Is an Ebb & Flow of Confidence normal?

D

Debutante

Member
Oct 18, 2001
178
0
16
Canada
Visit site
It amazes me how learning to ride can be such an up and down emotional roller-coaster. Just before Christmas I was feeling on top of the world, like I was making great progress. Now, every lesson seems worse than the last – I’m nervous, not mentally focussed, physically exhausted and out-of-breath, totally uncoordinated, full of excuses, and a general clueless mess. I’m constantly forgetting all the details that used to be second nature. Now, (for the first time in my life) I’m even beginning to question whether I have future on horseback. :eek: The thing is, it’s not like I had a particular ‘scary incident’ that triggered this loss of confidence and ability – it just happened. I’m hoping I’ll pull myself together and come out of it soon. I’ve been horse-shopping for the past several months but at the moment I feel like I shouldn’t even be allowed on the pony rides at the zoo! ;) Has anyone else been through this foolishness? What’s wrong with me? Do I just need a good slap? :D

Cheers,
Debutante
 
I'm right there with you. Im feeling down right DUMB now. :rolleyes:

If you check out my recent threads, you'll see what Im talking about!!

Good luck on that horse shopping business..... :D
 
I hear ya

Hi Tootsie!
Sorry to hear you're going through a bit of a rough spell too with "Mr. Attitude". ;) Maybe it's the weather. At first I thought maybe I'd just gotten lazy over Christmas and was finding it hard to get back to work, but now I'm not so sure.
I've been following your ups and downs (especially your Desperate Times thread) but have not had enough experience to interject anything of value. :rolleyes:
As for my horse-shopping, I'm anxiously awaiting a response from a farm in the Ottawa Valley about purchasing a Canadien but have not been able to connect with them yet. One day soon -- hopefully once I'm feeling back up to the challenge. When I become some lovely Canadien's "Mom", I need to be really and truly ready for it. :p

Good luck with your beautiful Morgan! I'm hoping he'll settle down and mind his manners once he puts on a few more years. In the meantime, be careful.
;)

Cheers,
Debutante
 
Maybe this will help:

I surely don't know the ins and outs of training a horse, and Im absolutely NO expert, but even when I get down and out and wonder WHY ON EARTH did I buy an unbroke young'un who was gelded late as my first horse, I focus on what really drives me...

The fact that I did it (well, "doing it" in my case)! As he learns, I learn. Even mistakes teach you alot. We are growing together and in the long run, we will be completely inseperable just based on what we've been through. So, take that to heart when you look to buy your Canadien - or even with your lessons.

Times may be tough for both of us in our own way, but after we make it through, and we will, in time, the hard times will only make us better ;) Riding seems to be a passion of yours - and persistance will pay off!!
 
Debutante

I applaud your ability to describe what used to be my constant state (and the apparent lack of reason for it) so well!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no idea whether we're normal or not - BUT. My confidence is being restored bit by bit so I hope your confidence returns very soon.
 
Thanks!!!

It makes me feel better to know that other people have gone through this too.... (Misery likes company, and all that). :p

It sure is strange, since I'm usually quite an enthusiastic type -- ESPECIALLY about my horses.
Maybe it's some sort of crazy hormonal blip (I think they call it mare-ish behaviour). :D

Cheers,
Deb
 
Deb.,

Been there, done it, got the 'T' shirt. You are quite normal. BUT I would suggest to get out of your 'spiral of increasing unease' you need to do something different. It may be that you need to alter things a little to get out of your pattern. Read a good sports psycology book. Change the format of your lessons or your Instructor. Having one lesson per week if that is what you do is often not the best way to learn. Try having a lesson two or three days running then have a break. We all learn in different ways...you just have to find the conditions most condusive to your learning.
 
Good advice Janet. Breaking the cycle and doing something completely different can do wonders. When you return to the thing you're struggling with its usually better than before because you've tackled the problem from an unexpected angle.

Having participated in several sports I think riding has to be the ultimate for emotional rollercoasters. There are so many components - I never pulled my bike off its rack to find that it had been hooning around in the garage overnight and had dented its wheels or that it had 'forgotten' how to change into fourth gear overnight. If I had a tired day I may not go as fast or lift as much but I never found that my feet suddenly flew out from under me in an ungainly and uncontrollable manner or that my balance was so totally out that I tipped over every time I ran down a hill....and yet with riding.... :rolleyes: :(
 
Virtuallyhorses

I think your reply is really good - but I would also refer to your quote which I think is brilliant - and suggest that sometimes the "ideology" of the quote (and I mean this in a very genuine way, I'm not being cynical) gets a bit muddled sometimes because like you so rightly point out our non-equine side of life just sometimes gets in the way - and renders us "a bit useless sometimes"!!!!!!!!!
 
I don't think that one ever experiences the ultimate in supreme confidence, to me that is the secret of why horses are so enjoyable. You win some, you lose some. One day everything is right, next day forget it.So back again, today you'll win some....
Just think of the experience you are notching up.
Good luck with the horse shopping. Once you get your own nag your whole life changes. It's wonderful. L
 
This thread has meant something to me too. It's not so much because of the horse (he is always a problem- I am learning to live with it), but myself. I feel so maladjusted, clumsy, useless, CRAP rider... I feel I stagnated, my progress is non-existent or just too slow. I feel guilty because I am not the ideal horse owner and I wanted to give my horse the best.
So, Debutante, we all have these up and down's moments. Riding is serious because it involves you emotionally so much, that it can also become emotionally draining. The key? to find the right balance and to devise strategies to cope with the "downs". That's why forums like NR can be truely helpful. At least, not just you get plenty of sound advice, but you also feel a support net around you.
 
Oh, I'm SO happy to hear that others feel this way.

I've been feeling less confident lately, too, which is heartbreaking, really, considering how important it is to me to be a good rider.

I've recently upped my lessons to two private sessions per week in an effort to become more consistent...hopefully there'll be less of this on and off again business.

I've noticed that each time I make a mistake, I begin thinking, "I'm just too old to begin this" or "I just don't have the natural skill or talent for it" or even "My legs WON'T do that".

Then I begin thinking, "No...with enough practice and effort anyone can do this."

This, in turn, leads me to overthink things and become more tense which leads to another mistake. Soon after the mistake I begin thinking, "I'm just too old to begin this..."

I think the reason all of the pubescent, slim-hipped girls at my barn progress so rapidly is because they DON'T THINK. I wish I could be more like that. I'll have to think about it...
 
Debutante, I think what you're feeling - as others have noted - is so normal that were you NOT to experience it, there'd be something terribly wrong or something miraculously wonderful happening.

Two steps forward, one step back. One step forward, three steps back. Three steps forward, one step back. Ultimately, it's the overall differential that counts.
 
I've had a problem with lost confidence also. Especially after I had a bad fall. You need to take a few deep breaths and learn to trust your horse. You may feel like you are going backwards in training, but don't worry. It takes time, of course, but soon you will be back to the rider you were.
 
Normal? Gosh, I hope so - happens to me all the time!:p Sure is aggravating, though, isn't it?

You might find your confidence level gets more consistent once you have your own horse. Although I'm nowhere near as brave as I'd like, I think being Quanah's "mother" has helped me a little bit!:)

How's it going with finding your Canadien?
 
Last edited:
Hi Peace,
Thank you (and all the others who responded) for your words of encouragement and support. I'm feeling much more positive about the whole 'horse thing' again. Don't know what to attribute my 'ups and downs' to -- maybe the 5 feet of bl***y snow outside my window?!!! :mad: ;)

Anyway, I made a huge step toward getting my Canadian by finding a great new boarding facility about 5 minutes from my home! I'm SOOO excited about it because it seems just about perfect in every way (except it's more $$$ than I had hoped, of course).;)

I'm still waiting to hear back from one of my favourite Canadian breeders that I contacted a while ago. At the time I contacted her she didn't have any suitable horses anyways. Then, we were both so busy around Christmas we just put it on the back burner temporarily. Maybe this Spring something fabulous will happen. :)

Cheers,

Debutante
 
nmwunduke


I think the reason all of the pubescent, slim-hipped girls at my barn progress so rapidly is because they DON'T THINK. I wish I could be more like that. I'll have to think about it...
Click to expand...

If you take a look at my current thread - "is it time to give this all up" - my instructor says that this is half my problem - I think to much!!!!!!!!
 
Lizzie,

when instructors cannot handle grown up, sensible women, they always come up with the statement that our trouble is "that we think too much".
We may be worlds/countries apart, but the attitude is similar.
We are not the problem, it is not us who need to re-address ourselves, but those instructors who ought to pull their act together.
 
And Chapsi

How about the phrase "you are FAR too analytical" - in the past I've been told that SO often in relation to me as an adult riding "pupil" (in the PAST I have to emphasize) but strangely as a professional at work it's one of the things people most value about me!!!!!!!!
 
Thinking too much

Living near the coast, I spend a lot of time on the water. As you might imagine, boat captains are a pretty confident group, yet the best ones I know are also the biggest worrywarts. An almost inaudible knock will send them scurrying like ferrets belowdecks to see what's the matter. It's the folks who *don't* think too much that keep the Coast Guard busy!

I think the same holds true for horsepeople. When I hear someone complain about too much thinking, they are added to my mental list of accidents waiting to happen.
 
newrider.com
Top Bottom
Back