Am i up to this? Panicking :( Sorry bit long :(

nelsonsmum

nelsonsmum

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Nov 1, 2007
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Lincoln
Well have been riding a couple of times on my share horse and apart from a mini spook at a tractor on a hack and a bit of a bounce around the school he has been lovely. Generally nice in the stable and whilst leading, gets a bit frustrated when it takes me too long to tack him up and doesn't llike standing at the mounting block much.
He is quite slow in the school and only seems to perk up if there are trotting poles/jumps. Tonight we did some trotting pole, leg yielding, circles and a little canter. He was steady and only needed a little half halt to keep him listening over the poles. At no point did I feel scared/out of control.
We finished and i turned him out and he followed me back along the fence.
Well I thought, that was great, that is the first time I have ever ridden in a school on my own without a RI.
The panic started as I drove home. I just thought S**t what have I done? I am hoping to take this horse on full loan and I am thinking maybe I am not a good enough rider for him. What if he turns into a nutter? What if I ruin him?
What if I fall off and die...and on and on until I felt sick and was seriously doubting whether I should do this.
Or is this normal and am I just expecting too much from myself?
 
Well done for doing schooling on your own! Its a big step -a bit like when you drive for the first time without an instructor next to you! You must try not to think negative thoughts though as they will make you nervous. I must admit I have got into the habit of trying to think about nice things. Take it a step at a time, concentrate on grooming him and keep the rides short. You will soon get your confidnce up. Get someone to take pics of you riding, you can look back at the pics and it will reinforce your confidence. good luck!
 
thanks for that will just take things really steady I think, short schooling sessions and lots of bonding, maybe do some ground work to build trust.
 
i think its a bit like when you first bring a baby home from hospital - quite convinced that it will die or you will kill it within hrs - by 6 weeks you are nappy changing with one hand whilst doing 3 other things at the same time - the constant repitation of tasks makes you more compatent - a few weeks of riding, tacking up, & all the rest will give you enough repetition to feel more confident & you can begin to build up a collection of evidence that generaly -with exceptions made for bad days- you can cope well with the horse - enjoy
 
Of course you're up to it - you just proved it! :)

It's perfectly natural for you to feel a bit panicy but you'll be fine i'm sure - and you know what they say ..... practice makes perfect! :D

Just enjoy it - if you let your fears rule you you'll miss out on something special - believe me i know! I've missed out on hacking due to fear - completely unfounded at that - and built it up to a ridiculous level - i'm beaking the barriers now but i wished i'd done it 18 months ago! :rolleyes:

Good Luck!
 
feel much better today. Think I just need someone to come and watch me and give me some feedback as the girl I share with obviously is wanting me to take him on and may be biased.
 
nelsonsmum said:
feel much better today. Think I just need someone to come and watch me and give me some feedback as the girl I share with obviously is wanting me to take him on and may be biased.
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She wouldn't be wanting you share him if she didn't think you were up to it :D

It's natural to be nervous - but you can always ask the owner for advice if you need to. You'll be fine.
 
Relax! I know how you feel, I had the same panic attack when I bought my TB (first horse) - as the old owner drove the horsebox out of the yard and left me with him on my own I thought b*gger me, what have I done?! Anyway, more than a year on and me and him are still alive and well, in fact I've now got another horse.

You're in the best situation possible really, you can learn so much just working at it on your own, but you also have the back-up of the owner if you need it.

Good luck :D
 
Totally normal reaction - relax, stop panicking, you'll be fine. If you're not, you've got the owner to ask for a bit of back up so dont worry about it.

After a few weeks you will suddenly discover you are enjoying yourself:)
 
nelsonsmum said:
The panic started as I drove home. I just thought S**t what have I done?
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You are so normal :D Your horse sounds lovely BTW. First day with my first horse, everyone had gone to a show and I was alone. Made her breakfast 3 times, going hot and cold while thinking what on earth have I let myself in for ? Next day she tanked off with me in a field and went to jump the fence before I baled out, first hack she reared at a motorbike....Ah, happy days !:D:D:D
 
You sound just like how i feel about getting a loan horse - i just got hit wih this massive wave of nerves and was convinced i wasn't good enough - i think it's perfectly normal, though :)!
 
it's all fallen through now :(
girl was trying to loan him to me without letting real owner know. He's being advertised again now so someone else is going to have to go through the same thing as me. Getting attached and then having to walk away.
Feeling really down about the whole thing
 
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