How to help a loved one through losing a pet?

MrA

MrA

Well-Known Member
Feb 8, 2012
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My bf is really going through a rough time at the moment, his dog that he's had for his whole life is sadly very old and frail now. She's gradually been sleeping more and more and he's so worried about losing her, its stressing him out so much.

He's lost all enthusiasm in life atm and has phoned in sick for work again today. I just wish there was a way I could make this easier for him. He says he's okay but he's clearly not. I've lost much loved pets but I don't know how best to help when its someone else losing them.
 
Just be there for him - if he wants to talk about it then fine - if not, just try and be patient if he is a bit out of sorts. It is hard so just play it by ear. I am guessing the dog will soon be pts? If so, I am thinking until thats actually happened he won't be able to move on. Last year when OH lost Joe - once the deed was done - even tho it was sad and awful he could at least start to move on and remember all the good times they had together. Lots of sympathy to your boyfriend btw.
 
I'm currently staring at having one of my beloved piggies pts... She not been well this weekend, and I'm now faced with whether I want to continue putting her through all this. She's spending a lot of time hiding away and not eating much, the only things that are working at the moment is fresh grass and dandelion leaves :frown:
Just be there for him, it's so hard I know, but she'll tell him when it's time XX
 
I can remember one of my children being inconsolable when their childhood Labrador died. They were both in their early teens , one coped ok'ish the other one felt his life would never be the same again without her by his side.

I felt the same a few years later when my shadow died ( a collie bitch this time). I don't think people who don't have any animals really understand that for the owner it is almost as bad as losing a family member. (Sorry if that offends anyone) but that is how I see it. :redface:

As has been said...just be there for him if he wants to talk about it....or let him be if he just needs his own company and thoughts for awhile. Tis very, very had to see someone you love and care about going through this grief...but sadly it is inevitable if we have pets and truly care for them and love them.:frown:
 
I found this poem comforting in a weird sort of way. But be careful - I guarantee it will bring tears to the eyes of anyone who's ever lost a beloved dog:


The Power of the Dog

by Rudyard Kipling



There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie ---
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers, or loaded guns,
Then you will find -- it's your own affair --
But....you've given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With it's whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still ! )
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone -- wherever it goes -- for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept'em, the more do we grieve;

For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long --
So why in -- Heaven ( before we are there )
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
 
Cortrasna said:
I can remember one of my children being inconsolable when their childhood Labrador died. They were both in their early teens , one coped ok'ish the other one felt his life would never be the same again without her by his side.

I felt the same a few years later when my shadow died ( a collie bitch this time). I don't think people who don't have any animals really understand that for the owner it is almost as bad as losing a family member. (Sorry if that offends anyone) but that is how I see it. :redface:

As has been said...just be there for him if he wants to talk about it....or let him be if he just needs his own company and thoughts for awhile. Tis very, very had to see someone you love and care about going through this grief...but sadly it is inevitable if we have pets and truly care for them and love them.:frown:
Click to expand...

This^^ Absolutely! To me, losing a pet is the same as losing a family member because they are family. I think you need to encourage him to think of the good times, and just why they were special. When I lost my mare who I'd had for 20 years, I had several cards and flowers which meant such a lot to me. Just knowing that other people appreciated how much she'd meant to me helped. Thinking of you, hugs xx
 
It's breaking my heart I can't be with him right now, im terrible in situations like this as I just get so upset. He's with his family though and they have spent the day togethershe is getting pts tomorrow. Im in pieces can't even imagine how they all are. But thankyou for all your words, fingers crossed it will get easier for him, tomorrow is our anniversary too
 
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