Well the title, I really didn't mean to upset anyone. I am upset now. What a silly thing is this. I am a really nice person. I don't care if you are fat, thin, mad, disabled, or whatever for all I care. If you don't want me on here just say so.
I really didn't mean
- Thread starter Tina2011
- Start date
OK no comment. I expect everyone is in bed anyhow.
One last comment,
Get off the pork pies and get some exercise!:dance:
One last comment,
Get off the pork pies and get some exercise!:dance:
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Ok it had to be a wind up. And yes I bit, a little. I am off to bed at last. at 2.15am no wonder i don't have any energy. A big sleep and a holiday is what I need. Skinny and undernourished, is what I am plus old and haggard. I would like to sleep for a month, no chance.:smile:
Seems you can't say anything on here without causing offence although I think most took your post for what it was. Tongue in cheek.
See this thread - thought it was tongue in cheek anyway!
http://www.newrider.com/forum/showthread.php?t=231222
I just read the thread as hadn't before and just thought surely you should know by the numerous diet threads on here that there are bound to be a few people sensitive about their weight and appearance?
Doesn't affect me, but maybe just reread your posts before posting to check that they can't be taken the wrong way? There is no intonation on the internet so people do not know how you are saying things, ie. tongue in cheek or serious. I often write posts and then delete them and don't say anything coz someone somewhere might take offense!
Doesn't affect me, but maybe just reread your posts before posting to check that they can't be taken the wrong way? There is no intonation on the internet so people do not know how you are saying things, ie. tongue in cheek or serious. I often write posts and then delete them and don't say anything coz someone somewhere might take offense!
Kis Vihar
Nutty Saddlers !
Well I just posted on it about ME lol..................
sometimes you have to have the ability to laugh at YOURSELF for goodness sake, it was obviously tongue in cheek when its deemed a problem that you can't laugh at yourself you really need to do something as its obviously affecting your life!!
Tina, don't even think of going anywhere !
I am no 'skinny' by any means and could probably do with losing a couple of stone, or MORE, lol, but certainly didn't find any of it offensive !
sometimes you have to have the ability to laugh at YOURSELF for goodness sake, it was obviously tongue in cheek when its deemed a problem that you can't laugh at yourself you really need to do something as its obviously affecting your life!!
Tina, don't even think of going anywhere !
I am no 'skinny' by any means and could probably do with losing a couple of stone, or MORE, lol, but certainly didn't find any of it offensive !
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Having been overweight for much of my life I'm past caring what people think about me, and Tina's post didn't offend me, as I know I don't wear jods with a big bum that's got rolls of fat and cellulite on it and mud on it too :giggle:
You've only got to look at me (see avatar) and see that appearance wise I dress to cover up the spare tyre (have to add that has dramatically reduced since losing two stone) and my bum isn't big at all. So in a word, I don't care!:biggrin:
You've only got to look at me (see avatar) and see that appearance wise I dress to cover up the spare tyre (have to add that has dramatically reduced since losing two stone) and my bum isn't big at all. So in a word, I don't care!:biggrin:
Im overweight too and didnt take offence. It made me laugh and if i had any inkling that what tina said was her actual real thoughts then i would laugh again because often when people put others down its because they have similar issues with themselves.
Hmmm, given that people are more worried about others being touchy, rather than the fact that there are comments that have genuinely hurt people, I think that says enough.
Whether I'd meant something as a joke or not, I'd hate to think that I'd really upset somebody on a subject sensitive to them no matter if the vast majority didn't see it as an issue.
I remember once making a throw away comment on a forum about giving my hubby a slap. It was meant in a jokey way and anyone who knows us would know that. However, I got a PM from someone who was clearly very distressed by my comment and as the victim of domestic abuse she didn't think it was a subject to joke about. I didn't get all upset and offended and turn it into an attack on my freedom of speech. I apologised. I could see that the person had been affected by my comment despite it not being intended in that way. I don't see what the big deal is with understanding that people aren't being touchy for the sake of it or simply to pick a fight. Comments can cut to the core and for people like me, the fight goes and you give up but the pain remains.
There have been numerous diet threads on NR since New Year. Many people who have started healthy eating with the intention of ditching their weight. I haven't seen that many posts where this goes entirely to plan and often people give up. Plus there are others for whom its not just a few lbs, we know we have to do something or we'll be at high risk of reduced quality of life, health issues and early death. That may sound overly dramatic to those who don't understand but its something I've had to live with all my adult life it's hard to wear my failures do publicly and feel so degraded because it's common to hear others making nasty comments in earshot.
Now, I would hope that I might have been able to help people see things from another perspective. Whether the comment was meant in the way it was received or not, what's most telling is the lack of concern for those who really have been hurt. I can accept that I'm touchy about my weight because it's serious and impacts on mine and my families lives. I can also accept that comments aren't always meant as I might take them which is why i made use of my ignore options, left the thread and didn't add to it. What I find most disturbing is a lack of human empathy on this thread and the lack of consideration for the feelings of others. Having really upset someone myself in the past, it was no big deal to me to not get uptight and to smooth the waters.
Whether I'd meant something as a joke or not, I'd hate to think that I'd really upset somebody on a subject sensitive to them no matter if the vast majority didn't see it as an issue.
I remember once making a throw away comment on a forum about giving my hubby a slap. It was meant in a jokey way and anyone who knows us would know that. However, I got a PM from someone who was clearly very distressed by my comment and as the victim of domestic abuse she didn't think it was a subject to joke about. I didn't get all upset and offended and turn it into an attack on my freedom of speech. I apologised. I could see that the person had been affected by my comment despite it not being intended in that way. I don't see what the big deal is with understanding that people aren't being touchy for the sake of it or simply to pick a fight. Comments can cut to the core and for people like me, the fight goes and you give up but the pain remains.
There have been numerous diet threads on NR since New Year. Many people who have started healthy eating with the intention of ditching their weight. I haven't seen that many posts where this goes entirely to plan and often people give up. Plus there are others for whom its not just a few lbs, we know we have to do something or we'll be at high risk of reduced quality of life, health issues and early death. That may sound overly dramatic to those who don't understand but its something I've had to live with all my adult life it's hard to wear my failures do publicly and feel so degraded because it's common to hear others making nasty comments in earshot.
Now, I would hope that I might have been able to help people see things from another perspective. Whether the comment was meant in the way it was received or not, what's most telling is the lack of concern for those who really have been hurt. I can accept that I'm touchy about my weight because it's serious and impacts on mine and my families lives. I can also accept that comments aren't always meant as I might take them which is why i made use of my ignore options, left the thread and didn't add to it. What I find most disturbing is a lack of human empathy on this thread and the lack of consideration for the feelings of others. Having really upset someone myself in the past, it was no big deal to me to not get uptight and to smooth the waters.
If this is the case the forum is going to be a very quiet place.
No one really "knows" many of us on the outside world so you cant really tailor every post just in case someone is overweight, underweight, catholic or gay or a single parent wth one leg.
I think there's got to be a balance. I pride myself on not being overly sensitive, making a fool of myself before anyone else can, but equally I wouldn't want to deliberately cause offence so avoid even joking comments re race, age, weight, intelligence. Its just too difficult to get the tone right on a forum. (although I'm sure I've committed a faux pas at some point, sorry!!)
I don't know Tina, so have to say, I wasn't sure if she was joking or not and just took it as read. I didnt like the comment as I'm overweight and am pretty sensitive about it but not gonna lose any sleep over it as so many folk are fine with making a joke of things like that. It just makes me a little more wary of them in future as they may judge me similarly. Heh ho. It was one comment made that hit a nerve with someone else and they called her on it. It will happen from time to time on a forum as well as in real life.......although I'm now considering NOT posting photos of me wearing the horrible cream jods I've had to buy for the show next month. Sometimes I think I should take up a different sport that doesn't involve such figure hugging clothing!:bounce:
I don't know Tina, so have to say, I wasn't sure if she was joking or not and just took it as read. I didnt like the comment as I'm overweight and am pretty sensitive about it but not gonna lose any sleep over it as so many folk are fine with making a joke of things like that. It just makes me a little more wary of them in future as they may judge me similarly. Heh ho. It was one comment made that hit a nerve with someone else and they called her on it. It will happen from time to time on a forum as well as in real life.......although I'm now considering NOT posting photos of me wearing the horrible cream jods I've had to buy for the show next month. Sometimes I think I should take up a different sport that doesn't involve such figure hugging clothing!:bounce:
I think the truth of the matter is NOBODY should be posting with the purpose of offending or upsetting somebody.
However, being slightly 'older' and with a little experience of life it would seem there are NOT many people out there who do NOT have some sort of issue about themselves. Yes, even the ones we glance at and think they have everything, when you talk to them it would seem they hate their legs, or their backsides or whatever.
How can you tailor every post so that is DOESN't effect somebody somewhere, even though the intention was anything but :smile:
However, being slightly 'older' and with a little experience of life it would seem there are NOT many people out there who do NOT have some sort of issue about themselves. Yes, even the ones we glance at and think they have everything, when you talk to them it would seem they hate their legs, or their backsides or whatever.
How can you tailor every post so that is DOESN't effect somebody somewhere, even though the intention was anything but :smile:
Why oh why cant something more flattering be de riguer?
How about those wingy breeches from days gone by? They would hide a multitude of sins!
Can one ride in a kaftan?
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