I don't deserve to have such a lovely, gentle horse.
Had a disaster of a schooling session tonight.
We've not been doing much schooling recently but have been focusing on hacking so decided that as it was such a nice night we'd do some in the large field. We've done some work in the smaller xc field but I wanted to focus solely on flat work without the distraction of the jumps so we went into the massive summer field which is about 20 times the size of the xc field.
It was a disaster - C was constatly rushing, breaking into canter, when I tried to circle him in trot he would overbend and try and drift out through the shoulder, he refused to walk in a straight line, was napping for the gate and just generally ignoring me.
I tried to keep a light contact and tense my back and use my voice and seat to steady him to no avail, half halts were ignored and I could feel myself getting more and more wound up and I eventually screamed at him and yanked on his mouth and for a very split second I though he might go up but he just raised his head a bit as the baby was obviously upset and confused. Tried to calm it all down with lots of walk but as soon as I asked for trot he was off again, totally ignoring me and resulting in me again losing my temper and yanking on his poor mouth.
My poor baby, he was being a brat but he didn't deserve that - he was confused and excited in a new environment and I did nothing to calm him down and reassure him, in fact, I made it worse by hurting him unnecissarily(sp).
I honestly don't think I could feel any worse just now - I'm not writing this thread because I'm looking for pity or reassurance but I want to have this recorded to remind myself never to do this in future.
Had a disaster of a schooling session tonight.
We've not been doing much schooling recently but have been focusing on hacking so decided that as it was such a nice night we'd do some in the large field. We've done some work in the smaller xc field but I wanted to focus solely on flat work without the distraction of the jumps so we went into the massive summer field which is about 20 times the size of the xc field.
It was a disaster - C was constatly rushing, breaking into canter, when I tried to circle him in trot he would overbend and try and drift out through the shoulder, he refused to walk in a straight line, was napping for the gate and just generally ignoring me.
I tried to keep a light contact and tense my back and use my voice and seat to steady him to no avail, half halts were ignored and I could feel myself getting more and more wound up and I eventually screamed at him and yanked on his mouth and for a very split second I though he might go up but he just raised his head a bit as the baby was obviously upset and confused. Tried to calm it all down with lots of walk but as soon as I asked for trot he was off again, totally ignoring me and resulting in me again losing my temper and yanking on his poor mouth.
My poor baby, he was being a brat but he didn't deserve that - he was confused and excited in a new environment and I did nothing to calm him down and reassure him, in fact, I made it worse by hurting him unnecissarily(sp).
I honestly don't think I could feel any worse just now - I'm not writing this thread because I'm looking for pity or reassurance but I want to have this recorded to remind myself never to do this in future.