Kinda OT but i really really need advice/help

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Jenni Addams

Jenni Addams

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Jun 20, 2007
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Angus, Scotland
This isn't really anything to do with riding but this is the only place i could come for help.

I was wondering if anyone could advise my in how to proceed with this, as i really have no idea what think of it.

I was argueing with my boyfriend because of my jealousy and it made me think of how i treat emotions and it doesn't seem 'correct'.
I'm smart, at university, good grades etc...but i can't deal with people. When my boyfriend mentions his sisters i flair with unexplained jelousy...almost as if my mind feels they're a threat. I feel such a strong hatred for them, just because he gets on well with them, and i know on some low level that what i feel is silly, but i can't control the angry feeling.

Also, when i see something which upsets others, it doesn't do so for me. For example, when i was young, my friend tripped and fell and i felt no sympathy and actually almost felt annoyed that people were fussing over her. I find it hard to feel sorry for people or things. I also feel embarrassed if people have sympathy for me. If i fall off, i;m frantic to get on and be fine so people don't mention it. Its hard to describe, it just doesn't make sense.

i do such stupid things. I rehearse things i'm going to say in my head, but then most likely never manage to say them. I have a routine of checking everythings off at night. When i was in school i couldn't revise coz the fact that my notes may have been slightly untidily written frustrated me so much i spend the entire time rewriting them. I could spend a whole class writing and rewriting one paragraph because my handwriting wasn't how i wanted it. But i couldnt bring myslef not to do it.

There's other things but i dont want to just post them openly.

Does anyone have any advice, or help, or explanation? Its just getting so hard.
 
Im no expert but it sounds like you have a couple of issues that will only get bigger and more of a problem to you if you dont find a way to resolve them or learn to manage the feelings.

I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but your best bet would be to make a short list (like you've just posted) of your concerns and the things that you are thining/feeling that are affecting your life and go and have a chat with your GP about them. It may be that he can refer you for something like cognitive behavorial therapy to help you to avoid the negative and repetitive thoughts etc or he may suggest something entirely differnet.

The point is that we ALL have these kind of thoght sometimes - it perfectly natural and normal, but if it is starting to affect our quality of life, is stopping us from doing thigs we want to or is having a major impact on our relationships then we need to do something about them.

Please dont be embarrassed or feel silly about discussing it with your GP - they will have come across these issues 1000s of times and will understand how hard it has been for you to approach them and will not make you feel silly
 
I thought about going to my gp but i was worried that i'd be wasting his time. I've always treated a doctor as someone to go to if you're unwell, but this never seemed to fit into what a doctor should have to deal with.

I just felt i had to get this off my chest and this was the only place to go. I thought that by posting on here then i might get advice since a wide variety of people come on here. I don't really have friends, my best friend is mentally disabled, so i don't feel i can discuss things with her.
 
It does sound to me as if you have a mild personality disorder with an inability to empathise. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but if it's causing you concern then it might be a good idea to talk it over with a professional to come to terms with it and learn to deal with it better.

I definitely think you should make the doctor your starting point and tell him or her exactly what you've put in this thread.

There's no shame at all in it. It's exactly the same as when our bodies just aren't quite right. And I can identify myself in a fair bit of what you've said, so I really do understand..
 
I know how you are feeling. My mum had to call an ambulance for me last Wednesday night after me collapsing, waking up and struggling to breathe and pains in my chest. Only to be told by the paramedics that it was nothing serious, just a PANIC ATTACK!!! I have been suffering badly with anxiety levels and panic since this happened. All the GP done was gave me Anti depressents and a coarse of diazpam. I asked to be reffered to a CPN (community physactirc nurse) The drugs has made me feel worse! Dont suffer alone!!!! Good luck! xxxx
 
Jenni Addams said:
I've always treated a doctor as someone to go to if you're unwell
Click to expand...

You are unwell. You are potentially in danger of becoming seriously unwell - the mind, body and soul have to work together - one cant be healthy without the other so please dont think you are wasting their time - catch it now before it gets too big. Drs deal with anxiety and thought problems as well as physical ones.

I understand why you posted - I often ramble about my feelings, fears and confidence issues becuase it is a great group of people, with lots of life expereince and somehow the fact that no-one knows you and you are not face to face makes it easier to stay stuff that you wouldnt normally admit BUT the issues you have are too complicated to be discussed in writing. If someone has similar expereinces they can share them with you but to really help you someone needs to be able to talk to you face to face, be able to ask questions and deal with your individual causes and worries - something that cant be done properly on line.

By all means use the board to support you to pluck up the courage to see your GP but you do need to speak to a person face to face.:D
 
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