In serious need of help and support!!


New Member
Mar 21, 2006
Ok so here goes... It will be the hardest decision I have ever made but I am seriously considering selling Carrie.

I will try and keep it brief but basically she is too much for me. She has come on fantstically in the last year and it is great that I can actually get on and ride her without her throwing a paddy every time.

She had a major spak out on the lunge today and galloped full pelt off and bucked, reared whatever she could. If I pulled her she would have fallen over. Thankfully someone managed to stop her! Whenever I ride I feel like I am on egg shells and waiting for the explosion to come. She naps and lacks confidence. This has improved significantly but I honestly think she would be so much better in more experienced hands.

I keep saying this time next year she will be perfect but what happens if I have an accident now and seriously hurt myself?
I could buy a safe and sane horse NOW and start having fun and not worrying about it being an idiot.

How do you make the decision? It just breaks my heart I love her so much and want the best for her and am struggling to admit defeat!



Active Member
Dec 30, 2006
I really feel for you and admire the fact that you realise that you might not be what she needs.

Have you had lessons with her? What do others think about your chances of being about to bring her into line with what you want and need?

You probably have the perfect horse there but only perfect for somebody else and that's through no fault of either of you so defeat doesn't come into it. ;)

You know what you want and need and if she can't be it or you can't get her to that stage then it is time to take the pressure off you both.

Good luck with whatever you decide :)


Tripp and Olly
Dec 31, 2005
Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
it's not defeat at all my dear.

Coming to this realization before either of you get seriously injured is so important. Both of you will end up much happier in the long run with the RIGHT match.

My heart goes out to you - it's so hard to think with your head and not your heart some days!


New Member
Jan 10, 2007
I know it's a hard decision to take... but there's one thing I believe, if a horse or pony gives you a gut feeling that it's too much for you to cope with... making you feel constantly scared or terrified... it's time to get a different one.
Obviously it probably makes you feel bad for sending her on her marry marry way... but animals are just like people... sometimes we click and sometimes we don't ... maybe your horse needs a different personality to tend to her, and she more than likely be just fine!
I own 2 ponies and I'm new at all this, but one thing I know for sure is, I don't want to be fighting with an animal that doesn't connect with me... mine may not be perfect... but I know they want to be with me and want to please me. You should find a pony/horse that does this for you too... horse ownership should be a pleasure not a torture (specially when she acts violent.. it's not worth getting hurt! )
So, if you considered you've given each other a reasonable adapting time and things don't work, well it's time to call it quits! :)
And don't feel bad either!! I'm sure she'll find a good home! :)


New Member
Aug 5, 2001
North East England
Visit site
A few questions? :)

How long have you had her?

Is it you who has done the work that has helped her to improve this far?

Is it that you know in your heart that you are a bit scared of her and don't enjoy riding her?

One thing I'd say at this point is that there is no such thing as the perfect horse. It seems that there is the very odd one out there that is 'barely conscious', but 99% will spook sometimes, the type of spook and reasons for it can make a difference to us though. My mare was decribed as virtually bombproof when I bought her 3 years ago. I don't think for a moment that she was misdescribed because she can indeed be very laid back when things are familiar (routes, company etc), but that just lulls a person into the proverbial false sense of security for those out of the blue huge spooks :eek: I'm afraid I have eaten a fair bit of dust, but she doesn't mean it, she's a lovely girl. I guess what I'm saying is, maybe you should sell (I have done in the past when I knew it was wrong), but however hard you try, you may not end up with the illusive bombproof creature.


New Member
Mar 21, 2006
The thing is we have clicked. She responds extremely well to me and when I first got her I was the only person she wouldn't try and "dump". When my instructor got on she just reared up. She has since had a new instructor on and she looked beautiful. So I know she can work nicely!

I have had her a year and yes I have done it all myself and I am proud of that but maybe now she would benefit from someone who knows how to keep her occupied. She will be brilliant but then seems to go into a blind panic and you just have no chance whatsoever. It is so hard because I could just wait and see but I rode my friends safe horse recently and I was automatically expecting him to behave like Carrie does. We have good days and bad days. The bad days can stem from being nappy and not listeneing to going into a full blown paddy, rearing and bucking and basicall going crazy. She just loses her head.

I wouldn't say I was scared of her because in a strange way I trust her. She would never ever do anything to purposely hurt me!

We have lessons regularly and do spend alot of time getting her attention and working through her naps. There is a very thin line with her. You can push her so far but if she really doesn't want to do something she will just go into one.

No one seems to want to make the decision for me ;) I am rubbish at making decisions. I just don't want to regret it for the rest of my life!


Beckyand Monty
Feb 20, 2007
South Glos
Why dont you look in to loaning her to a experienced home? Might find just what she is in need of and you can still over see it and make decisions about her, are lots of good loan homes out there!


New Member
Jan 31, 2006
spruce grove, alberta
well i love my mare and it took me almost a year to finally find out by hurting myself that she was wrong but even then i had real hard time and well tomorrow i will be getting a check from her new owners and she is going to live her life wonderfully as a trail/hack horse (well hopefully i get the check any thing in the horse world is possible). i believe that if someone experienced rode her all this year took her to competitions ect. she would be an awesome horse for me but i unfortunalty couldn't do that and for some odd reason i didn't feel like using people for a year lease until she is all schooled and then just take her back like some one did to me.
but its a hard decision for any one to make and i really do know what its like but just remember you own the horse so you can decide when the right home is found.good luck on your decision


New Member
Jul 8, 2006
I know how you feel its horrible to have a horse and not be able to enjoy the time you have together.You want someone to give you the right answer but only you know in your heart what that .


New Member
Sep 9, 2006
I agree with blushing_bex.
If it is an option, loan her out to someone used to horses like Carrie, for say, a year, then see how she is then.
Some people like to take on temporary 'projects' on for a while, so this may be an ideal solution. After a while you might be able to make your decision with better judgement :)
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
R I need serious emotional help. Older Riders 13
OwnedbyChanter Going to need some serious NR help soon I finally got some good news Cafe 48
J Moved yard :) But need serious help (N) Cafe 4
Nimbus65 I need a serious talking to Cafe 14
Cortrasna Im back and need serious kick up the posterior! Cafe 22
MrsCarter The vet has been to Elouise!!! very very happy but need some serious advice :D Horse Care 14
Emerald_city Ok I need serious ideas now ... Training of the Horse and Rider 32
Tasel I need serious cheering up... General 10
fairlady Ok, I Need Some Serious Advice Here General 65
chev Monty and Grace need serious good vibes General 108
Huggy Hogan now on serious diet! Horse Care 80
N In Minutes, Your Not Serious Training of the Horse and Rider 19
Billy Confession (a bit serious please help) Cafe 20
B Serious accident whilst out hacking... Hacking 10
T Near Miss and Serious Wobbles.... Cafe 12
D WARNING to all horse owners - serious threat to ALL horses in the UK :( Cafe 5
Roxy's Mum I am SO angry and frustrated *warning: serious vent* Cafe 15
fairlady ARE YOU SERIOUS? hands-up who has done this.. Cafe 30
diplomaticandtactful This is Now Getting Serious - Wally Help Please Training of the Horse and Rider 37
ladywiththebaby Can a serious competition pony become a hack? Cafe 4
denisextilly **serious addiction ** Cafe 16
Lemme Serious work getting ready to ride....... Cafe 1
T Serious Advice Needed Training of the Horse and Rider 9
Maggiemooo Is life just getting too serious?? Cafe 13
xJenniferx Oops, the rather serious issue of my horses weight Metabolic 11
annareeves0 Serious message but made me chuckle Cafe 2
OwnedbyChanter serious discussion number 3 Training of the Horse and Rider 14
fairlady Serious Discussion 2....Backing a Youngster Training of the Horse and Rider 9
fairlady Lets have a more 'serious' discussion. Training of the Horse and Rider 31
Snowyboy Is this serious? Hoof Care 12
sharons star Serious Help Needed Training of the Horse and Rider 10
horsy Spillers? Are you SERIOUS? Metabolic 17
S Dry cough during trotting- is it serious? Veterinary,Injuries and Therapies 1
M Help! Serious thread from me for once 'vids' Veterinary,Injuries and Therapies 36
J Like this horse too but he has sarcoids - how serious are they? Veterinary,Injuries and Therapies 10
rach4uk4 serious dilema, can NH help?? Training of the Horse and Rider 64
tasha Help! BOAT near me needs some serious work Hacking 14
beanz's mum Is anyone on here a serious rider...? General 71
Shannon_Clover Foal Injuries - Warning! Serious skin injury pics General 22
Wally Something SERIOUS to bear in mind General 137
Laura2184 Serious help needed..again.. Training of the Horse and Rider 20
D Serious advice being sought Training of the Horse and Rider 41
Rarah Are protein bumps serious? Horse Care 1
T Help please - serious bolting problem General 32
L Anyone else having serious hay buying problems? General 26
X Help ! Im Outta The Saddle Till August Due 2 Serious Injury !! Sos General 2
Wally In serious training! Using weights! Other Disciplines 4
Nayds Are you serious???? *video General 5
Stella2 BBC News: Riders 20 times more likely to sustain serious injury than motor cyclists! General 31
crazyhorse97 Cribbing~~How serious?? General 10

Similar threads