Goodbye Ramsey

Hugs to you Huggy, it’s very early days, don’t be hard on yourself. It’s a huge loss which I think is just as painful as losing a human family member, time will help take the rawness away but you have to take each day as it comes and deal with it as best you can. Xx
 
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Feeling very low today. I can't put my mind to anything. I know it'll get easier, but much as I adore Hogan, I can't really pay him much attention just now, even though I'm so glad I have him. If I didn't, I think this sadness would spiral into depression. It rained last night, and for a split second I found myself thinking I should have put Ramseys rug on. I'll pull myself together soon.
You don't need to "pull yourself together" It's a bereavement, it's a bloody big smack in the teeth for you. You are entitled to feel like that. No pulling yourself together needed. Be kind to yourself, and don't set goals that others expect of you, it's ok to be in a complete heap.
 
I still struggle going into his field, but animals have a way of keeping things in perspective, and telling it like it is. Ramseys field mate is completely unperturbed - he used to go mental whenever Ramsey left the field. Chester, the barn cat, used to sleep in Ramseys box, I haven't seen him in there since, and as I sat with Ramsey, after he'd gone, Chester kept trying to walk over him. Hogan was usually over at the fence to Ramseys field, when I arrived to see to them. Haven't seen him there since, even though the other horse is still in there. As I led Hogan into the barn the other day (the day he crippled me!) He stopped dead at Ramseys stable door, as though he expected him to be there, then almost shrugged, as if to say 'Oh well' and meandered on into his stable. As far as they're concerned, life really does just go on.20170110_095953.jpg
 
so sorry but you did the right thing if he was losing his way. Worst thing is finding their stuff. Years after we lost big ears donkey I came upon her vaccination card and just blubbed. Even when you have others, it doesn't really help that much as some you would lose and not feel such pain. I remember to this day the call at 3am from the vet hospital saying she had collicked again and nothing to be done. I just howled and howled, especially as I wasn't with her. At least you were with him at the end, I find that a comfort as two of them I haven't been there.
 
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Thank you everyone for the sympathy and lovely messages. I stayed up until 2am the other night making a little tribute to my lovely boy. May seem a bit morbid or soppy, but I felt good when I'd done it. I've got 3 shoes left - one each for my grandson and granddaughter, who loved him dearly, and one for my daughter's wedding day next year.20190504_194434.jpg
 
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That's lovely, and not at all morbid or soppy. I hope you're managing ok, I know I found it hard for a long time - still do now if I'm honest, just not all the time x
 
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A year today I let my lovely boy go. I miss him, but I look at the pictures from the day he went, and I know it had to be. He looks so tired. Love you my special boy.Screenshot_20200424-102345_Gallery.jpg
 
Another year passed, and thinking of him still brings tears. I'm not going to think of him tired and poorly - I'll remember him as a happy, vibrant boy, loving life and having fun together.Screenshot_20210424-115407_Gallery.jpg
 
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