I fell off- and my confidence went with me!!

Kirsty McDonald

Kirsty McDonald

Member
Jan 4, 2015
50
35
18
Glasgow
Not sure if I need a kick up the proverbial bottom and to get on with it or if taking it slowly with patience is best.
This is going to be a long post- I'm sorry! It is more of a vent and an attempt to get things straight in my head!

A few weeks ago I was riding a different horse at my RS who is not long back and can be quite cold backed, especially when you first get on- you have to walk a few strides in jumping position before sitting, but once she gets warmed up she is generally fine.
In the lesson in question, everything was going brilliantly, I was so happy with how she was going- it was just one of those lessons where I managed to harness her young, excitable energy and convert it to a wonderful lesson. She gave me a great trot without being to headstrong. Tried a couple of 20m circles and she had a beautiful bend and was just generally being fantastic- I think you get the gist, it was brilliant. Until I asked for canter. She put in a MASSIVE buck and there was not much I could do: before I knew it I was flying. I can only put it down to her excitement and being young. Needless to say, I did some sort of summersault and landed flat on my back, thankfully I ride in a body protector so the blow was somewhat softened. I got back on though and she settled in the school, and we went out a hack and she gave some smaller bucks but I was ready for her this time and she was kept going forward! I managed over the weekend but decided I could be doing with some stronger painkillers so went to the gp on the monday who sent me straight to a&e (oops ) luckily no fractures but a soft tissue injury to my pelvis and lover spine.

I know this is a pretty decent fall, so I shouldn't be too hard on myself, but you all know that that's not how it works!

I rode a few days after on my trusted Wizard- he is a saint, and although I was still a bit sore, the lesson itself went quite well. I was nervous, but it was how I remember the nerves at my first lesson- nervous and excited. I have been riding Wizard since and been nervous at first but settled into it.
However, today I switched back to Fanta, the mare I have ridden well for months and I couldn't even get a good trot today. She is a typical chestnut mare and so if the rider is nervous so is she. Of course I took confidence from this in the past knowing that I must be a fairly decent rider because I could get her to work really well. But today I was nervous and she was spooked by everything from the sprinklers to the RI, and all because I couldn't get my nerves in check, which then made me more frustrated and tense, which she interpreted as nerves and got more nervous herself and we were just a bit of a mess. My RI was great though and eventually, just at the end, I switched back to Wizard just for a walk and trot so that I could finish with my heart where it is supposed to be and Fanta's beating at a normal rate.

How can I get my nerves sorted?! I know how irrational they are- I have ridden Fanta and done lots of exciting things on her for months!
If anyone has any tips it would be great to hear anything you have to say- constructive criticism or anything else you have to offer.
 
I don't think your nerves are irrational at all after such a spectacular fall. I don't have any words of wisdom (I am sure many others will) but I just wanted to say how good and brave you were to get back on.
 
I agree its not irrational, it sounds like youre shook up and taking it easy but at the same time riding fanta as much as you can and you will be back in sync in no time.
Just to add she doesn't exactly sound easy for a RS horse, so kudos for doing so well before, unfortunately with the more highly strung ones I have often found the highs are super high but the lows can be just as dramatic but stick it out and you get back to the highs :)
 
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Ditto the others. My little mare is a known bucker, and is absolutely fantastic at doing head stands. She very rarely gets me off with a buck these days but I used to be scared of her. I was so scared to put my leg on incase she bucked, in any pace. Then my RI at the time showed that by kicking on (figuratively!), she bucked less as we were going faster. Unfortunately it's easy for us to give advice over the forum, it's easy for us to say 'keep trying, your confidence will improve again', but without knowing why she's cold backed, and bucks, you'll never truly be able to feel safe. 'Cold backed' horses tend to have unresolved back problems which can also obviously make them buck, likewise a poorly fitting saddle.

But anyway, I've taken a few too many spills for my likings, mostly jumping. I don't think you ever truly get over a confidence knock, but you do rebuild it and get over the knock.
 
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I'm not entirely sure why she is cold backed, I have ridden her before, in a jumping lesson, and she was fine then, so it must be something that has developed recently :( my RI knows what it is but I can't remember, it is being sorted though which is a positive.

It's spring break next week, so I'm off uni for two weeks and hoping to get a fair few lessons in, I think more saddle time is the only way I'm going to get over this.:confused: It's so frustrating knowing that what I have been doing for ages I am now finding impossible :mad:

Such is life I guess, these things happen- who doesn't have set backs? I love it and can't possibly give it up, so I just need to work with my RI to get through/over it

Thank you everyone
 
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You sound like you understand your nerves pretty well. Despite a bad fall, you still write very positively and that leads me to believe that you have the determination to get there and to me that's the most important thing you need.
You're gonna have set backs, some will feel insurmountable and make you question your choice of hobby. But as you get more confident, the knock backs don't push you down so far and are easier to recover from.
You've just got to chip away at it, be gentle when you're reintroducing yourself after a bad experience (eg ride a horse you're happy with following a bad fall like you did) and just keep at it. I always found that the thoughts before the ride were the worst bit. just make friends with your nerves, they are there for a reason, don't try and fight against them and you can overcome it.
Every ride is like money in the bank of confidence. It may not feel it at the time and some will be disasterous but they all count.
 
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You're right, thanks @Flipo's Mum I do just need to chip away at it: she didn't buck me off intentionally so why would a different horse do the same thing without good reason? And I know both Fanta and Wizard don't have reason. I just need to think these things when I'm riding!
 
One thing I will say too is and this may not apply, but if you are riding with a sore lower back/pelvis you may feel different to the horse you are riding which could (as in the case of my old TB) make them a bit more nervous. Anyhow, sounds like you are doing brilliantly I think.
 
Eeeeep I did it, I did it!!! I cantered in my lesson today and it was the best canter I have ever done! Perfect transition and everything just went perfectly and it was just great! The second time I did lose both stirrups but I actually felt really balanced and totally unphased by it! As my RI said- if that had happened last week I would have jumped off and cried, but it didn't feel any different and I was smiling and breathing the whole time! Don't know where my confidence has come from but I am loving riding again! I bathed Wizard yesterday and have just been spending some time with him since we're off from uni for the next two weeks and I think that has definitely helped, but all I know is that I am so so so happy! Thank you everyone for your advice, they have all in the back of my mind and have subconsciously brought my confidence back! Yippee!!
 
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Hi, Thats great! Well done! I totally understand how youve been feeling as I'm currently going through a confidence wobble. My mind works overtime and actually zaps my confidence which is flipping frustrating to say the least:( I love riding through and its a enormous part of my life so I'm determined to over this wobble. I suppose even top riders have their fair share of falls, my ri said to me do you remember your first fall? To which I replied, yes. She then said your 2nd, 3rd,4th, 5th etc to which I answered, no. Then she said to put things into perspective most falls are minor its the odd ones that shake us, and she's right as a child I spent a lot of time in a heap but could only remember a handful well. x
 
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so sorry to hear about your fall and glad to hear things are on the mend. I really believe that everything we do is a calculated risk. Riding is dangerous and Ive been riding around 30 years.... but i do everything I can to minimise risks, not because I’m particularly nervous but because I believe I am sensible and am responsible for a small child. 20 years ago I was a lot more gung ho but life experience shows you that life is fragile and in many cases too short. I always wear a good, well fitting hat, a bp or air jacket and always make sure i have on the correct footwear, that stirrups are not too narrow (pet hate) and have barnes buckle safety clips on my stirrups. I always check tack is sound and fits well. In addition, would I get on a known bucker that was cold backed?? Hell no. I can’t quite get my head round the fact a RS is using a horse like this if I’m honest. I feel really sorry for you, I don’t think your fears are irrational but in your shoes I would look at minimising risk by choosing a RS that uses horses fit for purpose :( It does sound like you are doing brilliantly and huge well done but just bare in mind you can chose not to ride such a horse in future.
 
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Completely agree with CharliesAngel - your fear isn't irrational, I wouldn't get on a cold-backed bucker either. In fact, one RS I had lessons at had one such horse that they - quite unbelievably, in my opinion - did use for novices and after I saw it bronc off three riders in the space of one lesson, I refused point blank ever to get on it.
 
I agree, @CharliesAngel, I do take all of the precautions I can. I have to say that I absolutely do not blame the riding school, it's not where I usually ride- I had taken my mum away on an equestrian break for mother's day but I have ridden there before and had no problems, so I really don't think it's their fault at all- these are animals after all! I have ridden and jumped the horse a good few times before on other occasions so they had no reason think she'd buck me. I shouldn't have asked for canter when she was as excitable as she was and should have tried to calm her down more. Sorry if this seems really defensive but I'd hate to talk badly about them when it's such a fabulous place and what happened was, as they say, a series of unfortunate events!
 
Kirsty McDonald said:
I agree, @CharliesAngel, I do take all of the precautions I can. I have to say that I absolutely do not blame the riding school, it's not where I usually ride- I had taken my mum away on an equestrian break for mother's day but I have ridden there before and had no problems, so I really don't think it's their fault at all- these are animals after all! I have ridden and jumped the horse a good few times before on other occasions so they had no reason think she'd buck me. I shouldn't have asked for canter when she was as excitable as she was and should have tried to calm her down more. Sorry if this seems really defensive but I'd hate to talk badly about them when it's such a fabulous place and what happened was, as they say, a series of unfortunate events!
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you defending the RS is really lovely but it’s a little naive to say “ these are animals after all” sorry i don’t mean to sound harsh. Yes they are animals and had you had a really ‘out of nowhere’ fall off a steady RS horse who had put in an out of character spook or tripped then fine , but they are using a horse known to be cold backed that clients have to start off in jumping position on?! This is not just a series of unfortunate events - you are far more likely to come to grief from a young, cold backed horse than a trusted schoolmaster. Honestly, that’s not on and by using this horse they are knowingly putting clients (beginner and novice riders!) at MORE risk than one would normally be taking by riding. What i’m trying to do is hopefully let you realise that you’ve done brilliantly well but that you have no need to be making the risks great by riding such an animal by choice at ANY time as a rider, let alone when learning at a RS :( .
 
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I can absolutely appreciate what you are saying, @CharliesAngel and the next time I go I won't ride her, I will ask for someone else if they offer me her. I am grateful for your advice and if I am to be honest, I agree with you I just hate to see a place I love being talked down- but I do agree with you that it was a bad decision on their part and I shouldn't have been given her to ride. Also, thank you for your praise- I do feel like I'm doing quite well, I think because my RI and I have spent some time going waaaaay back to basics and working on my confidence I am (dare I say it) more confident than before.
 
Kirsty McDonald said:
I can absolutely appreciate what you are saying, @CharliesAngel and the next time I go I won't ride her, I will ask for someone else if they offer me her. I am grateful for your advice and if I am to be honest, I agree with you I just hate to see a place I love being talked down- but I do agree with you that it was a bad decision on their part and I shouldn't have been given her to ride. Also, thank you for your praise- I do feel like I'm doing quite well, I think because my RI and I have spent some time going waaaaay back to basics and working on my confidence I am (dare I say it) more confident than before.
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good for you! You have a super positive attitude to it all, just remember that you still have to risk assess even what an ‘expert’ is telling you and keep yourself safe, gut feelings are usually right I’ve found. Happy riding!
 
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