Jealousy

Star_the_cob

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Sep 16, 2019
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It makes me kinda jealous when I ride with my friend who started riding after me but is a natural rider according to my instructor and she is better than me at riding. She rides a troublesome horse that nearly bucked me off where as I ride on the schoolmaster. Everyone else admires her and she always tells me how great her riding is while I sit there happy for her but still feeling a bit miserable. Any constructive advice on how to make myself feel a bit better would be appreciated
 

Trewsers

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Oct 13, 2004
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Just try and enjoy your own ride and not focus too much on hers. There will always be someone in life better at riding / better looking / cooking / etc etc. Think about why you ride and how far you've progressed. Be happy - and be thankful that you get to ride. I don't know how old you are? I'm guessing nowhere near as old as me lol
But I'd have given anything to get to ride before I hit thirty. It didn't happen much - and when it did, I just savoured the rides. Try and enjoy :)
 

OwnedbyChanter

With out my boys life would be bland
Apr 16, 2009
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What does it matter if she rides better then you, there will always be that person. When I go out competing I use to get really anxious in the warm up with all the beautiful warmbloods or posh great moving horses. Now I don't care we go out and have fun together. I see it that I am the lucky one I have a lovely horse that I adore and I enjoy riding him. So what is the point being jealous of others.
 

Skib

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Dec 21, 2003
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I dont think it helpful for an instructor to praise one person or to say they are a natural rider.
Although someone with good balance and a sense for the movement of the horse may find the initial lessons very easy, there are other aspects to riding and working with horses: there is problem solving and teaching horses to do as you want.

There is a lot to learn. and it is going to take several years. I was admiring a teenage rider one day riding a perfect dressage test better than I could and the RI told me she had been the last in her class to learn to canter. It took her 5 or 6 years. But now she was one of the best riders.
 

Jane&Ziggy

Learning together!
Apr 30, 2010
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Just focus on your own riding and compare yourself with yourself. If you're learning more, improving as a rider and enjoying it, that's all that matters.

My husband is physically talented, a natural sportsman, and when we rode together (briefly) his seat was better than mine and his balance was better than mine and he was much braver, though he hadn't ridden much at all and would never have a lesson. I got really annoyed by what a good natural rider he was, and how hard I had to work to ride not as well as him. But he asked really stupid questions (like he: "why are the reins so long? They are a real nuisance. They could be much shorter." Me. "What happens if Mattie (the horse) puts his head down?" He: "Ummmmmmmm...") and did silly things, like letting Mattie gallop on a loose rein and then wondering why he fell off when a dog jumped out and Mattie did a huge sideways spook!
 

Huggy

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Nov 11, 2018
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Position, seat, hands etc are important, but they're not everything. I've known people over the years who LOOK wonderful, but they and their horses don't seem any happier than me and mine, slobbing about in their shade! I'm certainly not the best, but my horse seems comfortable with the way I ride. Anyway - who in their right minds wants to ride the troublesome one! Just enjoy your own moments for what they are. :)
 

Trewsers

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Oct 13, 2004
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Position, seat, hands etc are important, but they're not everything. I've known people over the years who LOOK wonderful, but they and their horses don't seem any happier than me and mine, slobbing about in their shade! I'm certainly not the best, but my horse seems comfortable with the way I ride. Anyway - who in their right minds wants to ride the troublesome one! Just enjoy your own moments for what they are. :)
That is so true - who wants the hard work ones anyway lol I love my ginger giant, he's so good (mostly). I'm done with handfuls :p
 
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Cortrasna

Grumpy old nag
Aug 5, 2009
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Don't take a damn bit of notice - I do hate people who are so judgmental about other peoples riding level or skills. I have never been what I would term a polished or educated rider - just a jobbing happy hacker who has done a few other disciplines over the years with very little formal instruction.

I have known many very accomplished riders who have achieved far more than I have ever done over the years, lots more frillies and shiny pots than I could ever have hoped to bring home. However after over 60 years riding, I am still having a wonderful time enjoying riding my beautiful horses while many of them cant even sit on a fence these days so it all works out even in the end! Just enjoy ;)
 
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Huggy

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Nov 11, 2018
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Don't take a damn bit of notice - I do hate people who are so judgmental about other peoples riding level or skills. I have never been what I would term a polished or educated rider - just a jobbing happy hacker who has done a few other disciplines over the years with very little formal instruction.

I have known many very accomplished riders who have achieved far more than I have ever done over the years, lots more frillies and shiny pots than I could ever have hoped to bring home. However after over 60 years riding, I am still having a wonderful time enjoying riding my beautiful horses while many of them cant even sit on a fence these days so it all works out even in the end! Just enjoy ;)
Couldn't have put it better myself! Spot on.
 
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Lexi 123

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Sep 9, 2019
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I hate people who are so judgmental about other people riding. I would just pretend you didn’t here her. Her riding could not be that good if the horse is trying to buck her off . I have always been told that if a horse keeps bucking than it something to do with the rider riding or the horse is in pain .
 
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