitely don't give up
You may have to travel, but definitely don't give up
Gosh you sound like me 6 years ago. I too returned to riding after a long break having last ridden regularly in my teens.
I had a real crisis when I realised that both my nerve and my body weren't capable of nowhere near the levels I used to achieve. I told myself I wasn't worthy, that the horses deserved better than me and that it was all pointless because I was never going to be any good and I could never do what I used to do.
To cut a long story short, I realised I hadn't returned to horses for it to be a sport. I wanted to hack and enjoy my time with horses. I am more than capable of hacking safely and do so solo so I can enjoy my time with the ponies undisturbed. I'm never going to be any good but I am good enough to do what I want to do and that's all that matters. I read about NR members having lessons on their horses and thinking I ought to do the same. Upshot is I don't want to! I'm happy doing what I'm doing and can do it well enough.
I really feel for you, your post brings back how raw I felt back then. I guess the thing is to think about what it is you want from your return to horses. If you want to ride at Olympia you might want to reassess, if you want to enjoy yourself playing horses and maybe do some local comps then why not do that and find yourself an instructor that understands you and your needs to help you. Just because somebody is qualified to teach doesn't mean they are the best teacher for you.
Now get thinking about what you want and make it happen! You'll be nervous but it'll be worth it xx
I had a real crisis when I realised that both my nerve and my body weren't capable of nowhere near the levels I used to achieve. I told myself I wasn't worthy, that the horses deserved better than me and that it was all pointless because I was never going to be any good and I could never do what I used to do.
To cut a long story short, I realised I hadn't returned to horses for it to be a sport. I wanted to hack and enjoy my time with horses. I am more than capable of hacking safely and do so solo so I can enjoy my time with the ponies undisturbed. I'm never going to be any good but I am good enough to do what I want to do and that's all that matters. I read about NR members having lessons on their horses and thinking I ought to do the same. Upshot is I don't want to! I'm happy doing what I'm doing and can do it well enough.
I really feel for you, your post brings back how raw I felt back then. I guess the thing is to think about what it is you want from your return to horses. If you want to ride at Olympia you might want to reassess, if you want to enjoy yourself playing horses and maybe do some local comps then why not do that and find yourself an instructor that understands you and your needs to help you. Just because somebody is qualified to teach doesn't mean they are the best teacher for you.
Now get thinking about what you want and make it happen! You'll be nervous but it'll be worth it xx
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Sorry to hear you are feeling like this, just bear in mind YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Many of us on here have suffered/will suffer/are suffering the sort of confidence issues you talk about. And I have to say your RI's sound like lazy s*d's to me, they are the ones who want an easy ride - and I agree with what others have said, it may be better to find another school even if it's further away and you can't go so often.
You have had your reasons for wanting to learn to ride. Maybe it would help to close your eyes and go through what those reasons were in your mind. It may help strengthen your resolve to carry on.
Ooohhhh, the more I think about it the angrier I'm feeling towards your RI's!!!
As someone else said, it may help if you give an idea of whereabouts in the country you are. Someone on here may well know a good RS in your area.
I hope you get this sorted hun, I really do. Don't give up something you love because of some thoughtless remarks by a couple of numpty's.
You have had your reasons for wanting to learn to ride. Maybe it would help to close your eyes and go through what those reasons were in your mind. It may help strengthen your resolve to carry on.
Ooohhhh, the more I think about it the angrier I'm feeling towards your RI's!!!
As someone else said, it may help if you give an idea of whereabouts in the country you are. Someone on here may well know a good RS in your area.
I hope you get this sorted hun, I really do. Don't give up something you love because of some thoughtless remarks by a couple of numpty's.
Find somewhere else and refresh your interest. You'd be amazed at how a new, good instructor can whet your appetite again.
Tell us where you are and we'll all wrack our brains and see if we can't come up with the name of a more sympathetic enthusiastic RI.
Tell us where you are and we'll all wrack our brains and see if we can't come up with the name of a more sympathetic enthusiastic RI.
I would echo everything that has been said so far! You obviously enjoy it and that is reason enough to persevere, but to do this you need the right RI with the right attitude - your current one doesn't sound as though they're doing the trick.
Echo everything said above, don`t give up, please don`t, it sounds like you just need a different instructor. Where abouts are you, maybe someone on here could give you a number of someone they use ?
Have a look for "Enlightened Equitation" instructers, and also "Ride with your mind" instructors. I really feel for you, but keep at it, i`m so sure this is just a blip.
Have a look for "Enlightened Equitation" instructers, and also "Ride with your mind" instructors. I really feel for you, but keep at it, i`m so sure this is just a blip.
Echoing all the above, don't give up! I think we have probably all had tears and tantrums and thought we were going to quit (I certainly have :redface but we have realised in our own time that we aren't all 'cut out to be riders' and that we do it because enjoy it and love horses - and that's OK :biggrin:
Have a little breather and try a new instructor and give yourself some credit - as happyhacker101 said you didn't fall off the bolting horse so well done!
but we have realised in our own time that we aren't all 'cut out to be riders' and that we do it because enjoy it and love horses - and that's OK :biggrin:Have a little breather and try a new instructor and give yourself some credit - as happyhacker101 said you didn't fall off the bolting horse so well done!
Echo all the comments of the above! I returned to riding after 35 years, and am never going to have the confidence, strength, skill or flexibility to make a very good rider. However, I do want to continue as I (mostly) enjoy it and at 51 feel that life is too short not to do the things you enjoy.
It was NOT your fault that the horse you were on bolted (this has happened twice to me now and it scared the living c*ap out of me too). The fact that you stayed on is a credit to you.
How dare your "instructors" presume to tell you you'd be better off getting your nails done! :furious:
All I'd add to the others' helpful comments is if you decide to continue, don't leave it too long before getting back on - I'm guessing you need a boost to your confidence soonish.
It was NOT your fault that the horse you were on bolted (this has happened twice to me now and it scared the living c*ap out of me too). The fact that you stayed on is a credit to you.
How dare your "instructors" presume to tell you you'd be better off getting your nails done! :furious:
All I'd add to the others' helpful comments is if you decide to continue, don't leave it too long before getting back on - I'm guessing you need a boost to your confidence soonish.
Thanks to each of you for your kind words, just reading your comments has helped so much. I was quite proud of the fact that I didn't fall off a bolting horse but when I mentioned that to my instructor she just raised her eyebrows at me so I assumed it was no big deal. Anyway I've finished tantruming now :giggle: and I've taken on board what you all said. Ok I may never be the worlds best rider (although I'm sure I'm not quite as bad as I was made to feel) but as long as I'm safe enough for hacks I'll be more than happy. I'm not a girly girl and I'd much rather be round horses than sat in a beauty parlour, that'd be a form of torture to me, lol! I live near Wakefield/Barnsley if anyone knows of any confidence building instructors I'd be most grateful. I was looking on the internet and found a lovely place that does treks in a private wood very near to where I live, can't believe I didn't know of it before! Booked that for a week on Saturday and I'm so excited. I'll let you know how it goes. xxxx
Think it is really good you are changing schools. What on earth were they thinking about putting you on a horse that takes off? Could have been a small child on there who wouldn't have stayed on.
Am sure there are far better instructors and schools out there. Firstly well done for staying on and secondly well done for posting about it. There are thousands of people out there who wouldn't take too kindly to being taken off with on a riding school horse and thousands of riding school instructors who wouldn't expect you to.
Chin up, you will be fine.
Am sure there are far better instructors and schools out there. Firstly well done for staying on and secondly well done for posting about it. There are thousands of people out there who wouldn't take too kindly to being taken off with on a riding school horse and thousands of riding school instructors who wouldn't expect you to.
Chin up, you will be fine.
Brilliant, i`m sure this will do you the world of good.
Honestly, that instructor needs reporting :stomp: !!!
I don`t know anyone in your area, but i`ll certainly ask around for you. I`m glad you`ve found somewhere closer to you, and get out and enjoy that hacking hunny :wink:
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