Considering giving it all up.

BeachRiding

BeachRiding

New Member
Aug 26, 2004
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I am at breaking point. I am not having fun. The only horse I have ever had that I felt safe, confident and had fun on was Willie. He is too old to take my weight now, if he wasn't I would still be out there having fun on him. Willie never put a hoof wrong, never did anythign to scare me. I barrel raced him, I did Western Pleasure on him, I jumped him english. Perfect horse.

Sigh, Pete spooked again today and added a buck while I was riding bareback. I just don't trust him. He is up for sale at a lower price, hoping someone is interested in him soon. I don't feel like riding him anymore. My confidence was shattered again today. I just want a horse I can have fun on. Something safe, I want to go back in time a couple years when Willie could be ridden.:(

Rode Gitcha again today.....sigh..... I really don't think I am ever going to get anywhere with him.I feel like I am going around in circles. I could never enter a show with him. I could never go barrel racing for fun, enter a Dressage class, Jump him. My instructor thinks he is my perfect horse,well if he is shouldn't I not be afraid of riding him? nervous every time I think about getting on, too sick and tired of the struggle? :( Don't get me wrong, Gitcha is a good boy, I just am still not positive he is the horse that my confidence needs. I keep trying to canter him, but he takes advantage of my vulnerability during that moment and acts up badly.

Willie was my perfect horse. I think I am done now. I have tried twice to get a horse like Willie after he went lame. I failed twice. Gitcha, too much horse for me, much too fast. Pete, sigh, good amount of horse for me, but I don't trust him anymore. I can't sit his bucks easily, I don't need a horse who spooks all the time and tries to buck his rider off.

I just don't know what to do. I am at breaking point. Considering just giving everything up for awhile. I love my horses, but the two rideable ones I have are not what my confidence needs at this point.
 
I said this last time - from what you've posted, Gitcha isn't the horse for you.

You have done nothing but yoyo with him - one week it's all smiles and happy, the next you're frightened again and want a new horse.

Get rid of him. Sell him to a home he'll be able to do all the fun things he wants to do. Buy yourself an older, gentle horse to rebuild your confindence. Pete obviously isn't that horse, but their is one out there.
 
WL, horses are animals. You are never going to find one that is 100% bombproof. There is just no such bird. A horse will spook. A horse will react to tension, and if I had to guess, I'd say that Pete can feel your nervousness.

What I would do is sell Gitcha - first and foremore. I've told you that time and time again. You can't handle him and eventually there is going to be a major accident.

As for Pete, well, I don't know. There comes a point that you have to ask yourself why every horse you sit on is acting up, yet perfect for others. My guess would be that they sense that they can take advantage of you because of the fact you are scared. Remember, horses' are flight animals. If they feel like you are scared, they start to wonder if there is something to be scared about to begin with.

Personally, in your situation, I would go out and find THE best barn I possibly could, no matter what the cost of lessons was, spend a couple of months on a lunge line, work on my position and then work with a horse who has been there and done that
 
StormArion said:
WL, horses are animals. You are never going to find one that is 100% bombproof. There is just no such bird. A horse will spook. A horse will react to tension, and if I had to guess, I'd say that Pete can feel your nervousness.

What I would do is sell Gitcha - first and foremore. I've told you that time and time again. You can't handle him and eventually there is going to be a major accident.

As for Pete, well, I don't know. There comes a point that you have to ask yourself why every horse you sit on is acting up, yet perfect for others. My guess would be that they sense that they can take advantage of you because of the fact you are scared. Remember, horses' are flight animals. If they feel like you are scared, they start to wonder if there is something to be scared about to begin with.

Personally, in your situation, I would go out and find THE best barn I possibly could, no matter what the cost of lessons was, spend a couple of months on a lunge line, work on my position and then work with a horse who has been there and done that
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I know, there is no such thing as a 100% bombproof horse, but Willie was pretty close.

What's hard about all this, is my trainer pretty much 'forbids' me to sell Gitcha. She thinks he is my perfect horse. She wants me to stik with her and Gitcha for six months.
 
Any trainer worth their salt has to take into consideration when a rider is to scared to advance properly. They have to be willing to say "you know what? because of your lack of confidence, he isn't right for you." And I'll tell you quite honestly, WL, Gitcha is NOT a one in a million horse. He's an average quarter horse, who will probably make someone a nice barrel racer, but that's about the whole story.

If your trainer likes Gitcha so much, tell her to buy him.
 
Don't let your RI dictate your life, if Gitcha acts up really badly whilst you are riding him, it is going to be you falling off him not her. You need to decide what is best for you and not base it on what other people think.

I don't know what else to say.. I feel really sorry for you, I want you to be happy! :(

How often are you having lessons with your RI?

Nina x
 
horses are far more intelligent then we give them credit for, ive seen the quietist horse turn into a loon with a different rider, and vice versa, have you ever heard the saying ... that one person can ride any horse??? it comes froms from many horses many falls and many im not suited to that horse, but the best riders out there can adapt to any horse, stop trying to canter stop trying to jump take each horse out walk around for 10 mins, call it a day the next week do a bit of trot, a few strides then stop, one horse may need a short rein the other a long rein you will only learn this from the horse.

it sounds like u are nervous and both horses sence it. dont rush if u want to keep them 5 mins of what YOU want will not only help you but the horse also

good luck the fact you havnt given up says soooooooooooo much, well done you
 
Ms Kitty said:
Don't let your RI dictate your life, if Gitcha acts up really badly whilst you are riding him, it is going to be you falling off him not her. You need to decide what is best for you and not base it on what other people think.

I don't know what else to say.. I feel really sorry for you, I want you to be happy! :(

How often are you having lessons with your RI?

Nina x
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I have a lesson with her once a week.
 
WillieLove said:
What's hard about all this, is my trainer pretty much 'forbids' me to sell Gitcha. She thinks he is my perfect horse. She wants me to stik with her and Gitcha for six months.
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Your instructor seems like a bat. There, I've said it. She can't forbid you to sell, he's not her horse and she's not paying for him. Sell him, sell Pete, move on. I completely echo what StormArion said. Get some lessons, consistently, with another instructor (any instructor that tells you to go ride the horse that terrifies you isn't an instructor you should be associating with). Of course she wants you to stick with her, she's making money off you. Find somewhere else. Build your confidence. For as long as it takes.
 
So sorry to hear you so down again :(

You could sell both Gitcha and Pete, and either look for a quieter horse or take lessons on school horses for awhile. The thing is, a quieter horse might not be up to what you want to work towards in the long run. It's a tough decision.

Or you could back off a long way, and take a longer term view. Keep taking lessons with Gitcha and your current RI, but don't be so ambitious when practicing on your own. Don't fret if you can't run barrels or jump him successfully yet. These things take time, and it really is okay if it takes you a couple of years to get to where you want to be. When practicing on your own, do what you can do comfortably, and work on perfecting it. Otherwise...you're setting yourself up to fail. Keep a journal of what you work on in each session. Record your long term goals, as well as short-term steps toward where you want to be. Then when you look back over several months of entries, you'll see that you are making progress. Of course you'll have setbacks, but you need to be able to see the overall improvement (which I'm sure will be there).

Like others have said, it's not your instructor's place to "forbid" you to sell *your* horse. But I can understand that she's trying to tell you he is talented, and you have the potential to ride him well. Nor is it up to people on the internet to tell you you *must* sell him. We only see what you write and a few pics.

Good luck with whatever you decide. :)
 
WL, hun, YOU (or your parents ;) ) are PAYING your RI to teach you. She is your employee, basically ;) She CANNOT tell you what to or what not to do with YOUR horse. She is not the only instructor around. She doesn't know all, and she isn't perfect (no one is).

Any instructor worth anything would realize that Gitcha is destroying your confidence and have you stop riding him. You can only go for so long before you either get injured or do give up entirely.

It's YOUR life and YOUR happiness that matters (and the horses'). Your RI doesn't sound like the right RI for you - just like Gitch isn't the right horse for you. Offer to sell him to her if she loves him so much. Otherwise, there IS the perfect home for him out there and there IS the perfect horse for you...although I'd recommend getting lessons for quite some time on a schoolmaster to build your confidence back up :)
 
I'm probably going to echo everyone but this is what I think.

First your RI really doesn't seem very encouraging or listening to what you want (which she really should be doing!). She really can't be 'forbidding' you to sell your horse..:mad:...At the end of the day it's your horse and your decision, not hers.

If Gitcha is really scaring you, it's just putting your confidence further and further down into the ground... It's now getting so bad your thinking of not riding anymore...which isn't good at all!!!
I know it's really hard selling horses (I'm doing it right now and it sucks), but really think with your head on this one. Do you think in the near future you will be completly confident riding Gitcha? If no, then he's not the horse for you.. and thats okay.
Horses are such an expensive hobby/passion/lifestyle to not enjoy and be happy with.

If I was you..this is what I'd do. I'd sell Gitcha and Pete. Then I'd spend my sweet time taking lessons at a riding stable and getting my confidence up on schoolies, and THEN start looking for a new horse. Don't rush into anything!

Whatever you do though, Good luck hun!
xx
 
I emailed my instructor, she is going to talk to me on thursday, I said I didn't want to talk to her on the phone now because I felt I would end up crying up a storm she said " I support you 100% in whatever you decide and will do what I can to help you" So I am very pleased about that. I think she is finally realizing I am at the verge of just giving up completely.


Thanks everyone for the support. I am still undecided of what I am going to do.
 
Good luck Willielove in what ever you decide to do.
Ive read some of your posts in the past... but if you can afford to have three horses, maybe it would be good to sell one of your mounts... Pete or Gitcha, and have one quieter older mount that you can gain your confidence on. Don't worry too much about looks etc, just a horse you can have fun and trust.

I find that really helps my confidence... I have a three year old, and a 39 year old horse. Stella (the three year old) and I are just getting to know eachother as I've only had her two weeks and I already fell off her once.. it shattered my cofidence, but I wouldn't let it take over me completly. I rode Cherry the next day first, which gave me some confidence, then got on Stella. I found it made a huge difference.

And with Stella I never push myself.... I always end on a positive note. Some days I mainly walk and do some light trotting. Once your horse trust you completly I believe you can do wonders with them. But you have to remember it takes many times of positive expirences to gain that trust.

Best of luck!
 
I've not contributed before but have read your posts. Personally I agree with the others, sell both and get something older, more tried and tested who's quieter and who isn't going to wreck your confidence. What's the point in being unhappy, we do this for fun right? Are a couple of weeks of fun really worth the angst the rest of the time?

I do think that maybe putting off buying for a few months while you get some confidence boosting lessons on riding school horses would be an excellent plan. If anything it will give you time to look around for a horse who ticks all or most of your boxes.

A riding instructor told me to get rid of Saff. I told her to bog off even though I liked and respected her. I'm so glad that I didn't take her advice no matter how well meant. You have to make your decisions. You don't sound to me from the way that you write you want to keep either of them. Listen to your head, not your guilt or your RI. There is a suitable horse out there for you but you won't find him while you're battling with your emotions with regards to Pete and Gitcha.

Good luck x
 
WL I am so sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Horse riding is meant to be fun and if you are not having fun then something has to change.

I too am of the opinion that Gitcha is not the horse for you.

Unfortunately you have been put off Pete by his actions and also by your RI's comments. So I don't think you should perservre with Pete as it would be unfair on both of you.

Perhaps sell both of them and try and have lessons at a riding school and then after 3-6 months consider buying another horse. The right horse is out there you just have not found him:)
 
I thought you already decided to sell Gitcha ages ago!?

WL you are kidding yourself IMO. It will take you years to get Gitcha where you would like him to be, nd it doesn't sound like you have the patience or nerve to wait that long (going only on the fact that you are willing to give up)
If I were you, I would stop messing around with Gitcha - it's constantly highs and lows all the time - and sell him to somebody more confident who is willing to put the work and time in.
Like somebody else said, no horse is 100% bombproof. You can't keep comparing your new horses to Willie, it's not fair on them or you.
You will only keep seeing their bad points if you do that. For whatever reason you aren't riding Willie, so you need to move on and focus on your other horses now.
Pete was perfect not long ago, what changed?
If this is an isolated incident and it is only minor spooking, then give him some time. Al horses have their moments. You can't expect him to be exactly perfect all the time.
good luck whatever you decice WL.
 
Hi,

Just wanted to say a quick good luck and sorry to hear you are feeling down. Not that good at giving advice in these situations..

Hope everything works out for you.

Jenny and Tyler
x
 
Oh dear, you poor soul. I've read your threads and I think this is the first time I've commented. I can't help echoing the others. I think, having owned a horse I was scared to ride, I would sell both your horses and have a break. It really isn't a joke and you've perservered with Gitcha enough. Then get yourself something older, more like your lovely Willie, and find some people your own age to ride and have fun with.. Riding is meant to be fun, especially at your age. You really shouldn't be feeling like this about it all. Your choice honey. Do what you want to do and stand up to your instructor if you're not happy with what she's advising you to do. Please give yourself the chance to enjoy riding again.

Good luck.x
 
I think maybe having a break from owning a horse may be the right thing for you now.

Gitcha isn't the right horse for you, regardless of what your RI said. Pete sounds a nice horse but you say you can't trust him (not sure riding him bareback was the most sensible option if that is how you feel mind you).

I think you should sell both of them. Go and have lessons on RS horses who can build up your confidence and don't even think of buying another horse till you are in a position to enjoy owning one.
 
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