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Confidence Knocked

Discussion in 'Confidence Club' started by Minky2018, Feb 24, 2018.

  1. Minky2018

    Minky2018 New Member

    Feb 24, 2018
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    I have just bought my first horse, had him for about 2 and a half months now. He is a lovely boy wouldn’t hurt a fly but for some reason I’m extremely nervous to ride him. He hasn’t done anything for me to be nervous either. I’m fine on the ground with him unless he has a tantrum but that isn’t very often. I also doubt myself with him so he is getting away with things I would never usually allow. I have never been nervous with horses which makes this very frustrating. I did have a fall a few months back nothing serious but that has really knocked my confidence and I panic if I have to ride on my own. I bought this horse to help with my confidence which I’m sure he will do but I have to start riding him before any of that will happen. Any advise on how to get my confidence back? Any advise appreciated x
  2. newforest

    newforest Why have grain, when you can have yummy grain

    Mar 15, 2008
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    Get yourself a good instructor. Some moral support and some eyes on the ground will help you loads.

    It is actually normal with your first horse to think omg what have I done.
    You are probably not in a routine as such yet and are having the crap winter weather, it's cold and wet and probably not that inviting with a new horse.

    You can lunge and longrein and build up your bond that way, if you don't know how that's something an instructor could teach you. It's another string to your bow so to speak.

    My first horse was a school Master type but even she wouldn't let me on sometimes and I felt bit overwhelmed. I think you will find other posters saying the same.
    You should be fine, don't panic, it's fairly normal.
    Trewsers and OwnedbyChanter like this.
  3. OwnedbyChanter

    OwnedbyChanter With out my boys life would be bland

    Apr 16, 2009
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    It’s very normal. I have had my boy six years and had a total confidence crash over Christmas after a fall jumping.

    The best advice as @newforest states is to get an instructor and have lessons either lunge in hand or ridden.

    If it was not for my RI I would still be in a bad place as it happens we are back to normal again

    Good luck
    Trewsers likes this.
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  5. carthorse

    carthorse Well-Known Member

    Jan 6, 2006
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    I totally agree about getting an instructor, one you can talk to comfortably & feel relaxed with. If you're on a yard make friends with supportive people & if possible make plans to do things together because it's harder to back out if you have to let someone down.

    I do feel that nowadays there's a tendency to worry too much about confidence & it's viewed as something you either have or don't. I think the truth is far less black & white, with it often being a matter of degree, but by focusing so much on it we actually make it worse. A few tips - rather than thinking "what if" think "so what if" , only play back in your mind the positive experiences & remember that no matter how badly something goes there is nearly always a positive to be taken from it - grab it & focus on it!

    First horses are a big step. You're responsible for them & there's no-one else there to sort out problems. While you may not need that safety net the fact that it isn't there can be unsettling. You'll get there though, and better weather is round the corner & that makes everything easier.
    Trewsers likes this.
  6. Trewsers

    Trewsers Well-Known Member

    Oct 13, 2004
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    Everything that has already been said really. Summer won't be that far away and I always think some nice calm, warm dry weather helps loads - for them and us:)
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