Advice please(sorry bit long)

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Birdiemk1

New Member
Feb 10, 2008
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Hi All
Bit of advice needed please. I am a 43 yr old Mum of 3 kids my youngest 9 year old daughter who also rides We’ve both been riding 4 yrs Had loan pony beginning of this year Decided to take the plunge in Spring & bought a gorgeous little Irish cob aged 7years who was a little green but had such a laid back temperament he seemed perfect for us.
He was sold to me as a super safe confidence giver both on the ground & riding & indeed 99% of the time he was. However 3 weeks after I got him 2nd hack out (first was perfect & I had ridden him several times in school) he was like a different horse very spooky & shying at everything. On the way back at a steady walk he took off stopped dead, bucked & got me off. Someone else rode him home as I had hurt my back & I put his behaviour down to the fact that he was on very rich fresh grass which he was unused to, new surroundings & it was very windy etc. Week later I got back on & he was as good as gold in the school. In one schooling session we had 3 different people on his back & he didn’t bat an eyelid. I walked my 9 yr old round the field with him & she even cantered him & he was as good as gold even when the bird scarer went off. A couple of weeks later I was getting on him in the school when he moved forward & I landed on the back of the saddle ,he bucked me off again. Yes this time was probably my fault as I didn’t have anyone holding him. However it destroyed my confidence completely and I didn’t want to ride him again.
Because he was so good in every other way & so gentle with my daughter I kept him for another month to see how I felt & let a couple of girls on the yard ride him one of whom took him for a hack & in the same field where he got me off he tried the bucking thing with her but she rode through it & said she thought he was great & was just being silly.
As my confidence was dented so badly I let other people help to start with but this slowly just resulted in me losing even more confidence as sometimes I felt I couldn’t get near my own horse. As a novice owner it’s difficult to not be made to feel like an idiot & I let these girls gallop my horse round the fields & they said he was getting really strong & he did a mini rear when kicked on by one of them & took off with her. I then decided he was going back to the dealer I got him from (who incidentally was very supportive & understanding & said we could have an exchange or she could sell him on). I decided not to exchange as my confidence was shot but she has been working my boy to try to make him do it again because she said he had shown no signs of ever bucking at her yard. He has been with her for about 6 weeks now & not bucked at all. I went & rode him again & he was just perfect. I now don’t know whether to have him back & try again & put the bucking down to settling in or is it a deeper underlying issue? I am angry at myself for letting other people influence me but at the same time obviously safety comes first. I never really established a routine with him Could this have been the problem?
I had his teeth, back, feet, saddle checked & everything seemed fine
I really adore this boy & feel like I have failed him somehow. Anyone out there felt the same way or have advice to give I have been advised not to have him back but I am so confused?
BIG choc cake if you read all that!
 
Looking forward to my choccie cake!

Well, you have 2 options. (a) Move on from this experience, have lots of lessons/ride other ponies and when you feel ready get another pony that really is what you need/want;
(b) Go and have lessons on him at the dealer's yard and then perhaps take your instructor's advice on what you should do if that stage goes ok. Then perhaps he can come back to your yard and you can take things slowly (do not let the girls gallop him around!).

Keep us informed.

Ali xx
 
The first few months with a new horse are in my experience rarely easy so please don't feel you've failed him when really it's just a particularly steep learning curve. It wasn't until I had had my first boy six months and gotten to my third yard (bad I know) that we made progress, learned boundaries and started to actually enjoy each other. I agree with what others have said. See if you can maybe stay at the dealers or a more suitable yard and give it time and patience, you'll get there. Good luck and keep us informed x
 
just want to send you my best wishes and echo what other people have suggested. Hope that whatever you decide works out for you and your daughter. Just know that you haven't failed him- you just might not be the right person for him - or you might! - it just depends on whether you can trust him and feel safe. GOOD LUCK!
 
Feel for you, I'm one of quite a few of the nr residents who has had a similar experience to you. If your gut says to try a bit more then I would second what eml and endurance ali have suggested. I had a few bad experiences with my boy but didnt feel i'd given it good go (when i was being told to sell). I made some mistakes with flip and should have taken it more slowly but hindsight is a beautiful thing! I went right back to basics - just groundwork, walking him out and getting to know him in the field as I was too scared to ride. He then went away for retraining and the verdict was an insecure young in the head horse who had some bad experiences needing reset. With a lot of direction from the trainer (I had a fair few sessions at the training yard before getting him home) we're only now starting to build up our riding relationship. I do appreciate that you've got to think of your daughter though so as you say, safety should be considered.
 
Is he used to being on a bigger yard at the dealers ? and feels a little un-nerved on a smaller one and hacking out alone ?

Routine, feed, handling, too much galloping being young he gets carried away?

Have you had his back,teeth,saddle checked ?

If you know he can be good what about getting an RI in to help give you confidence and in turn feed him confidence.

My old moo bag is V sensitve and always plays up if Im having a off day.

Do you have support on your yard other than young girls who will get on anything ?? I moved twice in a month to find the right yard.

Good luck, hope you sort something.
 
Chin up Birdiemk1. It feels like the end of the world I know but things will work out. Same thing happened to me at the beginning of the year. In fact all most a carbon copy of what you are going through. Won't bore you with the details. I exchanged my horse for a different one and he is an absolute dream so far. Every thing I ever wanted. I did change yards though after I got him as I did not want the same thing to happen again. I also had so called well meaning people helping and looking back they just made things worse. The yard I am on now are so supportive and gave me an environment in which me and my new horse could bond and grow confident together. I lost ALL my confidence and thought that I should not ever own a horse as I was not fit. It was hard for my young daughter too as she had fallen in love with the horse and did not want him to go but at the end of the day he was not right for us. Needless to say she is now totally in love with new horse and can do most things with him which is delightful to watch.

So moral of the story is this. You must do what you feel is right. You should not give up your dream and you certainly have not let your horse down. The very best of luck to you. :smile:
 
Think your very lucky that you have stumbled across a very genuine sounding dealer - second the others - could you keep the pony there whilst you re build confidence?

In my experience letting young 'gung ho' riders gallop about on a relatively young horse, especially in a new situation for the pony, is a recipe for disaster. Not your fault, would seem a sensible thing to do if you are feeling less than confident and fairly new to horse ownership yourself. But I do feel that having an older, less shall we say 'excitable' rider quietly hacking the pony out until it has learnt to be settled in its new life style would be more helpful to you.

Hope you get this sorted and dont let a first experience spoil the rest of your horsey hobby for you and your daughter.:wink:
 
i feel for you and it must be hard how you feel . but 1st off id stop that galloping around the field becaues every field you come across he may think oh we,r for the off keep these young girls off him . you also stated he,s green so wont of done that much so lesson in a menage id be doing . also i find a mature horse and rider to hack out with you want one thats bomb proof that will give him confidence . the shying id say is hes probably not seen a lot so going out in company with a safe horse will do him the world of good . and yes landing behind the saddle makes most of them buck . all what you have wrote just spells green horse not bad horse . he needs a routine try n have your lessons at home n not ferry him here there n every were . they take time to settle so once you find a good instructor and a nice mature safe hack to hack out with . n keep every tom **** n harry off him youl of cracked it im sure
 
Chin up Birdie - this is all pretty normal with a new horse - even if you've had horses before let alone a first horse.

Looking at the timeline here, it would seem that spring grass may well have been part of the issue here? If so, there are steps you can take to avoid this (you can feed magnesium or you could even just make the decision to lunge first to make sure his bounce is slightly less bouncy!).

He's also a cob - they do take a little bit longer to grow up but its worth it in the long run (she says who has just finally got the hang of her cob who she's owned since he was a foal - he's 7 now too!).

Confidence is a tricky thing - its easy to lose it but once you start taking steps to get it back it can come back remarkably quickly. The secret seems to be baby steps. Break everything right down. Dont worry about trot and canter out hacking. Be pleased if you can do some ground work or some basic pole work in a walk in the school. Although it may seem corny, once you crack that, the rest tends to follow on fairly easily. He needs to learn to trust you and that takes time. It wont matter whether you are on his back or on the ground, once he trusts you things will improve tenfold.

Obviously you have your daughter to consider. Is she happy with him? Can she ride him safely (at least in the school or hacking with someone on foot?).

I second the advice to keep him at livery at the dealers yard for a while till you both get used to him and you'll have some useful backup.

Please dont let your confidence crisis get you down. 2 years ago I was back on a lead rein being walked up and down the lane with Arnie as I was so terrified of him and I've owned horses for nearly a quarter of a century now - out competing SJ, XC and dressage for most of that time:eek:. I thought we were never going to get through it but now he is my pride and joy and we are very very happy together:D
 
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