Feeling the sickening nerves starting already....

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins

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Oct 10, 2004
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After announcing to a friend last night that I had come such a long way with Ben and felt ready to start lessons, I have found myself booked into a group lesson tomorrow. This involves a 20 minute hack to the RS, a one hour 'advanced' group lesson, and then a 20 minute hack back. I really feel sick at the thought of it - but a little excited as well.

A friend is hacking over there with me on her horse, and another friend is going to walk on the ground beside me and will lead me if I get too nervous (I really struggle hacking). The hack is mainly through woodlands but we have to cross one busy road, and then more woodlands until we come into the riding school. This is the bit that I am worried about because it is a huge RS, very busy with horses, people etc. everywhere. While I will do my very best to relax, he is bound to be a little excited when we get there. I'm not sure what to focus on because it will blow my mind as well. My strategy is to hold my neckstrap, keep my leg on and if all else fails get my friend to hold onto him!

The way home should be easier as we are going towards home and he will be tired from the lesson.

Please tell me this is a good idea???
 
Sounds like a fab idea and I too would share your nerves but in an excited way, you will feel so proud of you both once you've done it. It's all within your capabilities and having the companion and foot soldier is very sensible IMO. Let us know how you get on, breathe and have fun!
 
It is only a good idea if you are prepared, which it sounds like you are if you're having a friend walk with you and one hack also! I always think the more moral support the better. Arm yourself with your "safety blankets" ie, your bp, (hat of course), gloves, boots that you can walk okay in if you have to get off and walk Ben, spare leadrope and packet of polos! (The polo's are to distract Ben if you need to get off or if he's a good boy when you get there lol!)
I honestly think you'll be fine!
Enjoy the lesson - you'll do great and think how good you'll feel and super confident afterwards - go on - you CAN do it!
 
Flipo's Mum said:
Sounds like a fab idea and I too would share your nerves but in an excited way, you will feel so proud of you both once you've done it. It's all within your capabilities and having the companion and foot soldier is very sensible IMO. Let us know how you get on, breathe and have fun!
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Thank you. I was originally going to lead him over on foot - but my friends on the yard nearly fell over laughing when I said that. I have been thinking about my 'exit strategy' in that if I get too nervous on the hack, or Ben starts getting too excited for me to cope with then I will just get off and lead. The general consenus on my yard is that would be a very stupid thing to do. I disagree and that is exactly what I am going to do if I want to. I am getting much more confident in my self judgement and self belief.
 
Trewsers said:
It is only a good idea if you are prepared, which it sounds like you are if you're having a friend walk with you and one hack also! I always think the more moral support the better. Arm yourself with your "safety blankets" ie, your bp, (hat of course), gloves, boots that you can walk okay in if you have to get off and walk Ben, spare leadrope and packet of polos! (The polo's are to distract Ben if you need to get off or if he's a good boy when you get there lol!)
I honestly think you'll be fine!
Enjoy the lesson - you'll do great and think how good you'll feel and super confident afterwards - go on - you CAN do it!
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I am well equipped. I have my BP, safety stirrups, gloves, leadrope, hat, high vis for the road etc. I will add some polos. I'm pleased that you have suggested that getting off to lead isn't such a stupid idea.
 
Mary Poppins said:
Thank you. I was originally going to lead him over on foot - but my friends on the yard nearly fell over laughing when I said that. I have been thinking about my 'exit strategy' in that if I get too nervous on the hack, or Ben starts getting too excited for me to cope with then I will just get off and lead. The general consenus on my yard is that would be a very stupid thing to do. I disagree and that is exactly what I am going to do if I want to. I am getting much more confident in my self judgement and self belief.
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Don't worry about people laughing at you. When I first got Ziggy I had to hack (alone) to get to lessons, and if ever I felt anxious or he was behaving like a muppet, I got off and led him. Some people can't understand it but I can't understand why you wouldn't take the safe option!

I really hope you enjoy yourself. Don't assume Ben will be wound up by the yard: he's been around, and he might take it all in his stride. He will get wound up if you are, though!!!

Very good luck, have a great time.
 
I'd much rather do the 20 min hack each way than the lesson! Have you managed to get Ben out solo much lately? I only ask because I find myself much less nervous when no-one else is around - I have no choice but to get on with it and it works for me.

You know that Ben is well behaved - isn't he? I'd also prefer road hacking to open fields even though I know that Rocky wouldn't take off with me - maybe im just odd:wink:
 
I think your plan sounds very sensible. Surely the ultimate aim is to have a day that both you & Ben enjoy, and if that means doing part or all of the journey on a lead rope then that's absolutely fine.
 
I bet you have a great time, and dont worry about what others think, if you want to lead him, then lead him, only you know how you feel :wink: I lead Daisy every week to my lesson now, I feel so much more relaxed when I get there so I can enjoy the lesson, but you have a foot soldier and a friend so I bet you will be ok, just dont worry if you have to do your own thing :wink:
I bet your lesson will be great too, if you are with others in the lesson there will be times when you will probably be waiting for them to do stuff so just relax and enjoy and your motto - leg on - that has so been helping me lately.
Have a ball :wavespin:
 
I really do think once you're there & started you'll thoroughly enjoy it! I've felt like this before (& do again on new pone). You've got all the right help/support in place. Try not to anticipate too much. Go for it...will be looking for the report back :))
 
Dizzy Woo said:
I bet you have a great time, and dont worry about what others think, if you want to lead him, then lead him, only you know how you feel :wink: I lead Daisy every week to my lesson now, I feel so much more relaxed when I get there so I can enjoy the lesson, but you have a foot soldier and a friend so I bet you will be ok, just dont worry if you have to do your own thing :wink:
I bet your lesson will be great too, if you are with others in the lesson there will be times when you will probably be waiting for them to do stuff so just relax and enjoy and your motto - leg on - that has so been helping me lately.
Have a ball :wavespin:
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What she said - have fun ! :wavespin:
 
You have set yourselves up for success with your careful planning, well done. Whatever the concensus from your yard bluntly that doesn't matter. It is down to what keeps you and Ben relaxed and happy that counts.
 
I think the nerves before lessons thing is totally normal! I get it too and
- I don't even bring my own horse
- have lunge lessons right now so not much can go wrong there

After the lesson I am always thrilled and can't wait to get another. But then a week passes and I am all nervous again about it.
 
Yesterday when i booked my lesson I started to feel sick which I thought was due to nerves. After being up all night actually being sick it seems I actually have a stomach bug!!

It's now 9:30am, the sickness seems to have stopped and apart from a pain in my stomach every 20 minutes or so I feeling better. My husband has taken my kids out so I can get some rest and then will hopefully be OK for my lesson. I have 4 hours before I need to leave for the yard so as long as I can eat something and I am not sick again, I think that I will go.

If I cancelled I would lose my money (as you have to give 24 hours notice) and would have to face everyone who just wouldn't believe that I have actually been ill. There is a toilet next to the outdoor school at the RS and it the worse comes to the worse, I have friends who I can call who would box Ben back for me.

Bloody illness!
 
Go for it. Take deep breaths when you feel nerves coming on and try and slow your breathing down a little, sit deep in the saddle try not to pull back too hard on the reigns and relax, your horse will feel this and relax as well. You will enjoy it and feel great when you get home and round it off with a nice drop of something you fancy.
 
So, I'm back!!! I am completely exhasted. Probably due to not having eaten much for the last 24 hours, but also as I rode Ben for 2 and a half hours today. I ache!

I came back in tears because it was all so overwhelming. I wanted to do it and am pleased that I did but I was facing some huge fears and it has knocked the stuffing out of me.

Firstly, my friends will just not entertain the idea of me leading him and this stresses me out. I don't think that there anything wrong with getting off if I am so nervous that I am just not enjoying it. Surely this is going to stress Ben out more if I am tensing on top rather than walking all relaxed by the side? I feel like I am being pushed too far and I so wish that someone on the yard understood how hard I find this.

Anyway, despite my nerves, he was a complete superstar on the hack. It was at least 20 minutes, slightly longer than i thought and he was very looky but didn't do a thing wrong. We got to the school and there were horses and people everywhere. He was excited and had ears forward taking it all in. Everytime he saw something of particular interest (like a group of kids on ponies walking to the field), he snorted and I could feel his heart beat increase.

In the lesson he was great. The instructor said that he had good confirmation and moves nicely. I have been struggling with consistent bend on his left rein, but the instructor said that he just needs to build up muscle and his muscle memory. She recommended that we do short bursts of good quality work and give him longer breaks when he gets tired. She said that I rode well and we make a good partnership which was pleasing.

He was a little naughty at one point. I was riding by the entrance of the school and asked for canter. Something spooked him and he shot off at 100mph. I regained control quickly and no harm done, but that the worst he has ever done. He is not used to being in an indoor school though so I guess I can't be too hard on him.

The hack back was long and stressful. I felt that I wanted to lead him because I was so exhausted mentally I didn't want to cope with my nerves. But my friends made me ride. The friend on the ground wouldn't walk with me or lead me and I felt bullied into doing something that I didn't want to do. They don't understand me and I wish that they did.

Overall, it all went well but I am not rushing to repeat the experience next week.
Glass of wine for those who got to the end. I am having Rose!
 
Well done for still going despite having been so poorly. Next time if you want to get off and lead then just do it. Nobody elses business but yours. Do what feels right for you and Ben. You are the one looking for a long term happy and successful relationship with your boy, not them.
 
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