Has anybody lost their mum to cancer?

Laura2184

Laura2184

Active Member
Mar 1, 2005
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Cheshire
www.cheshiretackroom.co.uk
On Tuesday my mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer. On Friday more tests concluded that it had spread to her liver and lungs and that it was blocking her bowel stopping food from passing through. They couldnt get the endoscope past it was that blocked.

She has lost an awful lot of weight and is so tired.

I am devastated as my mum and I are so close. We do everything together.

We are waiting on the biopsy results to see how aggresive the cancer is but they have said there is nothing they can really do.

Is anybody going through anything similar? I can see my horse is going to be my therapy for the forseeable.:frown:
 
No I haven't but I just wanted to give you a MASSIVE virtual hug. I cannot even think about losing my mum, especially to cancer :( Really gentle hugs coming both your way xxxx
 
I am so, so sorry to hear this, for all of you. I know that feeling of the ground opening up under you and nothing to stop you falling.

Yes, I lost my mother to cancer.

Hers was untreatable. There is nothing I can say or do to help, I won't pretend we did not all go through hell and back. All you can do is be there for each other and don't let it be an elephant in the room. We found that my mother and I coped better by talking and discussing it. My dad chose to ignore it and pretended she had a cold and would get better. He suffered more in the long run I think.

You will all find your own coping strategies. Be as strong as you can be.
 
Thankyou. I think I'm still in the 'why my mum?' stage.

She's only 59, always out walking the dog, gardening, mucking out the horses, she's never ill, healthy diet, doesnt smoke, hardly drinks. Only risk factor was her mum died of breast cancer when she was young.
 
I too am so very sorry to read this.... I know there is nothing I can say or do that will help and although I haven't lost my mum to cancer have lost several other relatives to it, Wally's advice is the way I've dealt with it in the past.
Lots of hugs to you all and know that we are thinking of you. x
 
I am so sorry, what an awful shock.

My mum had breast cancer and had a mastectomy. Touch wood, she has been lucky so far and seems to be ok but she was lucky in that she got it when she was older and that seems to be a factor.

Hugs, enjoy the time you have left - I have no coping strategies to offer though Wally's one seems very wise.
 
Can only echo others words - have lost other relatives to cancer, not mum.

I can only imagine how you must be feeling - like the rug has been taken from under you I should think.

Sending you both ((((hugs)))), will be thinking of you. xxx
 
So so sorry. My dad had colon cancer 3 years ago, he has just been for a check up and is currently classed as clear. I am so sorry your mum hasn't had positive news.
 
I am so sorry for both your mum and you

All I can say is from when my mum and Auntie had it, the nurses and hospital staff were amazing, they will take the best care of your mum. I really really hope there is something that can be done
 
So sorry to read this post. :(

Yes, I lost my mum just before Christmas 2002. She was 60. She should have been able to fight and had surgery and a colostomy bag fitted which she was doing well with, but she caught MRSA in hospital and wasn't able to fight the infections and the cancer took a real hold again. :(

The doctors were pretty awful TBH, and even when she was in hospital, the doctor took Dad and I to a private room where we feared the worst, but he didn't tell us she was terminal. He said she wanted to go home and could we arrange a hospital bed/room at home. So we did, and took her home. We all thought she was recovering.

It wasn't until she was sick one morning and her own doctor came that he told us, 'Don't you realise she's only got a matter of days to live?!' :eek: :( :(

It was like the bottom fell out of my world.

She lasted another 2 weeks. It was hell. I won't deny that. I miss my mum every day.

I am so so sorry for you and your mum that she's not had more positive news. I really suggest you talk to a Macmillan Nurse, they were utterly amazing with mum and with us. They will talk with you and explain things to you.

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/HowWeCanHelp/Nurses/AboutMacmillanNurses.aspx

Kxx
 
I did but it isnt of use to you as OH and I lost our mothers to cancer when they were very old women. We have been where you are when our sisters, younger than us, died of cancer. My sister was like your Mum very fit and sporty and in the prime of life in her mid fifties which makes it hard to cope with.
She lost out all round and so did her daughters. I cant comfort you.
The one thing she said to me was that if there was something I wanted to do, in my case riding horses, I should get on and do it while I had the chance. There was a lot she planned to do when she retired and she never did.
I now see how right she was to hope that the rest of us would make the most of our lives, and I am sure your Mum will want that for you.
 
My mum lives with cancer, it can't be cured but can hopefully remain able to be managed.

My mother in law died aged 55 after a long drawn out stay in hospital, 6 months, 11 years ago and that was so hard.

Now we are watching my father in law die due to advanced dementia. It's horrific and it is dreadful to watch. Worse than that, we've had to go through the palliative care agreement with his doctor (she approached us) and the care home. Whilst its hard to come to terms with the fact that its in his best interests to not treat for anything except pain. He already has a DNR in place (his doing when he first knew he was sick) but he isn't going to suddenly die due to something major, it's a slow debilitating build up of little things. It's hurting my hubby beyond measure and my daughter is getting extra support at school and now can't bear to visit. We're falling apart.

If your mum isn't going to get better, I wish her the best and most comfortable dignified end and that you can all enjoy the time she has left as much as possible xxx
 
So sorry to hear this, hugs for you, and well wishes for your mum.

I am lucky to still have my mum, but my mum lost her own mother when she was 29 to bone cancer. She was about 63 I think. My mum nursed her whilst my brother and sister were young, before I was born. I count my blessings every day, as mum was already without her mother at my age.

Make the most of every day x
 
I am so very sorry to read this, it must be so difficult for you. I wish I had some words of comfort, but everything that comes to mind sounds rather trite when you are burdened with such a huge and overwhelming sadness. I will just send you huge hugs and support vibes and pray that your mother has a peaceful, painfree and dignified journey. xx
 
I am so so sorry to hear about your mum :frown:

My nan currently has stage 4 breast cancer so can say I understand how you feel to a certain extent - but it's still not my mum, which I don't know how i'd cope with.

Be as strong as you can be and deal with it in your own way xx
 
No pet I havent and I really feel for you :cry:

My friend did last summer. Her mum was 50 and active at the horses all the time etc and such a shock as came from nowhere and very fast. I just cant imagine what they went through or what you are going through.

Big hugs xx
 
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