About 20 years after buying my first horse. :cry:
The good bits about horse ownership are brilliant. The best. Connecting with a beautiful animal. Developing a relationship. Learning together. The satisfaction of achieving something new. The thrill of competing or riding cross country and show jumping. The sheer joy of a gallop along a beach or a meander along a river bank. The comfort of a solid but soft shoulder to cry into. The innocent silliness of scritchy spots, and funny faces, and excited farty bucking sprees round the field.
BUT
I can't ignore the downsides, and they are - finally - outweighing the good: In no particular order:
* The time
My OH has no interest in horses at all. In fact he is allergic to them. My sister in law in so severely allergic that she can't visit us. My son has zero interest. I have done EVERYTHING to maintain the girls' interest but they can take them or leave them. So although the girls come up with me to ride and fuss Tara about twice a week, the vast majority of my horsey time is for me alone, none of it is shared with them. As the yard is 10-15 minutes away, and the field a long walk from the car park and stable block a visit to the yard is 90 minutes minimum. Every day. Often twice. That's without riding! If I want to hack out, take Thyme to a show etc then it's the whole day gone. And i have 2 to do every day.
* The stress
I worry about the horses endlessly. When the weather is bad it's all I talk about at home- are they warm enough should I bring them in etc etc. I know it's silly, and I try not to, but in all the years of having horses I have never got over it. It is worse than ever with Thyme because she drops weight quite easily. When I am stressed about the horses, I am fine at the yard and miserable everywhere else! And that's when they are healthy! .... I've been known to get up at 4am to check on them. The last few winters have been a nightmare but at least I have spring and summer to recover...... but anyone looked out of a window recently???
*The cost
We are basically a bit skint! ALL my money goes on the horses. I am self employed and I should work harder, but that means even more time away from the family. Most of the family's disposable income goes on MY hobby. Last year we couldn't afford a holiday with the children. That's just not fair.
* The danger.
This doesn't worry me - I have never been afraid of horses. But it really REALLY bothers OH. He has seen me break ribs coming off X-C when the horse hit the fence and somersaulted. He got a phone call from a strange man in January saying 'your wife has had an accident... come as quick as you can|" when I got kicked in the head. The kids saw that and it scared them. Then recently Thyme went out of the jockey door on the trailer in a panic- right where the kids were standing. He saw that too. I can't ignore that riding is a percentages game - particularly the things I do: bringing on a youngster, jumping. And I'm a mother. It'snot just me who depends on my neck!
*Relationships
The impact on my relationship with OH: We never see each other. We go days at a time meeting at bedtime! And it's affecting the kids too: It's always him that watches the kids swimming lessons or takes them to footie or athletics events. On Sunday we went TOGETHER to watch the children do the Derby Triathlon. And that was only because it was Fathers Day! But it was lovely and it brought home to me how rare a family day out is.
* Domestic Front
With no time for anything else but work & horses, the household is in chaos. And I don't just mean I don't hoover very often. I mean the kids sometimes don;t have clean uniform, I run out of bread for their lunch-box, I forget to sign and return permission slips for school trips.....
So all in all, my and OH had a crisis summit yesterday. To give him credit he has NEVER said anything about me selling the horses. He knows how much they mean to me. I've been horse mad since we first met! But we talked very openly and honestly and I have come to the conclusion that its the end of the road for me and the horses. I will use the money I save to have lessons, hopefully I can ride other people's horses for them sometimes. I'll gallop along Studland Beach and go on horsey holidays. But the day-in-day-out year after year stuff has to stop.....
So what next?
I am LOVING bringing Thyme on, so I am in no hurry to sell, but she will be going up for sale locally. My ideal outcome would be for someone to buy her who lives nearby so I can stay in touch, or for her to go to someone on NR so I can stay in virtual touch. I am in no hurry, and will wait for the perfect home for my lovely girl....
Tara is on loan for a year but her owner has said she can go back anytime. The girls like grooming and hacking about twice a week so we will keep doing that for now. As I said, I am in no hurry ......
Wine and luxury chocs for anyone who read this VERY LONG post.
The good bits about horse ownership are brilliant. The best. Connecting with a beautiful animal. Developing a relationship. Learning together. The satisfaction of achieving something new. The thrill of competing or riding cross country and show jumping. The sheer joy of a gallop along a beach or a meander along a river bank. The comfort of a solid but soft shoulder to cry into. The innocent silliness of scritchy spots, and funny faces, and excited farty bucking sprees round the field.
BUT
I can't ignore the downsides, and they are - finally - outweighing the good: In no particular order:
* The time
My OH has no interest in horses at all. In fact he is allergic to them. My sister in law in so severely allergic that she can't visit us. My son has zero interest. I have done EVERYTHING to maintain the girls' interest but they can take them or leave them. So although the girls come up with me to ride and fuss Tara about twice a week, the vast majority of my horsey time is for me alone, none of it is shared with them. As the yard is 10-15 minutes away, and the field a long walk from the car park and stable block a visit to the yard is 90 minutes minimum. Every day. Often twice. That's without riding! If I want to hack out, take Thyme to a show etc then it's the whole day gone. And i have 2 to do every day.
* The stress
I worry about the horses endlessly. When the weather is bad it's all I talk about at home- are they warm enough should I bring them in etc etc. I know it's silly, and I try not to, but in all the years of having horses I have never got over it. It is worse than ever with Thyme because she drops weight quite easily. When I am stressed about the horses, I am fine at the yard and miserable everywhere else! And that's when they are healthy! .... I've been known to get up at 4am to check on them. The last few winters have been a nightmare but at least I have spring and summer to recover...... but anyone looked out of a window recently???
*The cost
We are basically a bit skint! ALL my money goes on the horses. I am self employed and I should work harder, but that means even more time away from the family. Most of the family's disposable income goes on MY hobby. Last year we couldn't afford a holiday with the children. That's just not fair.
* The danger.
This doesn't worry me - I have never been afraid of horses. But it really REALLY bothers OH. He has seen me break ribs coming off X-C when the horse hit the fence and somersaulted. He got a phone call from a strange man in January saying 'your wife has had an accident... come as quick as you can|" when I got kicked in the head. The kids saw that and it scared them. Then recently Thyme went out of the jockey door on the trailer in a panic- right where the kids were standing. He saw that too. I can't ignore that riding is a percentages game - particularly the things I do: bringing on a youngster, jumping. And I'm a mother. It'snot just me who depends on my neck!
*Relationships
The impact on my relationship with OH: We never see each other. We go days at a time meeting at bedtime! And it's affecting the kids too: It's always him that watches the kids swimming lessons or takes them to footie or athletics events. On Sunday we went TOGETHER to watch the children do the Derby Triathlon. And that was only because it was Fathers Day! But it was lovely and it brought home to me how rare a family day out is.
* Domestic Front
With no time for anything else but work & horses, the household is in chaos. And I don't just mean I don't hoover very often. I mean the kids sometimes don;t have clean uniform, I run out of bread for their lunch-box, I forget to sign and return permission slips for school trips.....
So all in all, my and OH had a crisis summit yesterday. To give him credit he has NEVER said anything about me selling the horses. He knows how much they mean to me. I've been horse mad since we first met! But we talked very openly and honestly and I have come to the conclusion that its the end of the road for me and the horses. I will use the money I save to have lessons, hopefully I can ride other people's horses for them sometimes. I'll gallop along Studland Beach and go on horsey holidays. But the day-in-day-out year after year stuff has to stop.....
So what next?
I am LOVING bringing Thyme on, so I am in no hurry to sell, but she will be going up for sale locally. My ideal outcome would be for someone to buy her who lives nearby so I can stay in touch, or for her to go to someone on NR so I can stay in virtual touch. I am in no hurry, and will wait for the perfect home for my lovely girl....
Tara is on loan for a year but her owner has said she can go back anytime. The girls like grooming and hacking about twice a week so we will keep doing that for now. As I said, I am in no hurry ......
Wine and luxury chocs for anyone who read this VERY LONG post.
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