new horse and starting over

tiamaria lady

tiamaria lady

Active Member
Jul 2, 2010
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hi guys, sry i have been gone for an age. but im back now and with a new mare whom ive named Skye. only have her officially just over a week but had a trial of a few lessons on her once a week or a month in advance, plus i could go up any time and groom her ect.
She is very quiet but as im used to knowing my horse im finding it difficult to establish that relationship all over again.dont know if im making any sense here. basically i want us to be partners but for her to respect me at the same time.any advice on things i should look out for?? at the moment she is still a pet but im afraid my handling will change that.
She is a connemara x and really sweet and id like to keep her that way.not have her get the better of me as on the ground i lack so much confidence still and throw a new horse into the equasion and im afraid disaster will strike. i want to bring her to our first show on the first of september as its on in the field at the yard so i can easily go back to yard if things are going very wrong for me :redface:
even with the quietest of horses that i had on loan ,they all got the better of me on the ground especially when been led to the field and im afraid i wont be able to handle her at shows as my family are not horse orientated.:unsure:
 
Well, you can get lots of groundwork advice on here!

I am lucky in that my boy although sharp and keen ridden is a Brighton Beach donkey on the ground, but even so I have done lots of groundwork practice with him. We used Rio Barrett's 101 Horsemanship Exercises and have practised yielding the forehand and quarters until our eyes are going in circles!

You can also practice leading using that book - I think it's great, and it's fun to have exercises to do. If she is used to being reliable and compliant with you I think you'll have little to fear if something does go wrong. When Ziggy has had a scare and pulled back, or broken free and spooked while long reining or whatever, steady contact on the head collar (not pulling) and my voice has brought him back to me every time.

You sound anxious about your new girl ever though you say she is lovely. Take your time, it can take ages to build a relationship, especially with quieter horses, but I believe that mares bond very strongly when they decide you are their person. I am sure you will get there.
 
got the better of me on the ground especially when been led to the field
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You are absolutely right - if a horse pulls against a human the horse is always going to win.
And the nicest calmest horse will pull to get to food.
The answer is that it is no good waiting till the battle of wills happens. You have to teach the horse to comply from the very first step when you lead it. I chose to have a lesson from a knowledgeable teacher in how to do this with my share mare, as it may vary with each individual horse. And also according to where you need to lead.
For instance we lead to graze (and to lessons) along roads with cars, so you cant suddenly decide to turn the horse as Jane describes. It can also be cultural. Methods in the USA differ from here and not everyone likes the yielding of quarters. That is another reason for consuting your own instructor.
But whatever you do, and whatever halter and lead rope you use, the horse has to be taught - to be led, to understand the cues and to comply when led. This is just as important as teaching the horse to go well and to understand the cues when ridden.
Yes, it may take time to establish a relationshipo with a new horse and to build upo a shared history but my experience to leading is that the learning process is quick for the horse. One session and then afterwards being consistent.
 
I would start by practicing leading her either in her bridle or headcollar. Very simply, stand by her shoulder and apply a little pressure to the rein (but don’t pull) whilst giving the verbal command ‘walk on’. If she doesn’t walk on, you can give her a little flick with the lead rope or a schooling whip. After 10 strides or so, ask her to halt – again by applying a little pressure and stopping yourself.

My horse was difficult to lead and I repeated the above exercise about 50 times per day for a couple of weeks. He is now much better to lead and will walk by my side and no longer plants himself (which was very annoying). Our next step is to move onto trotting in-hand, but I am finding this morning difficult as he just prefers to walk!

I think that you need to break down everything into very small steps, and one day you will find that it all suddenly fits together.
 
Fab suggestions so far. Good luck with your new little lady. How old is she?
I would elaborate on MP's idea for walking and every now and then just change direction and expect your horse to follow, then turn and back her up a couple of strides, let her realise you are in charge of her feet.
Other than that, the biggest thing you can be aware of, is your feet. It is very difficult to be conscious of all the time, but my horse is very very good at moving me about, just via tactical head movement. I step back or sideways because he's swung his head carriage in my direction. It might feel like it doesn't mean anything, but it's all control of your feet, and you don't want that, you want to be in control of theirs. Imagine a hula hoop of space round your feet and up your body and don't let the horse in there (unless invited for cuddles on the odd occasion). I've seen me standing with my horse and he will put one hoof forward into my space and I back him up. If he gets away with one hoof, before I know it, he's bulldozed through and taken me off to some lovely grass.
 
Oh yes - backing up is one of the first things that needs to be established.

When I enter my horses stable I expect him to step back and away from me to allow me space to enter. It is very simple to teach. Stand by his shoulder and face him. Give short firm pushes between his shoulders whilst staying 'back'. He should move away from the pressure of the touch or prod (not sure what other word to use!). With repetition, the horse will then start to move backwards at the command and then should do it automatically when you enter the stable. My horse needs reminding from time to time, but this is something that I am very strict on. My Ben is a 16.1hh shire x, and is a very big horse to have in my space.
 
Firstly, I will say try not to stress! My horse was super-sharp (because she was scared witless) for a good few months after I bought her and moved her to a new yard. It took HOURS to catch her - we had to corner her with a lunge line - and she got away from me leading her a couple of times. I was very nervous with her on the ground as she was/is my first horse and so I was very inexperienced. She is now calm as you like, walks up to me to be caught, and I can lead her around like a large dog! So it will take time for you and your horse to form a bond, don't expect it to happen quickly and don't worry if you're a bit nervous because doing stuff with your horse every day will gradually get rid of those nerves.

I'd advise loads of grooming, because that's brilliant for building up a bond and there's no pressure on you and the horse. If you lead, do so on a lunge line as there's more rope to hold onto if your horse does get away. Try and act confident, even if you don't feel it - try singing! Maybe taking her to a show so soon is a bit ambitious? I am a wuss about such things anyway but I think I'd prefer a bit more confidence in the relationship before taking her to a pressurised environment like a show. Up to you of course - your horse, your rules!
 
You see! This is why I love NR because people on here actually acknowledge that it's okay and quite normal to have to learn groundwork skills. When we first got our own horses it was not talked about on the yard we were on and you were almost shunned for not automatically having the right knowledge and the right methods for handling your horse on the ground. I think if it hadn't been for NR and the discussions on here then I'd have been left feeling both inadequate and actually rather scared at some times.
 
I would establish your ground rules and boundaries in the first instance and stay consistent. What works for both of you could be different from what others allow, dont allow. There is no right or wrong its your partnership.

Any photos:biggrin:
 
thanks guys. i needed that reassurance and great advice. ive tried backing up ect and she's pretty ok at that. prob could do with a bit of work as when she gets excited about her friends calling her from the field she kinda forgets im there.....but i do get her attention to back up by persisting. i have only ridden her 3 or four times since i have her in the last week and a bit so ive spent every minute with her on the ground. yesterday i got a bit anxious when i went to the field to catch her as i slipped the headcollar on she pulled her head up and looked like she was going to do a runner and i thought "oh no," but she did'nt. Now im freaking out that she'll start doing that to me. i have been bringing her for a walk down the lane way where the nice grass is letting her hand graze and doing some groundwork on the walk down and back, just so as that she realises that ever time she see's me its not work related.i dont even know do horses really think like that?? do they??
next thing worrying me is hacking out solo even tho ive done it down the laneways but she's not a fan of leaving her field buddies. ive got to stop worrying right ? i should remember i was the exact same with Izzy at the start and it did all come together.
@ Squidsin i agree with thinking its a bit early for us show wise, my YM is anxious for me to do it, for me i might just hack around the field and see how she feels about the atmosphere.
Flipos Mum good pointer about the feet, i had forgotten about that will watch it from here on. she is eight yrs old so really its just me probably panicking is it ? lol!
@ jane and ziggy, i love NH , im going to look into it more now.
MP your Ben is very like my horse i had on loan .....a Shire x also 16.1. she had a lovely personality and everytime i look at your profle pic it reminds me of her. :)
 
Trewsers said:
You see! This is why I love NR because people on here actually acknowledge that it's okay and quite normal to have to learn groundwork skills. When we first got our own horses it was not talked about on the yard we were on and you were almost shunned for not automatically having the right knowledge and the right methods for handling your horse on the ground. I think if it hadn't been for NR and the discussions on here then I'd have been left feeling both inadequate and actually rather scared at some times.
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oh my God Trewsers YES!!! this is why i love this forum too as no one ever makes anyone feel silly.
 
newforest said:
I would establish your ground rules and boundaries in the first instance and stay consistent. What works for both of you could be different from what others allow, dont allow. There is no right or wrong its your partnership.

Any photos:biggrin:
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also true NF :happy:
oh yes i only have her a short while and already have a bucket load of pics....will try get them up asap :biggrin:
 
I am glad we made you feel better!

Take it at your own pace. When I think back to Ziggy arriving, he was a complete bundle of nerves for at least 6 months. He was always good on the ground, but he was a monkey to catch (once - I soon put a stop to that!) and very twitchy and anxious when being tacked up, afraid to go in the shelter, pulling back when tied up, all sorts of things. Gentle, firm consistency and lots of petting and praise (and treats, we do clicker training, but not everybody likes treats for horses) worked wonders. He stalks me in the field now and is so relaxed with me, everyone comments on what a cool customer he is.

We did hack with friends to an in-hand TREC competition in the first 6 months though and had a ball, though he bounced all the way home as if all 4 feet were springs :playfull:

It just occurs to me that you should find out where she likes to be scratched. I thought Ziggy didn't like it until my friend Carol who grooms for me when I'm away told me that he likes his neck scratching near where his head joins on. Now I can turn him into a giraffe-camel impression any time! That sort of thing really builds up a bond. Just ask NF, she can scratch her mare for 45 minutes at a time :biggrin:
 
The man that mad time made plenty of it, so small steps make big gains, enjoy your new pal.
 
just a quick update....she's still as sweet as ever on the ground *hoping not to jinx it* spent hours with her yesterday with ground work and grooming. the incident in the field with putting on the headcollar is something she will apparently try with new people until YM showed me a trick to stop her. So off i went to catch her yesterday and slid the headcollar on as shown and she just gave me that eye as if to say " touche" new mummy :D and quietly plodded in behind me. i hope to ride her again today. fingers crossed she stays as good as she has been in the last few weeks.
your dead right though pinkheater, there is all the time in the world really to start over again.
 
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