Feeling down and missing my horse

[Mary Poppins]

Today a facebook post popped up from 3 years ago of when I was jumping Ben and it has made me so sad. I miss him so much and everyday that he is lame makes me think it is so unlikely that we will ever do that again. I am glad he is still here and I enjoy looking after him, but I really do miss him so much.

 

[Jessey]

It is a really hard time, I think made all the worse by the not knowing. Sending you both positive vibes.

 

[Mary Poppins]

It is a really hard time, I think made all the worse by the not knowing. Sending you both positive vibes.

Thank you. The not knowing is dreadful. I just want a resolution one way or the other now. If he isn't going to make it I would rather just do what has to be done and stop him from having a live a life of misery stuck in his stable.

 

[Trewsers]

Lots of vibes. I can understand - I remember a while back seeing some old vids of Storm and me and knowing I won't ride her again. But it's different for you because you have hope that you will. So hang on to it and even if it does not happen, you'll always have wonderful memories and you can spend time together still - (I have everything crossed for a good outcome, and that he will be comfortable enough to retire if necessary). I know retirement is not ideal - but I know what he means to you. (That probably has come out garbled but I just want you to know like lots of others here I do understand and am sending best strong vibesxxxxxx)

 

[carthorse]

It's hard. It sounds horribly twee but I found the only way to get through it was to appreciate what I had now & take each day as it came, not waste a moment of the time we did have wishing for what I didn't have any more. Tennyson had it right with "Though much is taken, much abides; and though We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are" & maybe a touch of Van Dyke too "And what prayers For the silent strength that nerves us to endure Things we cannot cure!".

Your vets haven't given up hope yet, they still think he can return to some form of work, and nowadays I find vets tend to be pessimistic in a prognosis to protect themselves. He may not come right, but for now you still have him & that's a lot t be thankful for.

 

[Lissie]

So sorry @Mary Poppins it's tough, I remember when my old boy got ringbone and we couldn't do all the fun stuff we enjoyed so much, fast hacking, jumping it broke my heart. I felt real grief for what I was losing even though I was glad I still had him I definitely felt a lot of loss and even now miss riding him. Sending hugs.

 

[chunky monkey]

I does feel strange. I'm still having a tough time with not riding chunky. Although the girls are still riding him and I'm driving and lunging him. I miss hacking out on him. I keep him going as the vets said don't retire him but I still feel a loss. It also feels like a betrayal when I get Billy out to ride and I get that jealous nay from chunky. I know that retirement is going to happen soon and to see him stood in the field will be harder to take. But like this morning after his lunge, I put my arms round him and had a little cuddle.

 

[lauren123]

I really feel for you MP, Its awful. Its very easy to go down the route of negative thinking ( I seem to be very good at it!) But I would try and take one day at a time and for the moment at least. Try not to think about the future. Just enjoy each day with ben, not saying it in a way as that's it, type thing. But there isn't a lot of point in getting all worked up as the vet might come back and say that you can move onto the next stage of rehab. I was the same though with sox. I saw others riding and would become angry if liveries moaned that there horses were too strong or spooky when ridden as I would be thinking atleast you can actually work your horse! When I had thinks pop up on facebook etc. I found comfort in that... even if I couldnt jump, for example. I hung on to ' Even if he is a happy hacker or I can only work him 2 days a week that will be enough for me'. Again when I very very slowly started seeing progress with him I decided to litrally take everything at snails pace, or soxs pace. So if he came in with a abscess or he had pulses etc etc. It would be ' Ok well we can deal with it. give hima week or so or more if it was a stubborn thing and try again in a fw weeks time. Yes it certainly felt like one step forward two back. Though as would be the case with Ben. Sox isn't going anywhere so if it took... weeks or months. So be it. Aslong as his quality of life wasn't affected.

 

[joosie]

Aw I feel for you.
It's not the same situation, but I am really missing my guys right now too. It's been 3 years since I left France and it's weird because although I own these two fab ponies I don't really FEEL like their owner any more, which makes me sad. I feel like I'm missing out on lots of fun and happiness with Annie, so I did have this idea that I'd bring her over to the UK so that I could enjoy her again... I even got as far as finding livery for her and booking transport to bring her here... but then some complications arose (long story!) and made the process stressful to the point that this week I've ended up having second thoughts and cancelling the transport. I've had to face the reality that while I am setting out on my teaching career (which is going to require me working outside the UK), it's just not going to be practical to try to have her with me, so it makes sense for her to just stay in France. So right now I'm one of "those" people who owns a horse they never see that is looked after by someone else, but still goes on about how much they love them I miss the old days of having her at work, doing something with her every day, that warm glowing feeling I get when we're out hacking together... and at the moment I can't really see when we are going to be able to enjoy each other like that again. So I definitely know where you are coming from!

 

[Mary Poppins]

Thanks everyone. It is nice to know that others understand how hard it is.

 

[MrA]

I feel your pain, haven't sat on Ale for well over 2 years and Brodie since early September, but at least Brodie has a positive prognosis. Sorry to hear you're struggling, fingers crossed he does come sound. Life just isn't the same without riding!

 

[diplomaticandtactful]

the false dawns and hopes are the worst part. for years we tried to get Molly sound and finally admitted defeat when she was 9 and she retired as a field ornament and had wonderful happy life till colic got her.

Rose again years of ongoing lameness, cushings, it was rubbish.

Young filly with EMS but thankfully she is turning the corner.

It's very very hard. I had 8 years no riding, I had plenty of horses but nothing rideable. I almost gave up. I remember going to try Buddy, not having sat on a horse for such a long time, wondering if it still had the bottle never mind the muscles! I was like a sack of spuds.

Take it a day at a time. That's all you can do.