It has now been one month since I lost Ben. I have sort of muddled through this time and felt very lost and incredibly sad. I have so much time on my hands that I don't know how to fill and there is a huge void where Ben once was. I have tried sharing a horse one day per week, but this just made me feel worse because I didn't have any connection with this horse at all. He was just a horse and the whole thing seemed pointless and I didn't enjoy it so I have stopped that now. I have no interest in going for riding lessons in a riding school. After having Ben for 10 years (with not many lessons!) I don't want to be told what to do and after hacking solidly for over 3 years, I don't want to go round in circles in a school. I have visited friends horses and brushed them etc. but I don't feel anything towards them either. It feels like all my emotional connection to any horse has completely gone. I help out at my local RDA but again I don't feel much. I don't think badly of any horse I meet, but I have no real interest in them either.
So what happens now? Is this it for me and horses, or will some feeling come back at some point? Has anyone else had this experience? If so, how long did it last for? The only solution I guess is to find a new horse to buy, but when I look at the ads I don't have any inclination to go and view any of them. I just feel very numb but also very lost without Ben.
So what happens now? Is this it for me and horses, or will some feeling come back at some point? Has anyone else had this experience? If so, how long did it last for? The only solution I guess is to find a new horse to buy, but when I look at the ads I don't have any inclination to go and view any of them. I just feel very numb but also very lost without Ben.