Confidence gone.

[OneHoofBeat]

I've been riding for about three years (officially. I never count the time where I just hacked a pony out.) And I've always rode pretty @sshole ponies. The first one would rear constantly when asked to move, didn't scare me. Then I moved onto another pony who would "deck" you in canter, she'd buck, rear and then spin so you didn't have a chance to stay on. Or she barged your legs into the gates and try and throw you over the fence. The third pony I rode would bolt off around the school for the fun of it, or she'd just bunny hop along. None of these scared me and I just got on with it. Learned to walk trot canter.
Was asked to ride an extremely laid back TB. I've ridden her before. She was foot perfect. Got her, did walk, trot. Then I asked for canter and she spooked. Dogs was barking behind her, a horse was going crazy near us and a child screamed. TB didn't see anything just heard it and she took off in gallop. She threw her head down and I flew over her head, Confidence in canter out the window.
The owner of the TB then paid a lesson for me to ride the TB in because I was too scared to get back on anything and ride again. I did walk, trot and canter but I didn't feel safe and all I could think about was "What if I fall off again?"
Few weeks down the line I was offered to part loan this cob, very laid back, ex riding school. never put a foot wrong, always looked after her rider - Hated canter - Would buck her way out of it. I gave her a shot, did walk and trot till I got my confidence up on her and then with a riding teacher I got her into canter (15 minutes after her bucking fit) But I knew I was holding her back,
Pony moved yard so I've ended up part loan something. Perfectly schooled, does walk, trot and canter.
I've walk, trotted and cantered her but when I ask I don't let her "go" I'm fine in canter but I can't seem to let the horse "go" to get into canter. I feel like I'm pulling her back so we only do a few strides at a time. How can I let her go? I tried riding with a slightly longer rein, where I still have control but I can't pull her back as much but it's still the same.
I don't want this to hold me back when riding.

 

[Hailz22]

How about being on a lunge lead with your instructor on a quiet horse that wont buck and react in canter then the instructor is in control of the horse and you just hold on and circle around them? Have your reins there tied in a knot on top of the horses neck so you can grab them if you need to but try and canter without hands (can hold mane or saddle though!) just to get used to you not pulling back?

 

[hormonalmare]

I used to have dreadful problems with getting into canter...legs were saying 'canter' hands were subconsciously saying 'slow down' and bum was saying 'arghhhhh'..........edited to add.... Instructor made me walk and trot on buckle end until I had confidence, and then I progressed to riding canter with inner arm out at 90 degrees (without the rein I hasten to add!). Never had a problem since..

 

[chev]

I'd recommend a lunge lesson or two as well. I used to back and ride out youngsters, eejits and sh!tbags all the time and never had any issues in spite of coming off many times.

Then a friend asked me to try and sort out her nappy TB x. He stood like a rock while I got on and the minute I put my leg on he bronced, proper all-feet-off-the-ground twisty leapy broncing. I lasted three or four leaps and came off onto a concrete yard. Ended up with a concussion, bruised hip and cracked ribs. Confidence shattered.

It took a while and a very sympathetic instructor to even trot again. I rode a saintly mare who eventually got me cantering again. I still get nervous if I'm put on a new horse but we're getting there.

Lunge lessons in the early days did help. I trusted my instructor to control forward movement which left me free to concentrate on relaxing and working with the horse.

It's also important to give yourself time. It can take a while to rebuild confidence and it's not something you can rush. Take it a step at a time and build on it slowly. It will come.

 

[Skib]

To be honest, I wouldnt set about getting my confidence back in the way you have. To get right back on the original horse and do so much canter. As if canter is compulsory. It isnt. With regard to your fall - all horses spook. Falling off is a possibility in most riding. But there are types of riding that reduce the likelihood. And that is how you start to rebuild confidence.

After any crisis, I return very slowly to riding and mainly just walk and trot till I feel relaxed and comfortable on the horse. It isnt any good forcing yourself to have soft hands when you are scared, because it is natural to be scared. Just self preservation. It isnt just after a fall one may take things gently. I do it every time I ride a new horse.

It is worth while thinking too about what scares you. Mark Rashid pointed out that to canter with no nervousness, one needs to have both brakes and steering. It isnt a good idea to let the reins go loose. In order not to be afraid you dont have just to sit canter (tho that is the first necessity one learns - often out hacking or on the lunge).
You have to ride canter -especailly in the school - you have to learn how to control the speed and the direction and prepare for downward transitions from canter (which are often neglected). So you overcome your nervousness by taking a technical approach. Dont just wait for the horse to do something.

With a good teacher you can progress through these stages quite quickly - if the lessons are structured. And if you are happy to go on to the next stage. Learning to canter well may eventually involve lessons devoted only to canter. Canter isnt a poor relation to be left till the end of each lesson. You need to learn about riding those circles and diagonals and loops and turns in canter, and some counter canter too. You are unlikely to be frightened after that.

You say you dont want it to hold you back. But from what? From the expense of riding lessons? - It is the hours you spend in the saddle that will make you comfortable to ride and control horses. It is a long term thing and you should enjoy every stage of it -dont push yourself.

 

[misty]

Hi,
First of all, I can totally identify with the freezing up when asking for a canter. I do it every time I canter now. I wouldn't say I was extreme as you in terms of the type of horses that I used to ride but I would say I was a lot braver than I am now and the odd bit of liveliness wouldn't upset me too much.

That all went when I fell off a horse that was much too lively for me and I sent myself staggering backwards at a heck of a rate. I never recover d because I never got back on another horse for a long time after and now every horse who has a spook or gets a bit excited with me somehow transforms into him in my mind.

I don't have any expert advice but I know I did the wrong thing by not getting back on for a long time. However, I also don't think getting back on that particular horse would have done me much good either. I think, if you're tensing up when asking for a canter (as I still find myself doing), you need to experience a horse who will give you that each time without reinforcing the bad expectations. You need to reconfigure your brain to think 'when I ask for this, nothing is going to happen to me...' I also recently learnt that 3 - 4 strides of nice controlled canter are enough to begin with. A canter where you say 'start' and you say 'stop'. In this case, you reassure yourself 'I can stop whenever I need to.' Once my brain 'knows' that when I'm riding a particular horse, the tension when asking for a canter begins to ease considerably. I'd do that in every corner of a school but perhaps if you have concerns that this particular horse will knock your confidence further, seek a confidence giver as it were for reassurance.

Hope that helps - I like to think I can but I'm terrible with advice since I always seem to pick the wrong horses myself!