Jumping confidence

[EquiiLife]

My friend and I are in the same lesson together, and I love it and the instructors dead nice but
Every two weeks we jump, and my instructor pushes me way to much, I used to love jumping now I hate it and get so scared when jumping the tiniest cross
I want to move lesson, but I can't leave my friend as she's moving to France in July, and believe me she wouldn't understand me moving, I know best friends should understand but she'd be offended
I'm thinking of sticking until July then I can change but I don't know if I can keep loosing my confidence until then
Help!

 

[Skib]

You have posted this in a section for older riders, but your post reads as if you are too young to be able to talk things through with your friend. There is no reason a friend would be offended by another rider wanting to stay within their confidence level and adjust their riding to their own capabilities. Riding is a highly dangerous sport and jumping adds to the risk, so no one should do it unless they really want to.

 

[EquiiLife]

You have posted this in a section for older riders, but your post reads as if you are too young to be able to talk things through with your friend. There is no reason a friend would be offended by another rider wanting to stay within their confidence level and adjust their riding to their own capabilities. Riding is a highly dangerous sport and jumping adds to the risk, so no one should do it unless they really want to.

Sorry I was confused, I was posting on The confidence stages and I thought it had little sections and I wasn't a new rider sorry

 

[Flipo's Mum]

Don't worry about where you posted this, the majority of us hit the new posts button and pay little attention to the section!
I do think you'd be best talking to your friend though and maybe see if you could make it so that she jumps during the lesson and you film her or something, be there for encouragement, so yes you'd be missing a lesson every two weeks but if you're not happy jumping then you should be very careful to protect your confidence. Maybe by saying it to your friend in such a way as to help her see you still want to spend time with her, she'll not focus on the negative so much.

 

[Kite_Rider]

Completely agree with Flipo's Mum. Talk to your friend and explain how frightened you are and tell her that you will still go with her but just don't want to ride in that class or something.
And no it really doesn't matter where you posted, so don't worry about that.
Welcome to the forum by the way.

 

[Em 1]

Could you also have a chat with your instructor and explain the situation and how scared you are feeling? Maybe they could get you doing some pole work or smaller cross poles at least until your friend leaves and you can move to a lesson you feel suits you a bit better? Good luck

 

[tikkitti]

Just changed my ri due to a recent confidence wobble which I truly believe was made worse by my old ri who's a lovely bloke expecting too much from me and me feeling I was letting him down. What I'm trying to say is the pressure your feeling won't help your confidence at all. With my old ai's blessing I changed ri and instantly felt like the pressure was off and I could work through things at my own speed, a few weeks on I know I made the right choice, and now look forward to my lessons x

 

[Leslef]

I returned to riding a year ago, having not ridden for over 25 years. One of the reasons I gave up all those years ago was because my instructor was a bully and made me feel incompetent.
I love it so much I wish I'd returned to it sooner and it makes me a bit sad that I didn't. Don't let that happen to you.

 

[Mary Poppins]

I used to have a riding instructor who pushed me to the very top of my limits. In some ways this was good because we ended up doing XC courses and I even went round a 2ft 9 course. But I always felt nervous and I always felt that I 'had' to do it rather than really wanting to do it. When I got my own horse I didn't jump for 2 years and now we are really enjoying popping over 2ft courses. I am happy because I don't feel pushed and I feel capable and in complete control. My old RI never understood my nerves and because I had the riding skills to jump high, he didn't understand why I didn't want to do this. You need to find a RI who understands you.

As everyone else has said, you need to talk to your friend. Could you offer to come and watch her lessons and take photos etc. so that she feels supported, and then go and have your lessons elsewhere?