Feeling frustrated

also riding school horses can be very auto pilot and ignore the rider it's quite different from riding your own horse. Buddy for example hacked out this morning, when we got along the lane to go past the track up through the woods he chose it as his route, when we got to the top of the woods he could turn right for the short walk home or turn left for the longer route. No prizes for guessing which one he chose. I didn't have the heart to turn him the other way......I could have, he would have gone where I wanted, but whatever, let him have his way for once. Riding school horses aren't allowed to be assertive like that, they have to behave. They work harder than a leisure horse, so sometimes it is hard to get them to give.
 
So it is now June, I think that I am probably going to finish out this block of lessons and quit. I make no progress really. I cannot get the horse to trot and if I can get a trot, it only last for a few strides.
I turn 59 in a few weeks, I have bad arthritis in my hips and am not in good enough physical condition. Like a lot of things in my life, I am trying to make up for not being able to do things when I was young enough.
 
@linda7575 if you don't want to quit and are only doing so because you aren't making progress why don't you give another school a try? Or find a hacking centre, horses are often more cheerful and forward out hacking so you haven't got the effort of keeping them moving. If I'm honest then I have to say that a horse that won't maintain more than a few strides of trot shouldn't be used by a school to teach a beginner, how are you to learn on a horse that won't move?

I hope you find a way to carry on & enjoy your riding.
 
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Carthorse took the words out of my mouth. Back in the day, when my friend and I went riding schools, she loved lessons and learning all the disciplines, but I lived for hacking out. We had to compromise - 1 week a lesson, next week a hack. Cut yourself some slack, enjoy what you want to enjoy. Honestly, I've had my own horses for 26 years, and now, at 63, I'm very happy bottling around on my fat little cob!
 
So it is now June, I think that I am probably going to finish out this block of lessons and quit. I make no progress really. I cannot get the horse to trot and if I can get a trot, it only last for a few strides.
I turn 59 in a few weeks, I have bad arthritis in my hips and am not in good enough physical condition. Like a lot of things in my life, I am trying to make up for not being able to do things when I was young enough.

If you want to do it then take heart - horse riding is about communication and like with humans, not all horses want to communicate with all people. Find a horse you can "talk" with and don't beat yourself up - I am 71 and suffer from arthritis and leg cramps and can't get every horse I ride to trot. When I do have a cooperative horse though, all the effort and frustration becomes worth it - there is nothing so magical.
You are a paying customer - ask your riding school to give you a more forward, willing horse. If necessary ask for a different trainer and if you haven't already done so, tell them of your difficulties and frustration.

Below is a photo of a lady I ride with from time to time - she is 78, lop sided and has bad arthritis throughout her body together with joint replacements, she has difficulty even mounting the horse but she can trot and canter!

98799
 
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If you want to do it then take heart - horse riding is about communication and like with humans, not all horses want to communicate with all people. Find a horse you can "talk" with and don't beat yourself up - I am 71 and suffer from arthritis and leg cramps and can't get every horse I ride to trot. When I do have a cooperative horse though, all the effort and frustration becomes worth it - there is nothing so magical.
You are a paying customer - ask your riding school to give you a more forward, willing horse. If necessary ask for a different trainer and if you haven't already done so, tell them of your difficulties and frustration.

Below is a photo of a lady I ride with from time to time - she is 78, lop sided and has bad arthritis throughout her body together with joint replacements, she has difficulty even mounting the horse but she can trot and canter!

View attachment 98799
What a glorious picture!
 
I promise that almost every rider has these periods of frustration - you put in the time, the work, the money, but for all your efforts you seem to make no progress. It helps a little to know that this is how it goes - you improve a bit, then plateau while you consolidate that improvement, then improve a little more.

Sometimes a change in routine brings fresh perspectives - a hack, a lunge lesson, a different horse or instructor, a lesson in the field instead of the arena, etc. You might need to be proactive in asking for something different.

Could you have a chat with your instructor about your frustrations? Let her know that you have aims and goals for your riding and ask her to help you work towards them. Instructors can get stale, as well as horses and riders, and sometimes you need to do a little work to get them thinking about how to help you. If she can’t suggest anything or isn’t positive about your aims then it’s time to try a different school.
 
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