Is this a completely nuts idea????

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins

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Oct 10, 2004
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Over the last week I have not enjoyed being on my yard. My vet and the staff who work at my yard have major disagreements over Ben's allergic cough and his weight. I am following my vets advice and the yard staff fiercely disagree with this, and while I am trying to rise above it, it is very hard when everyone keeps bringing it up. Apparently Ben is going to be assessed by another vet next week (at no cost to me) when I will be told that my vet is completely wrong. I really, really hate the situation I am in, everyone seems very upset and there has been lots of talking about me behind my back.

This evening a facebook advert pops up for a groom at a local racing yard. They are wanting someone to muck out mainly and the advert states that for the right applicant they will work around school hours. There may be the opportunity to bring my own horse, there is an indoor school and private off road hacking (a must for me). I currently work 16 hours a week in a job which is well paid but I passionately HATE (capital letters are needed here). Am I completely nuts to think about applying for the grooms job?? Could I absorb the drop in salary with reduced livery costs and the satisfaction of working with horses which is something I have always wanted to do? Or is a grooms job a young persons game? I am almost 40 and while I am fit and healthy, am I realistic in thinking I can do this? Am I reacting against a bad period after 5 very happy years on my yard? I do understand that the horse world is small, and once I apply there is no going back as everyone will know about it within 5 minutes. Am I crazy to even think this could work out?
 
Who is arranging for a second opinion on Ben? Sorry if I've missed something?
No you are not crazy. If you think that financially it could work for you, I don't see why you can't try it? How hard would it be to go back into the type of employment you are currently in? Just thinking if it doesn't work out and for some reason you don't enjoy it.
Also, the other thing - if it didn't work out being employed there, would that mean leaving the yard too?
I think it's pretty rotten people talking about you, you are following vets advice - and surely it really is not the yard staffs place to be casting pearls of wisdom???
 
I would be surprised if another vet would want to step on your vets toes? Assuming this is the case, ie, someone else has arranged the second opinion. I know my old vets wouldn't be happy about it at all.
 
Trewsers said:
Who is arranging for a second opinion on Ben? Sorry if I've missed something?
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The yard staff are apparently!!! We have a vets visit every Friday from the vet that the majority of clients use, and they say that they want their vet to look at Ben so that they can be sure that for their own piece of mind they are correct in their assessment of his weight. I did kind of agree to it last week when I just wanted to keep the peace (i.e. I was crying so much I would have said anything to end the conversation) but now I am not going to let it happen and this is causing yet more conflict. I don't know what to do??? They are so adamant that Ben does not need to drop any weight and that any further attempts to reduce his weight would be verging on cruel, but my vet was very, very clear that the crest was fat, the shoulder pads were fat and the ribs could not be felt. I don't want to argue about, or discuss his weight. I agree with my vet and this is the problem.
 
I don't think there is any harm in calling the yard to chat about the job :) just be a little cagey and only give your first name initially so you can get more info and there won't be any gossip that you are applying :)

Re the yard getting the vet, I think I would call my vet and explain whats going on and what the yard are doing, your vet may be inclined to put in a call to the other practice or perhaps conveniently drop by for a check up with Ben ;) I'm sure they will appreciate the heads up that their professional opinion is being seriously questioned and bad mouthed. They may encourage you to withdraw your permission for him to be examined and (your vet) write to the YM directly to reiterate their conclusion and reccomendations or perhaps encourage you to let it happen to put the issue to bed once and for all.

I'm sorry you are being made to feel so awful about all this and unhappy on your yard, its miserable xx
 
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When I was freelancing I did a stint on a race yard. Usually the horses are stabled a lot so there will be handling of them and a lot were very fiesty and wasn't for the faint hearted ! If you have the confidence to work with high energy TBs then go for it. If they are paying for a second opinion then I'd just let them! No harm is done and a second pair of eyes cast won't do any harm! End of the day you don't have to follow it as such but is all eduction as an owner. On the other hand you are bens owner and its up to you whether he's seen or not. If you don't want him seen then surely say so?
 
Gimp said:
When I was freelancing I did a stint on a race yard. Usually the horses are stabled a lot so there will be handling of them and a lot were very fiesty and wasn't for the faint hearted ! If you have the confidence to work with high energy TBs then go for it. If they are paying for a second opinion then I'd just let them! No harm is done and a second pair of eyes cast won't do any harm! End of the day you don't have to follow it as such but is all eduction as an owner. On the other hand you are bens owner and its up to you whether he's seen or not. If you don't want him seen then surely say so?
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Umm, I am not generally good with feisty horses. I don't have any experience of them really and they scare me a little. The job isn't really ideal when I stop and think about it, it just made me stop and think 'perhaps I could do it....'. I don't know. I can muck out happily for my own horse, but would I want to do this day in day out for a whole yard? I'm not sure....
 
Where I was they went on the walker while being mucked out, I was glad when that finished tbh I felt sorry for the horses and saw some horrible things :/
 
Vets are still human and they don't always get everything right, tbh I'd be interested to hear what another pair of eyes thinks about the whole situation.
 
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I'd Be telling the yard staff to go to feck quite frankly. That would be like my YM calling her vet to confirm that Kia didn't have cushings, there wouldn't be a face left for her to talk out of at the end the discussion.

Tell them it's your horse, your vet and you will arrange his care how you like! Where the heck do yard staff get the audacity to tell owners how to keep their horses?! Having been a groom then head groom on a full livery yard where I rode the horses as well I wouldn't have questioned anything an owner told me the vet had told them to do for a horses care. I may have privately thought differently but I was paid to do the job. End of.

O offence but sometimes I think owners give people this power over them by not being assertive enough. God help anyone who tried that with me.
 
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I agree with Gimp that fully stabled racehorses are not everyone's idea of fun to handle. however your yard sound a nightmare, is there no other you could move to, either at cost or in exchange for work. Please talk to your vet before allowing anyone else to pass judgement/examine your horse ,apart from any thing else it could influence any future insurance claim.
 
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Mary Poppins said:
The yard staff are apparently!!! We have a vets visit every Friday from the vet that the majority of clients use, and they say that they want their vet to look at Ben so that they can be sure that for their own piece of mind they are correct in their assessment of his weight. I did kind of agree to it last week when I just wanted to keep the peace (i.e. I was crying so much I would have said anything to end the conversation) but now I am not going to let it happen and this is causing yet more conflict. I don't know what to do??? They are so adamant that Ben does not need to drop any weight and that any further attempts to reduce his weight would be verging on cruel, but my vet was very, very clear that the crest was fat, the shoulder pads were fat and the ribs could not be felt. I don't want to argue about, or discuss his weight. I agree with my vet and this is the problem.
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Can you get your vet to speak to them? Explain and show them what they mean. Do not give in please as sooner or later this will blow over and they will move onto something or someone else. I've been through this recently with Ale and I learnt that I actually had very few friends when I thought they all were. But the most important thing is the happiness and health of my boy not some childish people who want to interfere with that. I cried, I felt so alone but I came on here and received alot of support and that got me through.
 
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Ale said:
Can you get your vet to speak to them? Explain and show them what they mean. Do not give in please as sooner or later this will blow over and they will move onto something or someone else. I've been through this recently with Ale and I learnt that I actually had very few friends when I thought they all were. But the most important thing is the happiness and health of my boy not some childish people who want to interfere with that. I cried, I felt so alone but I came on here and received alot of support and that got me through.
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I have also had something similar happen to me regarding sox too. Which caused me an awful lot of stress/ worry and tears. But I am slowly learning who t trust and more importantly who not to trust!! I too was following the vets advice aswell. Again the health of my boy was my top/main concern.

If you trust your vet I would listen to them and speak to the YO but your situation was very similar to mine. *hugs*
 
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What a nightmare for you! It does sound as though they are totally convinced that Ben is fine and your vet is incompetent. So they probsbly really do feel they are acting in his best interests and trying to reassure you rather than undermine you. In those circumstances I confess I'd be interesed in hearing another vet's view. If the 2nd vet agrees with your vet then the yard will presumably accept it. If he doesn't then maybe you do need to consider that your vet may be a little over zealous on weight? But a fatty crest is easy to identify so I find it hard to believe your vet is wrong so the 2nd vet is likely to back you up I'd have thought.
 
Re the grooming idea - I could happily work as a groom and would if I could afford it!
Only you know if the sums add up and over grooming is something you'd like. It's jolly hard work!
 
Echo what all others have said about Ben and the vets. The yard staff sound very rude!

I've worked at a lot of yards and a racing yard was my last horsey job. I would never ever do it again. I don't mind hard work but this was tough,harder than any other yard! Racers are quite feisty and can be hard to handle, especially turning out, trotting them up, sometimes just getting them on the walker was a misson. Often not the nicest either, I lost count of the amount of times I was bitten or kicked. Before I started I thought I was really going to enjoy it, the reality was very little pay for long hard hours, spending all day in the cold and wet during winter, mucking out as fast as I could pushing huge heavy wheelbarrows, nearly getting my head kicked picking feet out etc etc. Yes I definitely think it's a young persons job. Obviously all yards are different and some better than others but my advice would be NOT to rush into it thinking the grass is greener on the other side. I now work in an office which I never thought I'd do. Despite some days dreaming of working outdoors, I like the bigger salary, fixed hours, the warm and dry and most of all having the energy to do my own horses. When I worked with horses by the time I got to mine I was too tired to ride or do much with mine at all.
 
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Love to see a picture of Ben now to !? I have to admit full clipping and turning out in winter is very extreme, I had deep in conversation mentioned it to my vet here who was quite adverse to the idea even with the environment change from here. If the horse is presumably fairly fit can he really be so ghastly overweight he should be fully clipped in winter with no rugs ?
 
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Thanks everyone. It is a nuts idea! I like the theory of working with horses but in reality I think I am too old and a bit of a wuss!

The yard staff are a great bunch and they do have my best interests at heart. There is nothing majorly wrong with Ben anyway, it has just been blown out of proportion and me getting so upset doesn't help. Thanks of listening, today is a new day and I am just going to avoid any discussions and get on with enjoying nursing this cough back to health.
 
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