First day being a horse mummy and I feel awful!
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To me that sounds like she is a dominant mare . It’s only when you bring these horses to your yard you really end up seeing there true personality and I don’t want to scare you that probably why the daughter is nervous . When I was reading your post and your replies I am seeing a lot of red flags about these horse. Any updates
***UPDATE***
Oh guys, I dont even know where to start I really dont.
Firstly, thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read/comment/help/advise. I honestly appreciate so much, and love having a little support network to turn too.
Since sunday she seemed to get much better day by day, less nervy and spooky, much more calm and relaxed. Tuesday, she was actually really loving during a grooming session we had; so much so that I decided to bite the bullet and book a lesson in for yesterday with my instructor.
Lesson was going really well. Up until our 3rd lap of trot of the school. She slowed down to walk without me asking, so i quietly put my leg on to ask her to go forwards, and I got 3 big bucks.
1st buck I sat to, 2nd unseated me, 3rd had me off.
Long story short I was in hospital yesterday and back to fracture clinic today. Iv fractured 2 vertebrates in my back and I am lucky i have no nerve damage, sounds like I got off really lightly.
My own stupid fault for not wearing a BP. I just didnt think id need one with her. I was told by her old owner she didnt even know how to buck or have a rider off. I rode her a few different times on trial and she was the perfect little schoolmistress pony. One day it was pouring with rain and windy and i had a schooling lesson on her, she genuinely made me feel so safe and confident.
I cant ride for 3 months now.
I have no idea what to do moving forwards. Old owners are shocked and upset shes done this, but wont have her back from me?
No one at my yard will get on her after this, tbh no one is small enough either. All the girls have said theyd give her back in my position, but obviously this isn't an option.
Old owners, and previous ones before them too have all said shes unsettled and scared of me due to the elec shock, but i dont know what to believe it seems a bit extreme to me over an electric shock.
All tack I got with her is the same as what i tried her in, just a new numnah
She saw dentist not long ago and back was also checked not long ago too according to owner.
Feeling really sorry for myself and almost regretting my decision to get back into horses now. Im terrified shes shattered my confidence. Im unsure if ill ever be able to trust her again now.
Any kind words or advise would be much appreciated.
My head is everywhere not to mention i am still dosed up on morphine, but im thinking schooling livery untill i am able to ride again its just a bloody expense and a route i never expected to be to going down after buying my ‘confidence giving mare’ X
Oh guys, I dont even know where to start I really dont.
Firstly, thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read/comment/help/advise. I honestly appreciate so much, and love having a little support network to turn too.
Since sunday she seemed to get much better day by day, less nervy and spooky, much more calm and relaxed. Tuesday, she was actually really loving during a grooming session we had; so much so that I decided to bite the bullet and book a lesson in for yesterday with my instructor.
Lesson was going really well. Up until our 3rd lap of trot of the school. She slowed down to walk without me asking, so i quietly put my leg on to ask her to go forwards, and I got 3 big bucks.
1st buck I sat to, 2nd unseated me, 3rd had me off.
Long story short I was in hospital yesterday and back to fracture clinic today. Iv fractured 2 vertebrates in my back and I am lucky i have no nerve damage, sounds like I got off really lightly.
My own stupid fault for not wearing a BP. I just didnt think id need one with her. I was told by her old owner she didnt even know how to buck or have a rider off. I rode her a few different times on trial and she was the perfect little schoolmistress pony. One day it was pouring with rain and windy and i had a schooling lesson on her, she genuinely made me feel so safe and confident.
I cant ride for 3 months now.
I have no idea what to do moving forwards. Old owners are shocked and upset shes done this, but wont have her back from me?
No one at my yard will get on her after this, tbh no one is small enough either. All the girls have said theyd give her back in my position, but obviously this isn't an option.
Old owners, and previous ones before them too have all said shes unsettled and scared of me due to the elec shock, but i dont know what to believe it seems a bit extreme to me over an electric shock.
All tack I got with her is the same as what i tried her in, just a new numnah
She saw dentist not long ago and back was also checked not long ago too according to owner.
Feeling really sorry for myself and almost regretting my decision to get back into horses now. Im terrified shes shattered my confidence. Im unsure if ill ever be able to trust her again now.
Any kind words or advise would be much appreciated.
My head is everywhere not to mention i am still dosed up on morphine, but im thinking schooling livery untill i am able to ride again its just a bloody expense and a route i never expected to be to going down after buying my ‘confidence giving mare’ X
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Oh bless you - what a rotten start! You definitely need to keep her ticking over somehow while you're laid up. Very strange though, to behave like that, when it's apparently not in her nature. Maybe too much, too soon? Perhaps someone could lead her out, and you tag along when you're up to it, then some very low key hacks, not asking for much, but just getting to know her. Spend lots of time with and around her, so you get to know her little foibles as well as her getting to know yours. I worried that I might have made a mistake with Hogan, after the first 3 weeks or so - he suddenly found his attitude, and played up for a couple of months, but with time and patience, he's turned into a good lad again. I hope it's just a blip, and perhaps the enforced step back you've had to take is a good thing - albeit upsetting and frustrating.
Hum. In two minds with this reply which isn't very helpful!
I would actually speak to your riding instructor, I am guessing you have a regular one. They might be able to help with the ticking over if that's what you decide. They probably can't tell you what to do, but can offer suggestions based on how you ride and your confidence.
My first response would be to say that sounds like an ulcer reaction or something ouchie.
Or, if the other rider is that nervous nobody has corrected the little madam. Some of the safe as houses horses are like that because they don't actually move! I viewed one ridden by a nervous rider that sounded fantastic until I corrected them and we went vertical.
Second response is to box her up and send back as not as described. I don't know how much you paid, but you haven't had a week yet.
I fully accept horses are unsettled etc etc. One buck I could put down to fresh or frustrated, we would possibly accept that, based on them being unsettled. But you've fractured your spine in two places because they meant it. That's potentially going to be fine or its going to leave you with low level pain and/or low level pain when you ride. I don't think I would want to be getting on that pony in all honesty, when you were innocently asking for trot- unless it's pain related- maybe)
I would actually speak to your riding instructor, I am guessing you have a regular one. They might be able to help with the ticking over if that's what you decide. They probably can't tell you what to do, but can offer suggestions based on how you ride and your confidence.
My first response would be to say that sounds like an ulcer reaction or something ouchie.
Or, if the other rider is that nervous nobody has corrected the little madam. Some of the safe as houses horses are like that because they don't actually move! I viewed one ridden by a nervous rider that sounded fantastic until I corrected them and we went vertical.
Second response is to box her up and send back as not as described. I don't know how much you paid, but you haven't had a week yet.
I fully accept horses are unsettled etc etc. One buck I could put down to fresh or frustrated, we would possibly accept that, based on them being unsettled. But you've fractured your spine in two places because they meant it. That's potentially going to be fine or its going to leave you with low level pain and/or low level pain when you ride. I don't think I would want to be getting on that pony in all honesty, when you were innocently asking for trot- unless it's pain related- maybe)
Hi op, so sorry to read all this 
I hope your not too uncomfortable.
Horses can change dramatically when unsettled and it can take a while to revert. My own horses really surprised me when we moved and that was with the same owners and friends. My old horse who was in work at the time started napping really badly. If I’d been a new owner I’d have been wanting to return him and convinced I’d been done over. It may not be the case with your girl but worth bearing in mind.
Id get a freelance rider if I were in your position.Someone with references and insurance. Your confidence will grow seeing her being ridden and her confidence will come on in leaps and bounds ready for you to get better OR the pro rider will be able to advise one way or another.
Get better soon x
I hope your not too uncomfortable. Horses can change dramatically when unsettled and it can take a while to revert. My own horses really surprised me when we moved and that was with the same owners and friends. My old horse who was in work at the time started napping really badly. If I’d been a new owner I’d have been wanting to return him and convinced I’d been done over. It may not be the case with your girl but worth bearing in mind.
Id get a freelance rider if I were in your position.Someone with references and insurance. Your confidence will grow seeing her being ridden and her confidence will come on in leaps and bounds ready for you to get better OR the pro rider will be able to advise one way or another.
Get better soon x
Oo gracious, I fractured vertebrae some years ago so appreciate how that part feels, hopefully you get back on your feet and heal quickly.
In your post you say 'according to previous owner' a few times, first rule of horse buying is you should never take a previous owner at their word, they might be nice folks but unless you are looking at a signed/dated/stamped record of something don't rely on it, 'teeth done recently' means different things to different people, for some that can be 2+ years ago!
Horses can get terribly unsettled when sold/moved but old owners can put on the shocked act just as easily, so again, pinch of salt.
If you want the pony to go back you could up the pressure on the previous owner to take her back, you might get lucky, or look for sales livery. But if you want to keep her then I'd agree with finding someone qualified and insured to ride her, hopefully in a few weeks you'll also be up to doing in hand work with her and that will help you bond before you get on again.
I'd be treating her like a complete unknown, get back, tack and teeth checked, unless that was all done at your pre-purchase vetting? And work with her based on what you know, not what you have been told.
I wish you luck, it's a nightmare situation.
In your post you say 'according to previous owner' a few times, first rule of horse buying is you should never take a previous owner at their word, they might be nice folks but unless you are looking at a signed/dated/stamped record of something don't rely on it, 'teeth done recently' means different things to different people, for some that can be 2+ years ago!
Horses can get terribly unsettled when sold/moved but old owners can put on the shocked act just as easily, so again, pinch of salt.
If you want the pony to go back you could up the pressure on the previous owner to take her back, you might get lucky, or look for sales livery. But if you want to keep her then I'd agree with finding someone qualified and insured to ride her, hopefully in a few weeks you'll also be up to doing in hand work with her and that will help you bond before you get on again.
I'd be treating her like a complete unknown, get back, tack and teeth checked, unless that was all done at your pre-purchase vetting? And work with her based on what you know, not what you have been told.
I wish you luck, it's a nightmare situation.
Nothing else useful to add, but sending get well vibes for your back (and your confidence).
Hope things pick up for you and you find a way to move forward from this x
Hope things pick up for you and you find a way to move forward from this x
First of all, I want to wish you well in your recovery. It sounds very painful and I hope that it doesn't cause you too many problems.
With regard to the pony, I have lots of thoughts flying through my head. Did you get her vetted and were bloods taken? The bucking you describe is either pain related or behaviour related. It is possible that the pony was on bute or similar when you tried her which would obviously mask any pain. I would go back and get the bloods checked (if you have them) as this will tell you if she was drugged up when you purchased her.
If you didn't get her vetted, the first thing I would do is get the vet to check her over. Bucking like that is often the sign of pain which could be anywhere in the body. In addition to the vet, I would find a good physio to check her out, plus a saddler to check the fit of her tack.
If the vet and physio give her the all clear, you can then assume that the bucking is due to bad behaviour. The fact that the owners are not interested in having her back speaks volumes to me. It is a well known fact in the horsey world that sellers can be very dishonest. She may well have been a gem when you tried her, but perhaps she had already been ridden hard and tired out before you arrived? Maybe she is a pony that needs lots and lots of work to keep her sane? What was her previous life like? Did she often travel to shows etc.? Is she used to working away from home?
However, on the other hand, I do agree that horses can be unsettled and act out of character in new surroundings. My horse is an absolute saint, you really couldn't find a horse who is safer than him. However, before I bought him, he went through many owners (7 in 3 years). One of the owners was a nervous novice and she returned him to the previous seller a few weeks after buying him because she said he was dangerous. I don't know what he did, but whatever it was it was completely out of character for him. So just because your pony bucked this time, it doesn't necessarily mean she will always behave like that.
I really feel for you because this experience has obviously not turned out as you planned.
With regard to the pony, I have lots of thoughts flying through my head. Did you get her vetted and were bloods taken? The bucking you describe is either pain related or behaviour related. It is possible that the pony was on bute or similar when you tried her which would obviously mask any pain. I would go back and get the bloods checked (if you have them) as this will tell you if she was drugged up when you purchased her.
If you didn't get her vetted, the first thing I would do is get the vet to check her over. Bucking like that is often the sign of pain which could be anywhere in the body. In addition to the vet, I would find a good physio to check her out, plus a saddler to check the fit of her tack.
If the vet and physio give her the all clear, you can then assume that the bucking is due to bad behaviour. The fact that the owners are not interested in having her back speaks volumes to me. It is a well known fact in the horsey world that sellers can be very dishonest. She may well have been a gem when you tried her, but perhaps she had already been ridden hard and tired out before you arrived? Maybe she is a pony that needs lots and lots of work to keep her sane? What was her previous life like? Did she often travel to shows etc.? Is she used to working away from home?
However, on the other hand, I do agree that horses can be unsettled and act out of character in new surroundings. My horse is an absolute saint, you really couldn't find a horse who is safer than him. However, before I bought him, he went through many owners (7 in 3 years). One of the owners was a nervous novice and she returned him to the previous seller a few weeks after buying him because she said he was dangerous. I don't know what he did, but whatever it was it was completely out of character for him. So just because your pony bucked this time, it doesn't necessarily mean she will always behave like that.
I really feel for you because this experience has obviously not turned out as you planned.
I agree with MaryP - If the previous owners wont take her back, she may well have been doped when you tried her or given a great deal of exercise to wear her out.
For me safety is the absolute priority. I always wear a bp when I ride.
I also think it is no use crossing your bridges. Wait till the medics say you can ride again and then work out whether you want to. Possibly ride a few RS horses first?
I myself am always a bit wary when people post about having an instructor. My impression is that instructors make demands on both the adult student or the horse which maybe they arent ready for.
Correct riding as so often advocated on this site is not something I have ever been taught or done. Just pottering around and getting to know a horse is so important.
Horses need to learn and relearn in the wild so the electric fence is unlikely to have caused the problem.
The situation at the moment seems to be whether or not thos horse is physically in pain and if not whether she is safe and trainable.
To find out that it may be worth consulting an expert trainer - I mean a big name such as Michael Peace or Maxwell.
But while you cant ride, and if you decide to keep her, you can do a lot of ground work with her and get instruction in that. I dont mean lunging. I mean leading with poles, mazes, over and round scarey obstacles. And always wear gloves, bp and a hard hat.
For me safety is the absolute priority. I always wear a bp when I ride.
I also think it is no use crossing your bridges. Wait till the medics say you can ride again and then work out whether you want to. Possibly ride a few RS horses first?
I myself am always a bit wary when people post about having an instructor. My impression is that instructors make demands on both the adult student or the horse which maybe they arent ready for.
Correct riding as so often advocated on this site is not something I have ever been taught or done. Just pottering around and getting to know a horse is so important.
Horses need to learn and relearn in the wild so the electric fence is unlikely to have caused the problem.
The situation at the moment seems to be whether or not thos horse is physically in pain and if not whether she is safe and trainable.
To find out that it may be worth consulting an expert trainer - I mean a big name such as Michael Peace or Maxwell.
But while you cant ride, and if you decide to keep her, you can do a lot of ground work with her and get instruction in that. I dont mean lunging. I mean leading with poles, mazes, over and round scarey obstacles. And always wear gloves, bp and a hard hat.
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I see both sides to having an instructor, but I myself didn't have any kind of instruction for over 3 months after getting my horse. In the first few months all I wanted to do was walk round on him with very short bursts of trot to get my confidence. If I had lessons, I would probably had been jumping him in the second week which would have been way beyond what I wanted to do. Instruction has both pros and cons.
You say that you know the old owners well, that they're shocked and upset at what she's done but they won't have her back? I think there's something here that they aren't telling you and I'd be getting some legal advice asap. Send them a recorded letter or email straightaway saying what happened and that you want to return the pony, also ask your instructor to put in writing exactly what she witnessed while it's still fresh in her mind. For them to say the electric shock is to blame for her behaviour under saddle is quite frankly ridiculous and is them trying to make you feel responsible and so hopefully not look into it any further. Did you know these people well before you were interested in the pony?
I hope you heal quickly and fully and aren't hurting too much at the moment. I think if you do want to send her back you need to act quickly though. If you still want to keep her then I think putting her in a good schooling livery would be a sensible option after physical checks have been done, but please be honest with anyone you send her to about what she has done and keep in close contact while she is there.
I hope you heal quickly and fully and aren't hurting too much at the moment. I think if you do want to send her back you need to act quickly though. If you still want to keep her then I think putting her in a good schooling livery would be a sensible option after physical checks have been done, but please be honest with anyone you send her to about what she has done and keep in close contact while she is there.
Touching the horses nose to the elec is nothing, try bending over to have a look at the fly bites on your horses sheath, then as you go to wipe away something your not sure is a bit or a mark with your builders bum exposed and touching the elec fence! Not only did I get a zap in an inappropriate place but my poor gelding did too!!
I started to write a reply, but i was repeating what carthorse had said already! I think this is good advice and it is what I would do in your place, once I had got over my initial shock.
Just in case it hasn't crossed your mind re physical checks - if you go down this route then do have the saddle looked at, even if it is the saddle she came with and caused no trouble before. Reading between the lines, this might have been a child’s or teen’s pony before you bought her(?) The saddle can fit the pony but not the rider, for example, if the size of the saddle seat is too small for the rider’s seat and/or length of thigh, the rider can be pushed to the back of the saddle, which will make the pony sore very quickly. It’s not necessarily about weight but proportions and how you sit.
Wishing you a full and speedy recovery. I am so sorry this has happened to you.
Then you learn to communicate what it is you want to achieve and what you don't want.
Actually mine isn't an instructor anymore she's a coach. He job is to help me achieve what it is I want to achieve, she isn't actually teaching me, I can ride, but I would like to do xyz and she's assisting me to achieve xyz.
I can't speak for others, but if a new pony threw me and I injured myself to the extent I couldn't ride for three months. I would want someone on the ground there the next time I got on, after all the necessary checks.
Hi all just an update.
I have spoken to 3 previous owners and they have all said the same that shes a sweatheart and they have never known her to buck or be naughty/nasty or spooky in anyway.
I am feeling a bit crappy still as it seems like I am the only one she has been difficult for however I am happy i have found a solution.
One of her old owners is taking her back for me for a month or possibly 2. Shes getting picked up tomorrow morning and the lady knows her very well so is going to asses me for her and get her back checked too, its all a bit much for me at the moment as i can only just walk (my OH has been mucking out and doing the chores for me bless him.) So i am just so grateful someone is willing to help. I also think it will do belle good to be around people she knows and trusts. Another old owner has also offered to help us out too as she adores the pony and is keen to get her back to the schoolmistress pony they all know her as. The latest owner however isnt responding to messages or calls since i asked her if she would take her back from me (explained ive broken part of back etc too!) worst part of it is shes a professional dressage judge & instructor!!! So yes Im not ashamed to say that I did think i could trust her and i knew her.
My instructor is also going to help too, by us both visiting her, she will get on her for me to get to know her better etc so when/if i have her back she will be staying at my instructors yard untill i feel happy and safe with her.
Thanks for everybodies well wishes and advise. It is of course my priority to ensure the pony is not in any type of pain or discomfort asap. I will keep you all posted x
I have spoken to 3 previous owners and they have all said the same that shes a sweatheart and they have never known her to buck or be naughty/nasty or spooky in anyway.
I am feeling a bit crappy still as it seems like I am the only one she has been difficult for however I am happy i have found a solution.
One of her old owners is taking her back for me for a month or possibly 2. Shes getting picked up tomorrow morning and the lady knows her very well so is going to asses me for her and get her back checked too, its all a bit much for me at the moment as i can only just walk (my OH has been mucking out and doing the chores for me bless him.) So i am just so grateful someone is willing to help. I also think it will do belle good to be around people she knows and trusts. Another old owner has also offered to help us out too as she adores the pony and is keen to get her back to the schoolmistress pony they all know her as. The latest owner however isnt responding to messages or calls since i asked her if she would take her back from me (explained ive broken part of back etc too!) worst part of it is shes a professional dressage judge & instructor!!! So yes Im not ashamed to say that I did think i could trust her and i knew her.
My instructor is also going to help too, by us both visiting her, she will get on her for me to get to know her better etc so when/if i have her back she will be staying at my instructors yard untill i feel happy and safe with her.
Thanks for everybodies well wishes and advise. It is of course my priority to ensure the pony is not in any type of pain or discomfort asap. I will keep you all posted x
Good luck with her, and with getting yourself better. And yes do let us know how things turn out.
That's really great that you've got a plan for her already, well done for sorting that out.
I hate to mention a possible negative but please make sure you get a written contract in place before she goes to the previous owner, you are potentially liable if they were to be injured by her and as lovely as they may be if, for example, someone is suddenly faced with spending the rest of their life in a wheelchair it could turn nasty very quickly. So some kind of legal document like a loan agreement is the bare minimum you need to have in place to cover yourself. Even if there is no injury, surprise livery/training fees can suddenly appear when you aren't expecting them. Even a modified copy of the bhs loan agreement template (you can get it online) might be a good start. Best of luck
I hate to mention a possible negative but please make sure you get a written contract in place before she goes to the previous owner, you are potentially liable if they were to be injured by her and as lovely as they may be if, for example, someone is suddenly faced with spending the rest of their life in a wheelchair it could turn nasty very quickly. So some kind of legal document like a loan agreement is the bare minimum you need to have in place to cover yourself. Even if there is no injury, surprise livery/training fees can suddenly appear when you aren't expecting them. Even a modified copy of the bhs loan agreement template (you can get it online) might be a good start. Best of luck
How old is this point and how many previous homes had it had? Just a nosey question because these little ones are like golddust and don't often come onto the open market.
I am glad someone is stepping forwards to help you out.
Surely if you are visiting with instructor if/ when you take back she can come to you?
I am glad someone is stepping forwards to help you out.
Surely if you are visiting with instructor if/ when you take back she can come to you?
You should do agreement that if they fall of they won’t sue. Horse can change as they get older my horse was very lazy . when I first got her as the years went on my mare got forward . Horses change by age the people previously owned she could be completely different horse tha what she is now . Well I hope you feeling better she might not be the horse for you .
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