Wish us luck D Day Tomorrow

A one bedroom flat has come up in the complex, we have applied for it. If she gets it, she can go and look at it and decide. It's not as nice inside, needs work, and of course we got rid of all the furniture we would now need to furnish it with. But if it will shut her up about wanting a bedroom, then it will be fixed and then that's it. I don't really feel I want to do it as the studio flat is lovely, bright, clean, fresh, all painted, new floors, and it has much more storage than this one. The bathroom is awful, the doors don't work well for access, but if she wants it she can have it, And if she moans about it afterwards then so be it.
 
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diplomaticandtactful said:
A one bedroom flat has come up in the complex, we have applied for it. If she gets it, she can go and look at it and decide. It's not as nice inside, needs work, and of course we got rid of all the furniture we would now need to furnish it with. But if it will shut her up about wanting a bedroom, then it will be fixed and then that's it. I don't really feel I want to do it as the studio flat is lovely, bright, clean, fresh, all painted, new floors, and it has much more storage than this one. The bathroom is awful, the doors don't work well for access, but if she wants it she can have it, And if she moans about it afterwards then so be it.
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It's never ending for you, isn't it!?
 
Huggy said:
It's never ending for you, isn't it!?
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We went to see it yesterday, warden let us see it unofficially. The sitting room and bedroom are ok, bathroom needs to be done bath taken out, shower installed and floor done, kitchen not as nice and floor needs doing, less storage, the walk in wardrobe not as big, decor tired. the main issue is the bathroom door, it is opposite the main door in, If you are coming from the sitting room. as it opens to the right, you have to go past it, turn around, open the door to do in, tricky to do with a walker in a narrow hallway, it is ok coming from the bedroom. Where she is now she can access it in a straight line coming from the sitting room so it is much easier. The walk in wardrobe isn't shelved no hanging rails so you would need to install all that or buy wardrobes. She may not get it, will depend who is on the waiting list to get a place. It has the advantage it is on ground floor, no need to use lift, easy to get to the exit and communal lounge. Not as bright inside but if she wants a bedroom it has it.
 
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Please, if she talks about going for it. make sure she looks at it properly and say that you aren't going to redecorate or refurbish the bathroom, that she'll have to get people in to do that and pay them.
 
carthorse said:
Please, if she talks about going for it. make sure she looks at it properly and say that you aren't going to redecorate or refurbish the bathroom, that she'll have to get people in to do that and pay them.
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the bathroom has to be done as it has no shower, it is in a state, so Housing Association will have to do some work on it and social service may cover it as she can't use a bath, the flat upstairs has a walk in disabled shower so perfect, would have to do the same downstairs. I don't mind touching up the paint but will get someone in to move the furniture, curtain rails white goods etc as i got them in once and I am not doing it again. They were bloody heavy. For it to work the bathroom would need a sliding door fitted, the kitchen isn't as nice as upstairs but it is ok needs a new floor. Carpets are new. Don't mind touching up a bit of paint but with new carpets don't really want to do the walls. the fitting out of the walk in wardrobe would have to be done by a joiner the key thing is if she gets it and wants it how quick can this be done as i am not wanting to be paying for 2 places while we wait for the work to be done. Ideally if Social Services or HA do the bathroom, then the rest can be moved in and sorted out in a couple of days. Take a wheel barrow and move all the clothes like that.
 
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Id be more inclined to walk away from this one. It doesnt sound like it ticks enough boxes without making many changes.
 
chunky monkey said:
Id be more inclined to walk away from this one. It doesnt sound like it ticks enough boxes without making many changes.
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it ticks 3 major boxes, downstairs, no need to use the lift, closest to exit and it has a separate bedroom. Her mobility and eyesight make her reluctant to leave the flat upstairs which is a longer walk from the lift and exit and she finds the controls difficult in the lift. The storage will have to be managed by getting rid of stuff which given the fact she has 20 pairs of trousers that haven't been worn since she moved in, we can reduce the clothes mountain. I am sort of resigned to the fact that if it is allocated to her, she will take it and i will have to sort it out one way or another with paid help. The main issue is the bathroom, she needs a shower and her care package says so. So we need to replicate the one she has upstairs. All the one bedroom flats have the same layout, but some of them are also facing onto the car park, where emergency vehicles come extra noise, looking in windows etc. The one we saw downstairs before you have to keep the blinds down all the time as folks are looking in all the time. This one is in the optimal location . All the studio flats like she currently has if they are downstairs,they are at the far end of the corridor, so further to walk. So moving to one of them isn't a benefit. If it keeps the peace, then it will be managed somehow. But there is a waiting list of folks coming in and depends on whether her needs are greater.
 
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I think it's highly unlikely to keep the peace @diplomaticandtactful , it will just change what she complains about and she'll still want you and your husband to drop everything at her every call.
 
carthorse said:
I think it's highly unlikely to keep the peace @diplomaticandtactful , it will just change what she complains about and she'll still want you and your husband to drop everything at her every call.
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possibly so, but at least if removes 2 of her major gripes which are lack of a bedroom and she finds the flat upstair very hot - it is south facing, plus a security light in the garden shines across into it. Her mobility is getting worse, this one is closest to the door and cars. and closest to the communal lounge, so it will encourage her to go there and socialise. If it had been available when she was housed, we would have taken it instead. It is hard to be reduced to no independence, reliant on being taken out at the whim of others, fed whatever turns up, I would hate it. We could have not told her about it but i don't think it would be fair. If she is offered it, she can go and see it and she can decide, I will not make this decision. She did say she would be ok to stay where she was to save me the hassle but this one might encourage a bit more socialising and independence
 
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Unfortunately she did not get it which is hugely disappointing as i think it would have ticked all the boxes in terms of removing things that prevent her from being more active. she is still on the list to be rehomed within the complex but other 1 bed flats may still be upstairs and/or further away from the exit so this was the best shot. Annoyed, I think she was penalised as she was already living there and someone got more points simply because they weren't already living there.
 
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What is so annoying is that they had a film on in the communal room downstairs last night, she got ready to go to it, the lift wasn't working - it is temperamental - so she got into a fluster and went back to her flat in tears. If she had got the ground floor one it would have been ok
 
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Hilarious day. On Friday, I went down as the floor standing light was not working. Carers had changed the light bulb but not screwed it in correctly, so i fiddled with it and it worked.

Called again that it wasn't working. I was going to vet with Millie so was going to call in on way back but OH was let down by electrician so he went instead. Bulb was fine, light just wasn't turned on......honestly, you would have to laugh or cry wouldn't you.
 
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This is not just the case with the elderly. Years ago, when my son was about 16, he came in from school and went straight upstairs to play his computer games. Heard lots of muttering and banging, so went up to see what was going on. He was in a right tizz - stupid PlayStation! It's rubbish! Doesn't work! Need a new one! He hadn't plugged it in.
 
Huggy said:
This is not just the case with the elderly. Years ago, when my son was about 16, he came in from school and went straight upstairs to play his computer games. Heard lots of muttering and banging, so went up to see what was going on. He was in a right tizz - stupid PlayStation! It's rubbish! Doesn't work! Need a new one! He hadn't plugged it in.
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Oh yes, but the fact that the carer couldn't even put a bulb in is a bit worrying!
 
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The latest can we bring soap - must be at least 4 cakes in the bathroom cabinet - toothpaste (now that may be out and only place that sells the one she likes is Home Bargains) and can i take her to M&S in Edinburgh as someone has told her they have 'just the bras she wants' HTF would they know? She has had a mastectomy and used to wear the Nicola Jane bras - she has about 20 bras in the flat from last time i counted. But someone set the hare running again that what she needs is a sports bra. Well last time I got her one, she wouldn't wear it. There is nowhere i could take her to to try on a bra as she can't walk any distance and the M&S on princes street is a no no, the only one is the one near the airport and it is huge so it would be a wheelchair job. So i think i will just forget i heard that request and just get the toothpaste.
 
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Back to not speaking with the bitch. Last weekend, took her to Kielder, where i was doing a home check for a dog, so she had a lovely drive and came back here for dinner. We do this most weekends take her out.

OH has been poorly, very very creaky, lots of pain, plus prostate issues meaning he is up about 8 times a night - paid privately to see a urologist in Edinburgh own doctor prescribed wrong pills, so new ones give which should help the issue. So he has not been sleeping well and me neither as he wakes me every time he gets up. So banished to spare room for a bit to give me some rest.

I manage to get a stomach bug, bad gastro enteritis, up all night with the runs, so bad that if you cough or fart, you leak, Had just changed the bed the day before, and was up multiple times to go to loo and clean everything up. All linen back in wash. Weak as a kitten got the hens out, horses fed and out, didn't muck out as felt so dizzy and unwell. Having stripped the bed, went back to bed with just a duvet,

She rings at 8am. Carer says she only has 1 slice of bread and no milk - she has pitta bread and two pints of milk and we are due an order that morning which includes all the stuff she wants and which will be delivered to her that day by either OH or me. She says that the carer will go and get her stuff and puts the phone down. Tell OH who is furious as how the hell can we keep an eye on what is needed when everyone is meddling and the carers are bringing her in all sorts of suggary shit which is likely to make her diabetic, given how fat and immobile she is. OH rings her to tell her that food will be delivered later on, she puts phone down on him. OH is walking with a stick, very slow, really stiff and sore, very tired.

Me, i have gone back to bed with a jug of water and spent all day in bed, just drinking water, no food, after getting some immodium. Ring her when the delivery arrives. OH takes it down late afternoon to find that carer had been out and brought bread milk etc so brings back some of the stuff he ordered for her. She rants about never wanted to move here, hates it etc. As far as I am concerned i will happily find her a place back home and she can bugger off and get on with it.

Even OH who is much more temperate than i am was heard to say fuck off when she put the phone down on him. At the other extreme emotional blackmail, we can't ever move as we have dumped her here and she doesn't want to be here. Believe me mum if i want to move i bloody well will and you can either come stay or go back to your home town where there is NO ONE to be your slave.

Sorry if you have got as far as reading to hear, thanks,
 
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