Horrid lesson – time to call it a day?

F

Feawen

Active Member
Jan 12, 2012
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Sorrry this will be very long and ranty. I had a horrid lesson last night. My usual instructor was ill so I joined a group lesson with the senior instructor instead. I’ve had lessons before with her and we didn’t really gel, but in the circumstances I was happy to fit in.

I was continually told to get after the pony I was riding, give him a kick, give him a smack, he’s being lazy. I brought him slightly off the track to do some canter work because it has got very churned up and boggy. Instructor yelled why the **** aren’t you using the corners of the school, are you being lazy or are you out of control? The whole tone of the lesson was pretty much the same.

Pony is a stressy type and whip-shy but very willing. After my warm up he was forward, round, and swinging through his back. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m far from perfect and there was plenty to work on, but lazy he wasn’t.

We were working on lengthening and shortening the trot over poles. The distance was set to accommodate the 3 15hh+ horses in the group, so pony had to really reach, and he was working his little socks off for me. We came over the poles towards the corner where the RI was standing, in what was pretty much a full on extended trot.

RI stepped forward suddenly and flung out both arms just as we came over the last pole, right in front of us. Pony spun 180 degrees and plunged back over the poles in canter then shot off around the school. He was startled but came back to walk and settled down. Turned to the RI and said 'whoops, what happened there?'. Frankly I was expecting an apology. Instead I got an earful about my bad riding and was told to haul on the left rein and whack him, and that she was surprised I hadn't fallen off.

I was absolutely fuming by this point, so rather than explode I dropped my reins on the pony's neck and turned him away. After shouting after me for a bit the RI turned her attention back to the other riders, so I ran through the exercise once more to finish on a good note then dismounted.

I have no idea what any of this was about - she was fine with the other riders in the group. I didn't get a single positive or constructive comment, and I now really don't trust this RI's judgement. Lessons with my usual teacher are very different, but this one is her boss. I don't know whether I want to go back to the RS or not.

Part of me says stick with it but turn down lessons with SRI in future, the other part says run far away! I have other options / horses to ride, but lessons are harder to come by. Help :help:
 
This sounds a bit like the school i first rode at..with a similar sounding pony who was whip shy but would respond if he saw it & i was constantly told to "kick kick kick" so as a newbie this is what i did. I kicked & kicked.

I wasnt being taught how to ride, the instructor was just interested in £££'s and would regularly have complete beginners who would just have to circle around the inner section of the arena with riders (like me who were novices but had been having lessons longer) just doing circles on the outer track. It was very dangerous and it was chaos in the arena on more than occasion. At this point i had enough of the way the lessons were conducted and also had enough of how the horses were treated (think poorly fitting, seriously ancient tack). Saddles that were put on a number of different horses, no turn out. I could go on all day ( i should point out that this is a BHS approved school as well) so i found another school which was a revelation because i had to learn a new way of riding (so rather than kick kick kick i was taught to squeeze ).

so to answer your original question no dont give up especially if you dont want too.. i personally would find an alternative school & continue having lessons elsewhere.
 
poor pony :( (and poor you of course)
I am probably older but I would have probably explained my reasoning (I am avoiding the corners because the footing has really gotten churned up, etc. to keep the pony out of trouble)

At the barn I take lessons at I seriously despise the barn owner. But I like the RI.
So I just make sure I don't cross paths with the YO and just enjoy what good things the yard has to offer.

Sorry you had such a stressful lesson. So why in the hell DID she jump in front of you???
 
Oh my god do not give that place your hard earned cash again..

I would not care what her reasons are you pay her to teach you to ride there fore for that period of time she is in YOUR employment. would you treat an employee like that? I doubt it.

Find another yard I know you said lessons where harder to come by but you can still learn to ride on hacks while having fun with it and refine your style and skills latter once you have started to enjoy yours riding time again.

Poor you but personnel I would have a servous one way conversation with this monster of a woman.
 
Is she the RS manager too or is that a different person?

if it were me i would write a complaint about her and never return to that RS.

Actually if i had been riding i would have absolutely laid into the RI and told her exactly what i thought of her!
 
There seems to be more and more of this sort of attitude from RIs being written about on forums. I find it unbelievable that they keep their customers!

Whatever you do, don't give up riding if you enjoy it because of this one rat bag of an instructor. There are a thousand other excellent RIs out there, give your hard earned money to one of them!:frown:
 
Cortrasna said:
There seems to be more and more of this sort of attitude from RIs being written about on forums. I find it unbelievable that they keep their customers!

Whatever you do, don't give up riding if you enjoy it because of this one rat bag of an instructor. There are a thousand other excellent RIs out there, give your hard earned money to one of them!:frown:
Click to expand...

^^^^ this, with knobs on.
 
Thanks so much for all your comments. I feel so much better for explaining to people who 'get it'!

Candyflosspot - it is an odd yard. Several of the horses are quite well schooled, including the pony I was riding. In my normal lessons we have worked on shoulder-in, travers, a little half-pass, simple changes etc. If every lesson was like this one then I'd have voted with my feet long ago, but I've had some great rides too, which is why I'm hesitating. Sounds like you found a brilliant school - it's a shame they seem to be so rare.

KarinUS - I'm 24 (old enough to know better but short enough to ride ponies :redface:), but yes I think I should have spoken up more. I tend to shut down when I get upset so as not to lose my temper. And I have absolutely no idea why :frown:. I was meant to be riding deeper into the corners (on the churned-up track) but she sent the pony the other way.

OwnedbyChanter - Yes I am seriously considering this. This RI is the yard manager too though, so if I give her a piece of my mind I'll have burned my bridges with the yard :devil:

I gave up on schooling and lessons for a few years after my own horse retired, because after trying several instructors I simply lost the will. This RS seemed like a breath of fresh air when I first found it. Hacking is great and I might go back to just that for a while - I exercise one horse weekly and a couple of others as-and-when. I miss the cameraderie of lessons with a good instructor though, and the feeling of riding a horse that works 'correctly'.
 
Seems a pity to change if you like your usual RI, and the place generally. Just refuse if they ever offer you a lesson with that tyrant instead - up to you whether you say it's because you don't like her, or whether you just say you prefer to stick with the usual one, and you don't mind missing a lesson if she's not around.

The only way these people will ever get the message is if clients vote with their feet.
 
You poor thing.
Have you any idea why she flung out her arms?
I did once have an RI do that, fling her arms out in the path of the horse, and yes I did fall - It was a really stupid thing to do, but I understood why she did it, trying to head the horse off in a different direction. And since I wasnt hurt we put it behind us. But that was at a school where I was happy.
Schools where the RI is horrid to one are a different matter. It is psychologically appallingly difficult for an adult to leave a riding school where they are being bullied as it means leaving the security of the place and horses one knows and leaving after a difficulty can rule out opportunities for one's future riding. One can find oneself virtually banned, as I am.
But unless you can sort this out with your normal teacher and get to feel relaxed at that yard, I would suggest going elsewhere, at least for a time. One good tactic is to say nothing negative and simply go for a few specialist lessons with a special teacher somewhere else.
Dont think of it in a negative way - just looking for a new approach or something more advanced. It isnt just in learning to ride that it becomes harder to find good teachers as one gets more advanced. It happens with music and language learning too. One needs positively to look out good teaching, and be prepared to leave a class in which one isnt learning well.
 
I would just stay out of the SRI's way if you like it there, though I suppose your money is ending up in her pocket, not sure how i'd feel knowing that too :/ I had a lesson at a BHS approved school with a friend once, she'd sung its praises, the instructor compete's at a high level, I was really looking forwards to it. After an hour of being told to hit the horse I was on repeatedly, even when he was vaguely forward and despite it having no effect at all, told to 'get it's head in' and her threatening to chase me with a lunge whip I have vowed never to go back! Awful.
 
I think she flung out her arms to turn the pony, but she caused him to spin right when she wanted him to go around her to the left, so it wasn't very well thought through. So there was the potential safety issue, but also the lack of logic or horse-sense behind the action, and the fact it was rude.

I will continue lessons with my current instructor for now, to keep my options open. If she is not available to teach me then I can re-book for another time rather than slotting in to the group lesson again. I think it will be obvious enough why - it was very clear that this week did not go well!

Skib - thank you for your support. I think you are spot on in that I need to be a little more proactive about seeking out good instruction.

I've been thinking for a while about trying some classical dressage lessons, if I can find an instructor who will teach on his/her own horses. Unfortunately I don't really have a suitable horse to take lessons on, which rules out freelance instructors, sadly including the trainer who used to teach me on my horse. Recommendations welcome :)
 
As daughter and I teach ourselves we are very fussy who we pay to have lessons with!!

We need to feel safely challenged, get something new out of the experience and want to repeat it.

Some of our best lessons have been from the least likely people without teaching 'qualifications' but immense experience.

Do not give up because of an instructor, find a new one!!

Flinging arms out at a pony is a stupid thing even my lead rein teenage helpers know not to do!!
 
Don't book them again.

I had one instructor who smacked the pony i was mounting on, which caused it to spin me off, but she wasn't to blame! That was the last lesson.
 
I am in Cambridgeshire, though I’d be happy to venture further afield for a few specialist lessons.

Lessons with my usual RI are low-pressure, fun, and she is happy to let me experiment. She is a capable rider and teacher, but not a dressage specialist. I have been paying for enjoyable riding rather than expert instruction. If I seriously want to progress then I probably need to find a different school regardless of the SRI, who I will certainly not be having any more to do with.
 
update

Well, I went back to the RS last night for a lesson with my usual instructor (not the tyrant). It was so much better than last week! We were actually working on similar things – mostly transitions within paces. So moving from working trot to collected trot by increasing impulsion while maintaining the rhythm, then transitioning up to medium without allowing the horse to rush or drop onto the forehand. Then at the end we practised alternating between collected trot to medium transitions and collected trot to canter transitions, to check that the horses had fully understood and our aids were precise enough to make the difference clear.

By the end of the lesson, pony was tuned in enough to turn from my weight aids, make transitions within the trot from my seat aids, and move up to canter when I brushed my outside leg slightly back. No kicking, pulling or whacking ;)

I still have plenty to work on, and there are some things I know this RI doesn’t pick up. For example, sometimes I notice that my weight has tipped more onto one seat-bone than the other, and I have to re-adjust. Then the pony will “miraculously” straighten (which she does notice). I could really do with someone who would spot that and correct me right away, to help me figure out where the habit stems from and to help me break it.

That was a bit of a ramble – I just wanted to post something positive after feeling so fed-up last week. Thanks for all your reassurance.
 
If you are ever down to the Surrey/Berkshire borders I do simulator lessons in Chobham, Surrey. On the sim I especially concentrate on the seat, posture and absorbtion of the movement. This is much easier to do on a simulator :smile: If not, I would recomend you try to find someone who does similar in your area.
 
Thanks Kathy :). You are rather out-of-the-way for me unfortunately, but simulator lessons are definitely worth looking into, I can see how they could be very helpful!
 
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