Appropriate? Inappropriate? Or Just a Sign of the Times?

Flipo's Mum

Flipo's Mum

Heavy owner of a Heavy
Aug 17, 2009
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Perthshire, Scotland
I guess even writing this on a forum I'm buying into the 'sign of the times' opinion but it just strikes me as an interesting subject to debate, however the basis for my question isn't the nicest so maybe I should be burned at the stake for even bringing it up. I'll explain now....

Sadly one of the customer managers at my work passed away last night. This morning we were all appropriately informed of events and given time to gather our thoughts. People were asked not to communicate this further at that moment because they were still trying to contact some work colleagues who should be informed. Everyone behaved impeccably.
This afternoon its all over facebook. Is that appropriate, inappropriate or just the way social media works nowadays? It just strikes me as a bit odd, its not the sort of thing I'd be posting about online like that. I don't like it. What do you think?
 
In a few days probably not, but right now the way social networks operate, you don't know who's reading what, and is it the right way to hear of something that might be close to you?
Fair point though, maybe its a crap thread to have created.
 
I think of people have been asked not to communicate it as people are still being informed than they should not be saying anything ESP on FB as it's just not fair on those that don't know.
 
You know it's so funny you bring this up as I had a conversation with a colleague fairly recently about this....again unpleasant circumstances provoking the conversation.

My colleague tragically lost his young son recently, it was very sudden and totally unexpected, understandably a huge shock to the family. Within a few hours of it all happening, his daughter (youngest sybling) had put up a memorial facebook page and the family were receiving sympathy calls from people who they believed they had not told, but later found out about the facebook page.

I think it is a sign of the way people communicate now, particularly youngsters. Personally it's not the way I would do things, but it is increasingly more common. I do also think that the way the social networkings sites encourage people to update their status to show when they ate breakfast and went the loo is affecting people's perception of what they should be publicising...not just limited to sad events, there are some things that others just don't want to know!!!!!!!!
 
It's not something I would be comfortable with I guess - it's almost too tacky?

I guess the important thing at the moment is consideration for the grieving family, how do they feel? In light of this I personally would choose to stay clear of social networking about somebody's very recent death.

I know it's not the same but just after the Red Arrow pilot died (just down the road from our house) in August this year at the Bournemouth Air Festival, a friend put RIP Red Arrow 4 on her FB status. The death had not been confirmed yet through the greater media but as her mother is a policewoman, she got first hand information he had not survived. I had big issues with this. I just feel it's so..... invasive & disrespectful? Who are we to broadcast such personal, emotional & intimate stuff about people we don't know at all, or very well?
 
bitsnpieces said:
I do also think that the way the social networkings sites encourage people to update their status to show when they ate breakfast and went the loo is affecting people's perception of what they should be publicising...not just limited to sad events, there are some things that others just don't want to know!!!!!!!!
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Tell me about it. I get sick of the updates on babies having a crap or kiss kiss to their OH's and other ridiculous drivel :stomp:
 
clashnoir said:
Tell me about it. I get sick of the updates on babies having a crap or kiss kiss to their OH's and other ridiculous drivel :stomp:
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Don't, just don't, get me started...

I also don't want to hear about somebody's torn vagina post giving birth - 2 months later! I don't want to hear about stitches, how much it hurts, how she can't function properly or anything. I don't want to know about your vagina, keep it to yourself.
 
Our local jungle drums can go faster than any social network on the internet.

At least if it's cut and pasted (shame that post birth vagina couldn't have had the same thing! ;) ;)
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it stands a chance of being fairly accurate.
 
I dont think it is a crap thread at all FM. This thread are what forums are all about - gathering other peoples opinions on a subject that you have questioned.

I think it is a sign of the times. I'm not so keen on it, particularly so soon, but it's just the way people communicate these days. When my friend had her baby recently she knew she wouldn't able to keep photo's of her off of facebook for long, but she was shocked when a friend who had visited her in hospital put the photo's up straight away. The little thing was literally only hours old.

I think there is also something to be said about being able to access the internet on our phones, I might not put half the stuff up there that I do if I didnt have access to it through my iphone.
 
Thinking on, when my dad died I'd not have worried about it being all over the net, it would save me the job of having to tell folk, and that awkward "how's yer father?" "oh he's dead" moments.
 
Yeah its only work colleagues I've got on my fb that I would know who know about it already. I do think its just a bit tacky and inappropriate. BnP it is definitely an age thing I think and I know from reading more about fb that they just want to encourage more status updates to record our every movement, every inane action we undertake. I only post on the odd occasion but am happy to read most others comments. Although yes, draw the line at lovey dovey posts which should really be kept private, pictures of food (ok, the odd photo is fine but do I really need to know what you're eating for every meal?) and whole heartedly agree, not into reading about others private parts.
I know my brother in law's firm have policies on appropriate use of facebook, linkedin and the rest so I think it should be a policy we have somewhere and I think that policewoman is on dangerous territory with letting that slip to her daughter. Not good at all
 
Roxy's Mum said:
It's not something I would be comfortable with I guess - it's almost too tacky?

I guess the important thing at the moment is consideration for the grieving family, how do they feel? In light of this I personally would choose to stay clear of social networking about somebody's very recent death.
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totally agree with your sentiments RM..

clashnoir said:
Tell me about it. I get sick of the updates on babies having a crap or kiss kiss to their OH's and other ridiculous drivel :stomp:
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one of the reasons i deleted my FB profile.. I got sick to the back teeth of the drivel on peoples status's..
 
Agree FM. Said friend didn't have it up long, I suspect her mother had some stern words with her (I hope anyway).

I understand your POV Wally & hadn't thought of it that way.

Laura I think your friend's situation isn't all that uncommon. I went to visit a friend last night who's baby is only a month old, I said to OH to take a photo of me with the bub but stopped & asked my friend first if she minded or not. I didn't want to assume but she said taking photos is fine but we ask people to not post them on FB. She hasn't put any up herself & doesn't want anybody else to. Those who are inconsiderate enough to not bother asking do seriously annoy me.
 
I find facebook and the like quite sinister in general, and it's not something I have ever been nor ever want to be part of. I do acknowledge it has a massive part to play in the social lives of lots of people and I guess with the huge number of users, and each in turn having their own sense of propriety as to use of information etc.... it's going to be impossible to regulate the use of and access to information.

I'm sure they meant well, FM, and I think it is just a sign of the times... but still it's not something that would sit particularly well with me - that's probably the reason I keep away!
 
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