No, you are not a humbug. You tell it like it is and I think you are refreshingly honest.
Feeling let down
- Thread starter eventerbabe
- Start date
No, you are not a humbug. You tell it like it is and I think you are refreshingly honest.
I don't blame you for being upset - I would be too! To those that say it could be the fiancée - regardless of their opinion on the relationship ( unless he was abusive ) I would be keeping my opinion to myself. Who the hell am I to judge? It's not my relationship - the decent thing to do is support your friend & be there if the crap hits the fan.
Must say, jealousy aside, this is one of the reasons I think weddings can be awkward things. It's ok if you have other friends there, or it's a family wedding and get together, but when you don't know anyone apart from the bride/groom you can end up feeling like a lemon!
I will forever be a spinster !! However the best day of my life was seeing my best friend getting married !
I can see your point FM. But both are settled with long term partners! I'd be at their big day to support them. Nothing would stop me. I guess it's overwhelming disappointment at how crap my 'true' friends are!!
Weddings and similar bring out the worst in people. We had a 'save the day card' for my daughter and I to attend her step brothers second wedding but were never invited ( we made it clear we still wanted a relationship with his first wife and kids). I however ended up having only 2 people as witnesses to my registry office wedding ( neither of which were my friends) and 12 people to the blessing and meal, it would have been 20 but took place in 2' of snow!! Still had a great marriage!!
You are obviously upset about it and I would pick up the phone and speak to them. Explain how this has made you feel and see what they have to say. There could be a million and one reasons why they have declined. Maybe they feel jealous (although personally I feel this is unlikely). Perhaps they can't afford it. Weddings are really expensive when you add it new outfits, presents, night-time accommodation etc. Maybe their relationships are not going well and they may have to come to the wedding alone.
I always think that it's worth a phone call to talk things through, although I have to say that if a good friend sent me a text to decline my wedding invite with no explanation I would be upset as well. Surely they could phone me and explain in person.
I always think that it's worth a phone call to talk things through, although I have to say that if a good friend sent me a text to decline my wedding invite with no explanation I would be upset as well. Surely they could phone me and explain in person.
I am an 'old fashioned' talker and really hate the way that texting and facebook has taken over the communication of the world. No-one talks to each other properly anymore! I know that is a hypocritcal thing to say while I type into an internet forum, but with 'real life' friends the phone needs to be used for the purpose it was invented for.
Weddings can bring out the worst in folk which is a shame. Glad I ran off with OH to Vegas!lol. I dread to think what would have happened over here - there would have been fighting cousins, sulking aunts, god only knows how many arguments!
I agree directly ask why.
I had a bit of ta-do with my best friend and some of her family When she got married.
She chose to get married way out on the tip of the cap cod in Provincetown that is not in ANY WAY in my driving range.
My husband was not going to be home to be able to drive so we could go and come back and I have my horses and goats at home so I can't go anyplace over nite.
Her brother gave me a bit of a hard time YOU should be there
I told her if you have someone that is going and coming back same day that I can go with I will pay their gas etc and then I can be there.
Well every one was staying over.
I did end up going out with her for the day when she was looking for a place to get the flowers etc so she got to show me the beach
lighthouse etc etc. and in the end her brother who did kind of give me a hard time gave me a lot of photos and video so I could feel
I was there too!
I had a bit of ta-do with my best friend and some of her family When she got married.
She chose to get married way out on the tip of the cap cod in Provincetown that is not in ANY WAY in my driving range.
My husband was not going to be home to be able to drive so we could go and come back and I have my horses and goats at home so I can't go anyplace over nite.
Her brother gave me a bit of a hard time YOU should be there
I told her if you have someone that is going and coming back same day that I can go with I will pay their gas etc and then I can be there.
Well every one was staying over.
I did end up going out with her for the day when she was looking for a place to get the flowers etc so she got to show me the beach
lighthouse etc etc. and in the end her brother who did kind of give me a hard time gave me a lot of photos and video so I could feel
I was there too!
I've so very nearly called them. But I just can't. I'm a hot head and until I've calmed down I'd do more damage than good.
The situation is not helped by one of them posting all over Facebook about a wedding she attended up here, not 10 miles away from where my wedding is being held. That speaks volumes to me. She's going to be cut off as far as I'm concerned. I'm done with her!
I can understand the not having friends, however both would have people they know very well (other than me!) in attendance.
The situation is not helped by one of them posting all over Facebook about a wedding she attended up here, not 10 miles away from where my wedding is being held. That speaks volumes to me. She's going to be cut off as far as I'm concerned. I'm done with her!
I can understand the not having friends, however both would have people they know very well (other than me!) in attendance.
Can understand your disappointment but I wouldn't let it fester, if something bothers me I can't let it rest until I've dealt with it regardless how hot headed I feel, get on the phone and speak to them, if they are good friends they will understand your irritation and forgive you if you are grumpy with them, if they are not and they don't well at least you'll know the reason why and won't have it hanging over you and spoiling what should be a fantastic time in your life.
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