I thought I was a boss mare but OH says I am a meany!

[KarinUS]

So back to the 'husband or horse thread':
I hadn't had a chance to see the horse all of last week and the OH was gone on a business trip.
OH returned yesterday which also happened to be the first night I would have had time to ride!
So after knowing he would be disappointed to come home and me not be there I decided to pack the man in the truck and take him to the barn with me....
That way I can see my horse without hurting OH's feelings.

Riding went okay. I let him help with bathing etc.
Then the horse and I walked out in the back pasture where the grass is lush. I walk him that far so that he will stay there and graze.
But when I turn around I see the silly horse is coming back to the barn with me. So without much thinking I turned towards him and shushed him away. I ran just a couple of steps to get him to trot off. He joined the herd and was fine. I figured as a boss mare I can ask him to stay in the back pasture, can't I?

When I got back to the barn, OH says I probably traumatised the horse and now he will never come to me or follow me around in the field again.

Surely that can't be true! But in horse language what do you think my horse understood from this little interaction? Did I confuse him?

How do I tell him when I want him to come along and when he needs to stay with his buddies?

 

[stephydoo]

i think he will be fine.
just told him not to follow you at that time

 

[galadriel]

Originally posted by KarinUS
How do I tell him when I want him to come along and when he needs to stay with his buddies?

Sounds to me like that's exactly what you did.

Having the girls right here, we go out and interact with them in the pasture frequently. Sometimes I'm busy, sometimes I have time to play with them. If I'm going to be doing something that requires my concentration (or my hands, or whatever) I tell them "go eat grass." Sometimes turning deliberately away is enough, sometimes I have to gently turn horse's body away from me (hand on big flat area of jaw, or on shoulder) and then walk away.

If you were quiet and confident with "shushing" him away (not timid, hesistant, wild, loud, drastic, or cruel), then for him, it was probably just another interaction where you directed him in some way A horse doesn't think that you want him to whoa all of the time just because you ask him to whoa once. A horse doesn't think you want him to stay away all of the time just because you shush him once.

 

[kedwards]

Not mean at all. If you watch horses interacting, they shush each other away quite regularly. There are times when you want him to follow you and enter your space and times when you don't. You're allowed to make that distinction without being considered a "meanie."

As for OH, maybe he was afraid you'd use the same method on him Just kidding, I'm actually impressed by how sympathetic he is to DJ. What a sweet guy. I guess he isn't too worried about your choosing the horse over him.

 

[Mehitabel]

at the mmoment, we have to take the mares and foals through petal's field to get totheirs - we have a 'path' of electric fencing so it's safe, but they still come and peer over the fence at the babies, and the mums get anxious. so yeaterday and today petal got told to bugger off one minute and then ten minutes later, called over and asked to come in - on the way back from puting the mares out. it doesn't seem to have traumatised her and i still got whinnied at and cuddled.

 

[KarinUS]

Yeah, DJ doesn't get traumatised either.
I think kedwars hit the nail pretty much on the head though...

I have been accused of using my animal training tricks with horses, dogs, boyfriends and employees alike. Of course I won't admit to it but honestly I think I learned a lot of useful things in years of dog obedience...

Seriously though I think when people (including OH) hear me go on about how fabulous DJ is they expect it to be just daisies and roses all the time. But truth is when we work on something it can be just that: work. And in the end I am the one in charge.

 

[nat17]

If you think about what they do to each other to tell each other to bugger off then a quick wushing and arms flapping is nothing, I have to do it regular!