I'm so angry with myself!

Talou

Solo Mio..
Dec 28, 2003
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Cairo, Egypt!
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I had a TERRIBLE lesson yesterday!
I did everything wrong!
I couldn't even get Cahramana to canter for some reason..my trainer said its because i wasn't concentrating...but i was..or i thought i was....
He made us ( me and another boy that was riding) do an exercise where we canter (left lead) and turn to go to a set of poles then go over a small (then later bigger) jump.
Every time i try to get her to canter she goes on the wrong lead...then when she did it and i finally come to the turn leading to the jump i can't even turn properly! I kept not looking where i was going and ended up passing the exercise...of course my coach was not happy and i was not happy at all! Then once i made the turn correctly (when there was no jump i just had to canter over the poles) and passed the poles, i lost my balance competely and fell on her neck,i couldn't even get my balance back! Everytime i pushed myself up i just fell back down on her neck again! I felt so STUPID! I can only imagine what all the people who were watching me were thinking! :'( And that wasn't the only time i almost fell..the next time was when i was going to the poles then the jump and Cahramana avoided the poles, i lost my balance and my stirrups..and she was still cantering!! UGH! I'm so angry with myself!!!
I did the same mistakes throughout the lesson...and Cahramana became so nervous that she couldn't even stand still....when my coach talked to me i had to keep walking her in circles..if i tried to make her stop she just pulled the reins! My coach also told me that he thought i was ready to start jumping...i guess i'm not. :(
Mostly my problem was the turning part...i have no idea why i couldn't do it!
I felt like such an Idiot!
At the end of what felt like a *very* long lesson i couldn't even look at my coach...i was so ashamed of myself! :(
When i got off, i went and told him i was sorry and he told me it was ok and that i was just under pressure...which made me feel tiny bit better :)
This is the worst lesson i have ever had and it is the first time i do all those mistakes! Things that i'm supposed to do easily and i can do all went wrong!
Later,i went and told the boy i was riding with i was sorry for making all those mistakes and wasting so much time during the lesson. He was so nice,he told me that it happens to everyone and it was ok.:)
Then i went and told Cahramana i was sorry and gave her some corrots.:)
I guess there is some good news...its all arranged...im going to lease Cahramana!:)
Sorry for the rant everyone...thanks for listening.:)
 
Don't worry, like the boy said everyone has bad days when things don't go right! I had one last week on my horse where I felt I had been totally useless and not helped him at all! And I was no where near a jump poor lad!

Try to forget about it and start afresh with a new lesson. Now that you can have the horse on lease, at least you will be able to practice more and build your confidence. :)

Oh and do not worry in the slightest what other people on the yard might think! They are not there to judge you, and your instructor is there to help you - he will be able to tell you where things went wrong and how to correct them for future lessons.
 
I know how you feel - I'm terrible at turns. And jumping, but thats a personal problem that only I can sort ;).

Like the boy said, we all have off days, days when we feel bad, days when we can't do anything right.

How about looking at the positve? You've come out of it, not having fallen off (right?), and a possible lease horse! Excellent!
 
poor old you, pressure can do it to you!! like in my work experience last summer, there i was with all these fantastic show ponies striding around, and on my first ride completely lost all riding ability . . . developed every fault i'd ever had a some things i have never done before or since . . . after that first ride i went back to usual . . .:eek: i assure you i sympathise, and i'm sure next ride will be back to normal!

good luck with Cahramana!:D
 
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