Free to a good home: Grumpy demanding MIL!

Trewsers

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Oct 13, 2004
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Sorry - another moan. MIL is literally having OH and I running round in rings. She texts us four times a day from hospital and makes lists and jobs for us to do. I could cry I am so fed up with it all. OH is trying to work (she does not respect the fact he works from home - she just thinks he sits doing nothing all day) and I am just fed up because I wanted to go see my parents today and sister whom I haven't seen for 2 years as she lives in Kent and does not come up often. But, MIL has yet again texted to order us to pick her up from hosp at some point - apparently they are sending her home. So, we have had to organise clothes etc as she had only night wear - and now after all these other chores she has set up for us I will get about 10 minutes with my sister. So fed up - she has her own sister who is much younger who could have picked her up who does not work etc and has all the time in the world but no, HAS to be us. Sorry for ranting I probably sound unreadonable but its putting miles on the car and petrol is a fortune - we are trying to save money and its 2 hours there and back - when her sister is literally on the doorstep. I guess OH feels duty bound. Of course is sister will start shouting the odds from Canada if we do anything wrong. Right - got that off my chest. sorry.
 

Trewsers

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Oct 13, 2004
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I don't know how you do it Trews! If it were me I'd be equally as demanding and make the sister pick her up. You have your family needs too.

That's the trouble - she treats me like I don't have any family, or life come to think of it. She just talks over me if I mention them - she sems to think life revolves around her. I tried to include mention of my parents yesterday at the hospital but she wasn't listening.
 

candyflosspot

bossy boots
Sep 7, 2010
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Pleased to hear that MIL is allowed to come home but im sorry you have had to forgo your trip to see your sister. :(

I can see your point about asking her sister to collect her -it does make more sense. Are they close? Perhaps she doesnt feel comfortable around her sister? :hug:hug:hug:hug:hug
 

Trewsers

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Oct 13, 2004
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Pleased to hear that MIL is allowed to come home but im sorry you have had to forgo your trip to see your sister. :(

I can see your point about asking her sister to collect her -it does make more sense. Are they close? Perhaps she doesnt feel comfortable around her sister? :hug:hug:hug:hug:hug

They are very close ! but she is selective about what she asks her to do!!!! ie anything involving putting herself out isn't on the agenda.
 

candyflosspot

bossy boots
Sep 7, 2010
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Sheffield
They are very close ! but she is selective about what she asks her to do!!!! ie anything involving putting herself out isn't on the agenda.

I feel for you trews ! You have way more patience than me. I would have flat out said "im sorry but i already have very important plans".. Your sis will need to collect you.
 

Lemme

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May 22, 2008
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Sorry but in this instance I would put my foot down, either Sister does it or OH does it on own, but I would go to parents as planned - its not been selfish at all - everybody is entitled to put themselves first now and again.

You are more tolerant than I would be.
 

Skib

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Dec 21, 2003
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I think you have to treat difficult people like horses - send clear messages.
In the past you have said (I think) that you have to go along with her because of your OH.
Now it could be she is anxious in hospital. So you could say you and OH work office hours. Please will she list the things she needs and let you know each day at 5.30 p.m. and then you will do your best.
If, after this warning, a text arrives in office hours text back - "Interim reply as currently working in office".
Manage her like a horse and give clear signals of boundaries.
 

squidsin

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Feb 16, 2013
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You have to stand up to her Trewsers - at least in this instance, so you can have a proper catch-up with your sister. I know it's hard! And you're being so good about looking after her, and obviously feel a strong sense of duty towards her. But she's in a safe place in hospital - how will she even know all her chores are being done? And why are they all so urgent? Sounds to me like there's a bit of a power trip going on there! Ignore her (or just nod and say 'yes yes of course we're mowing your lawn right now' or whatever) and have a nice bottle of wine with your sis!
 

diplomaticandtactful

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Apr 25, 2003
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sorry for you, men are usually hopeless at standing up to their mothers, much easier to upset wife.

I think sometimes you just have to say if you want to make a rod for a back, it can be yours, not mine, and be a bit more assertive that you have responsibilities too and also a life.

Working from home, like I do, people tend to think you are 'available' i.e. people come to stay mid week and wonder why I can't go out with them, but I am at work.
 

Trewsers

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Oct 13, 2004
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Thanks all for listening. I did worry that I was being selfish - anyway what happened was this: MIL texted to say they were sending her home (twice) but couldn't say for sure when. So I just thought knickers and said we should go to my parents as planned - well I am pleased to say I am glad I suited myself because I got to spend the afternoon with my lovely sister and the hospital still haven't discharged MIL! So, I would have spent all day moping about on stand by for nothing. She has said she is waiting for medication so hopefully after that we can go pick her up. I am glad I suited us today and not her.
 

jovi_y2k2

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Apr 5, 2002
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You're not being selfish at all, you already had plans in place and you hadn't seen your sister for so long!
Someone is being selfish, but it isn't you or Mr T :wink:
 

Cortrasna

Grumpy old nag
Aug 5, 2009
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I am so glad you got to spend time with your sis Trewsers. I couldn't reply with an opinion earlier as the woman's utter self centered and me, me, me attitude, had me almost typing a Cortrasna type rant on your behalf!:bounce: My advice would have been harsh and unpleasant for your awful MIL! Oh my - aren't I getting good at sitting on my hands in my old age? :redface:
 

volcy

Cob Collector
Nov 6, 2008
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! Oh my - aren't I getting good at sitting on my hands in my old age? :redface:

Sadly yes, although perhaps you could be dispatched to trewsers MiL to teach her how to sit on hers when she's thinking about sending them another text or starting another list?! :giggle:
 

Trewsers

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Oct 13, 2004
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I am so glad you got to spend time with your sis Trewsers. I couldn't reply with an opinion earlier as the woman's utter self centered and me, me, me attitude, had me almost typing a Cortrasna type rant on your behalf!:bounce: My advice would have been harsh and unpleasant for your awful MIL! Oh my - aren't I getting good at sitting on my hands in my old age? :redface:

Lol what would I do without you guys?!!! Hospital finally discharged her so we are picking her up now - she's had to wait an extra half hour whilst I sorted the horses out, but its going to be a late night so I thought I would get them done now!
 

squidsin

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Feb 16, 2013
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Sadly yes, although perhaps you could be dispatched to trewsers MiL to teach her how to sit on hers when she's thinking about sending them another text or starting another list?! :giggle:

Ha ha! :giggle:
 

Cortrasna

Grumpy old nag
Aug 5, 2009
10,143
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Sadly yes, although perhaps you could be dispatched to trewsers MiL to teach her how to sit on hers when she's thinking about sending them another text or starting another list?! :giggle:

Oh boy would I soon whip the old biddy into shape! :giggle: She is letting my generation down and giving us all a bad name - needs to learn a few manners and taught not be so bold with our Mr. and Mrs. Trewsers!:bounce:
 
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